Confessions of a Teenage Monster
by QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner
Summary: AU STORY Naruto has a normal life, friend's, a nice popularity, fake vomit recipe. But when something strage happen's at the playground one day that roll's into sending him to a new town, Naruto get's to join his new school's club, the 'Demon's club'
1. Transformation

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or anything else in this fic. referrence or song, it's owned by.... it's rightful owner... stuff

I CHANGED THE NAMES TO WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE! ANIMALS HAVE CHANGED ALSO! SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION!

1 Tailed Racoon- Gaara Sabaku

2 Tailed Cat- Yugito Ni'i

3 Tailed Turtle- Yagura Urameshiya

4 Tailed Gorilla- Roshi Yurei

5 Tailed Hourse- Han Bakemono

6 Tailed Slug- Utakata Kaibutsu

7 Tailed Beetle- Fuu Monsuta

8 Tailed Ox- Kirabi Yotsuki

9 Tailed Fox- Naruto Uzumaki

XP I'll have to look at this a thousand times as a write this O_o sorry for the sucky names XP Also, unless it is listed otherwise the whole story will be in Naruto's POV

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Prolouge-Transformation

Nobody really _cares_ what I'm doing now, but the least I can do is tell you how I got to this.

It really started on the playground, hah, bet you've never heard _that_ one before. I was thirteen, the class clown and lovin' it. When I was first born my parent's apparently left me on the doorstep of a quiet and small orphanage, bet you've never heard that either huh? Iruka Umino was the owner the orphanage and took me with open arm's. Now parent's came and went, but they never seemed to take a second look at me- Or a first for some. I liked it though, Iruka was my best friend and all the kid's who were deemed as 'fosters' came and went and I was alway's there, not even a foster, no one cared about the class clown.

School was no diffrent, as the class clown my grades were terrible. But I was never _bullied_ par-say, I was in a way popular, I mean, everybody knew my name. Yelling it whenever a eraser fell on someone's head or when a unidentifiable gooey substance was found on the cafateria floor,

But I don't go emo about it, nooooo. I actually love my life- I mean, I gotta decent amount of friend's. The li'l kid's at the Orphanage worship me and then older kid's have a certain enjoyable tolerance for me. The one's my age will let me follow them, noticed but never the center of attention, (Untill I pull out my special recipe for fake vomit)

Iruka put me in charge of the little kid's today, stupid man, he should of known better. When he get's home he'll be greeted by nothing but a note and a bunch of the older kid's finding a strange unidentifiable gooey substance in their shoe's cause they refused to come,

I brought the kid's to the local park, Alot of the little kid's get home's right away, or are taken to foster home's every other week. So there were only about five or six kid's with me,

"Come on kid's, I have a new puppy,"

"Naruto!" I turned around from my spot on the swing, Konohamaru and his two new friend's Udon and Moegi were calling after me. Some weird tall guy in a bright uniform was with them,

I got up and ran over, "Ey Konohamaru what's wrong?" I asked,

"This guy won't leave us alone!" He said pointing to the man with one hand and his shiney blue ball in the other,

"The kid's ain' goin' too your van for some candy buddie, walk away," I said mockingly.

He looked at me glareing "Scram shorty and let the big man play," He gave a sadistic smile and reached down grapping Moegi's arm, "Come on sweetie,"

"Naruto!" Moegi urged me,

"Dude, no mean's no,"

"I said _scram_,"

"And I said _leave_," I grapped Moegi's arm and tugged her away from him.

His face flared. He grapped my shirt and pushed me into the jungle gym. My head hit hard agenst the metal, that's when everything _first_ started getting red. I glared up at him and suddenly felt an urge to start growling. "I said beat it kid. Come on babies,"

"Naruto!" I head was stinging. I reached to the back of it and felt blood trickleing, but the rest of it started stinging, I looked ahead and watched as he tried to lead the kid's to the parking lot. Well this is awfully screwed up ain't it? A good time at the park lead's to this...Nothing's really registering, I'm still watching after them, all I feel is tingleing all over my body, the pain in my head turn's into something diffrent, all I could see was red, Konohamaru and his friend's face's calling after me in red. That guy's cocky eye's mocking me in red. Iruka's worried face going near them as the guy reached into his jacket and my heart started beating a thousand time's a second in red,

Then it was black.

"Naruto? Naruto!"

I opened my eye's, everything was going by in dark flashes. I felt sick and wet, I could hear kid's crieing. "What happened?"

"Naruto it's okay it's alright! you did what you had too!" I heard Iruka's frantic voice calling me. Thing's were getting clearer, I tried closeing my eye's tight again and opened them. We were still at the park, there were other noise's, I felt Iruka's hand's on my shoulder's, Moegi, Udon and Konohamaru were at the side with a group of people. The other noise's were screaming and siren's, siren's arn't out of the ordinary in this town, but in a park?

"Naruto?" That voice... Such a irritateing voice that's probably what a greek god sound's like. Sasuke Uchiha, my best friend in this whole world, the only guy who ever notice's me, I almost feel sorry for putting the goo in his shoe's, "Naruto... What did you do?" Sasuke was probably the first person I saw really clearly, his face seemed calm, cool, like alway's, but confused for something. Then the siren's got closer,

I looked ahead to the man on the ground,

And then down to my shirt and hand's covored in blood,

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not sure I like it- it all went by a little too fast and I might of spent too much time describeing Naruto's 'confusion'

I'll try and post the next chapter soon! since i need to write these at home and put them on a CD to take to the library to post, unless I go to the library tomarrow then the first chapter will posted also,

If you like it review- they'll be updated faster if i get good feedback! XD

P.S. sorry for the overused title! XD


	2. Sentance? Life to Death

DISCLAIMER: I still don't own anything XP

Yea, anyway, Next chappie,

In the last one I wasn't really planning on putting Sasuke in it but needed a cute moment, Iruka was haveing a breakdown so Sasuke got to say 'Naruto, what have you done?' XD he does sound like a greek god a lil huh? (THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE YAOI, JUST CLOSE FRIENDSHIP.....VERY CLOSE)

This is coming along like one of those book's that you've never heard of but seem to be at every bookstore and library like its actually popular O_o

REALLY hope my disk doesnt run out of space untill this is over (And just to tell you now, after the main part of this story is done, there might be a series of epilouge story's, you know, like when a book you've never heard of but seems to be at every bookstore and library is made into a movie and then a TV serie's... LIKE TWILIGHT!)

XD okayz time for no more ranting and more story makeing.... do links work here? I don't think so.... PLEZ GO TO MY DEVIANT ART ACCOUNT AND JOIN MY GIVCHOJISUMLUVCLUB! PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE! REVIEW THAT YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN AND I'LL LINK YOU TO IT! _PLEAAAAAAAAAASE!_

-----------------------------------------------------------------Chapter 1: Sentance? Death to Life

"The jury find's the defendant. Not guilty, on account of man slaughter in the first degree. Next case please," Ever hear about a murder trial in 'small claim's court'? Might as well of done this thing in _food court_ the verdict woulda been the same. Not guilty on account of self defence.... That make's _everything,_ _all,_ better.

Even when the guy _does_ turn out to be a murderer-child up-duckiter thingy. I should at _least_ be sent to juvie, or maybe community service? I woundn't mind washing old people's back's for a while...Their, oily, warty, wrinkly, paper...thin ..... baaaaaaaa_aaaaaaack's_, shudder... But still... _something_ to get rid of this _GUILT_

"Naruto?"

"Huh?" I snap out of my dreaming. The room is bustleing with people makeing last-chance runaway's and getting ready for the next case. Iruka shake's my shoulder trieing to get my focus back,

"Naruto, we can go now, it's all over." He say's, giving that smile I can't resist. I smile back and stand up,

On the way out about a thousand and one mom's came up to me crieing, thanking me for 'ridding the world of that demon' Which did a little for the guilt. I was just thankful to get out of that itchy _suit_ at the end of the day, "Wowee! Naruto! you were so awsome just digging into that guy like nothin!" Konohamaru jumped up and down in my room as I put on my clothes, Moegi, who had been the one balling so loud she sounded like ten children, stood in my doorway with a greatful smile on her face despite her silence.

My room's nothin' I share a bunk bed with Sasuke. There's another bunk across the tiny room that's used by Shino Aburame, who is tottaly weird, I mean- he's the kinda nerd who had a ant farm....Which has a hole in it and they keep leaking out to MY bed! The other kid _was_ Choji Akimichi but he got a home recently with a friend at school, who then transferred, 'Never to be seen again- except from the second floor' the kid's joke, I keep stareing at the room. Blocking out Konohamaru's story, I _still_ don't remember a thing, it was all black, I'm hassled with nightmare's every night. I block it out, everything, stareing at the blue wall's in a trance,

"Naruto?" I perk my head up snapping out of it, I look to the doorway and see Konohamaru and Moegi looking up at Sasuke. He give's a faint smile, so out of character, the big jerk, "You want the top tonight?"

"Shut up I don't need your pity party," I glare, his smile fade's and we enter a stareing contest. Maybe he did that just to fire me up, I smile, cracking out of it like usual,

He look's down with his eye's closed and bite's his lip, _there's_ the Sasuke I know, I laugh for no reason, tension again, Iruka told me I had to take some time everyday to calm down. I think Sasuke just saved me from snapping,

--------Dinner 6:00

Kiba gave me a _small_ form of pity at the dinner table, which like usual was consisted of bored tween's and the little kid's. Older teen's ate in the living room, Kiba's form of pity was- instead of yaking and picking the hell out of me- he merely smiled like the cocky son 'o' bitch he is and kicked me from under the table,

"Knock it off!" I yell, like he was doing his usual,

"Heaaaaaaaal no," He laugh's, his laugh was like a barking dog. He looked like one, with his dirty white T-shirt, scratched dirty jean's and ratted hair. really brought the 'son of a bitch' theory to life,

"Kiba watch your mouth!" Iruka scold's, ahhh, the un-normal normalty once again,

''I can't! it's hidden beneath my nose!" He scruntches his nose like he's trieing. Which make's him look _more_ like a dog,

"Your such a puppy Kiba," I finally crack, the son 'o' bitch theory wasn't original, he knew what it ment

"Shut up!"

"Boy's! knock it off!" Iruka start's to stand and hold us apart as we get up and throw (_half_) friendly punches across the table, the little kid's laugh and Sasuke pretend's we don't exsist as he finishes his potatoes,

---------Next Day

"Shit! damn! crap! frickle dickle sticks oh mighty!" I curse as I throw on clothes, Sasuke stand's in the doorway ready but waiting for me- Idiot, I alway's make him late,

"Stop making your stupid dictionary for loser's and spend more time putting on clean underwear," I stop to give him a 'SHT THA FUK UP' look. What's wrong with my lucky green's?

"Shity dree fuke ipe!" I whine,

"I'll type that in the 'R' for retard's section on the way loser, just get dressed," I sit down and cross my leg's, dedicateing at least five second's of time glareing at him. But then the bus honk's on four, "Hurry up loser!" ahh! at least come up with a diffrent name! like my own maybe? But yeah, everyone usually walk's to school since the bus is alway's late. The theory is if you don't leave by the time the bus doe's your doomed to tarty-nezz-ezz-ezz... Ha, ex di to that LOSER!

"Ex di to that loser!" Sasuke glares, was I thinking aloud again?

"Do your math on the way loser!"

Sasuke run's out of the room and down the step's, probably to stall the bus, I call after him struggleing with my pant's button "Yeah well why don't you c_ome up with a diffrent name!_" Dahhh! why's Iruka keep buying me these damned button fly's!?! THERE OUT TO GET ME I TELL YA!!!

------School

We made it on the bus and to the school, Sasuke get's Science, Gym, and Math in the day and I get Math, Science, and Gym, after that all our classes are together. We high five as we rush to the room's just as the bell ring's. Sasuke make's it inside but I tripped-Did that janitor _still_ not clean my 'vomit' from the other day?

"Move it Hell boy," Hm, that's a new- ah crap why did I think the school wouldn't catch wind of my 'incident'?

"Shove off Sakon!" Yea, it was Sakon with his twin brother Fukon or whatever, or maybe it was Ukon with his twin brother Sukon? I can't tell, they still wear the same clothes, light blue hoodie's and tan pant's. I start to imagine them in pink sun-dresses with their hair in red ribbon's

"I'm Ukon brat," Yep I was wrong, but Sakon is usually the one who talk's... I, think.

"Fukon and Sukon? nice ta' see ya, I needa get to class now," I try to walk inside but the one who's apparently Ukon block's my way,

"Hear your on the run,"

"And I hear you got the run's" We glare for a few moment's and I push my way past into the classroom when he doesn't come up with a comeback in a decent amount of time,

I walk inside and I was right, the entire school seemed to have heard my story. Kid's give me weird look's and the Teacher doesn't look me in the eye's as he hand's me a tarty slip. This is gonna me good I think as I walk down the aisle to my seat and hear the whisper's

----------Gym

Math was full of people stareing. Science had people snickering or stareing at me like I had green horn's sticking out of my head. So Gym would beeeeeee-

"Hey! Ripper!" Ah geez, I haven't been called that since that third grade field trip, long story "You can play on our team if you promise not to kill the other team if they win!" Okay, this is getting really old, so I killed a guy? It's not like- Okay I won't finish that,

Kidomaru was the guy talking. He's just a sadist who still squat's in the school parking lot burning ant's, (Much to bug-boy Shino's dismay) I start glareing, which is all I can really do, "Find another mentally unstable kid to pick on Keid," I joke,

"But your the best one buddie! I mean- killing a man infront of a bunch of family's and tot's, getting away with it and then claiming you don't remember doing it? Your a hoot! my stupid young seria- " He start's choking after I run up and punch him in the neck. Coach Guy blow's his whistle,

"Naruto! what, are you doing?" He say's, Coach Guy is ridiculous. He has giant eye brow's a bowl cut and alway's wear's a green letterman jacket and matching short-short's, and for some unknown reason has a one-sided rivalry with Mr. Hatake from Science,

I point my finger at Kidomaru who seem's to be having trouble breathing, guess I don't know my own strength, "He was picking on me!" I whine like a little kid. I suddenly felt a li'l like Konohamaru,

"Well, Naruto, you still shou- Hm? Kidomaru are you okay son?" I look at Kidomaru who's still holding his neck, struggleing to breath,

"Kido-? I- I'm sorry I was just, he wouldn't," I stutter stareing at him as he gasped for breath, the sick feeling I had back in the playground began again, the room turned red and I felt my self twitching.

I fell to the ground not being able to register much, I let out a scream- at least I think it was me- I started remembering. What I did, the feeling of me shoveing my hand into his stomach so hard that it broke the skin and ripped the bottom of his lung. The blood splatting on my clothes, and the screaming, I couldn't tell if it was real anymore, and I couldn't help thinking that I might do it again, now or someday, that someone's gonna console me right now and I'll hurt them,

I see Sasuke running toward's me. Fear overwhelm's my body and I call for it. I call for the blackness, and it take's me,

--------Later

I wake up to someone calling me again. I open my eye's and see the dark flashes again, red, purple, black. But it's Sasuke's voice I hear, I breath a sigh of relief,

"Sasuke?"

"Right here Naruto, do you remember anything?" He ask's sounding like he just calmed down from something, or like he's rushing,

"....I remember makeing Kidomaru cry like a baby,"

"Oh shut up brat," My vision start's getting clearer and I look to my right, Kidomaru's sitting up in the bed next to me. We're in the nurse's office and he has bandages around his neck. He glare's like he's mad but know's it's his fault, yay,

I turn to my left and Sasuke's hovering my bed. Shizune, the school nurse has a fixed on worried/happy expression on her face that I remember her haveing when Konohamaru's friend Udon had a severe allergic reaction to the 'meatloaf surprise' that for some reason had shrimp in it, "Are you feeling alright Naruto?" She ask's kindly,

"Fine," I say, I feel like I fell down three flight's of stair's, landed on my head, and pounced my way into a shredder but overall? I'm peachy. I look at Sasuke's once again out-of-character face, "What happened?"

"You had a guilt-induced breakdown, screamed like a little girl being chainsawed to death, and passed out for three hour's." I shut my eye's tight and smile, I look at him and he seem's to smile at my pain. There's Sasuke,

"What about Iruka?"

He leaned close to me, in the corner of my eye I noticed Kidomaru raise up like he was really interested, Sasuke whispered in my ear "_I gave them the wrong number, I didn't want to tell him untill you woke up,_" I chuckle, he pull's back looking like he's proud and crosses his arm's. I sit up, yup, musta fallen down a flight of stair's. I turn my head to Kidomaru and he glare's back looking unsatisfied, I stick out my tounge,

--------------Home

Sasuke had sweet-talked the fresh-outta-collage secretary to let me and him outta all the day's classes, as long as we 'wern't up to leaveng the nurse's office Konohamaru came inside to see what the commotion was about- I swear that sometime's he's too outgoing for his own good.

We left the school at the end of the day, (Same time as Kidomaru since he played the same card we did) Kidomaru actually seemed guilty for hassleing me earlier, I smile just thinking about what a sucker I could make outta people. But the way out was still brutal, all the kid's that hadn't left yet stared, and the one's that were in the Gym at the time were worse. 'Unstable' 'Mentally handicapped' 'Imp' 'Monster' were all the thing's I could make out of them whispering. Me and Sasuke ignored it but we stopped talking after that, that's when the 'screaming' started,

The sound's were just like when I was blacking out, and I remembered them being just faint the first time. Now it was like two people a few yard's to my right and left were screaming at the top of their lung's. Sasuke obviously couldn't hear it so I knew it was in my head,

Konohamaru caught up with us and started talking our ear's off again, Sasuke politely listened and every now and then I would slump acting like he was tortureing me. which it was quite the opposite. His talking almost completely drowned out the scream's,

We finally got home, where it was time to face Iruka, we walked up to him. Nervous, and I told him the whole story, I'd have to say his expression turned to at least five diffrent extream's during the conversation,

"And I'm _reaaaaally really_ sorry that I overreacted and I shouldn't of hit him but he's _annoying_ Iruka! he drive's everybody crazy! I guess I shouldn't of done it at such a stressy time but I'm _sorry_ I'm really really _sorry_!" I ask for his forgiveness and his face finally settle's at a expression of stressed understanding,

"Naruto," He say's more calmly then I would usually deserve, "Come with me," He stand's up from the kitchen table and I follow him into the dark dining room, only ever used for holiday's, "Naruto, I understand how you must be feeling right now,"

"I'm _really_ sorry Iruka bu-"

"Not about that Naruto, well not so much of it," I look at him confused, he give's a unsteady smile "Naruto, I tracked down your parent's. They died eight year's ago, but I think I have a home for you finally,"

"Your sending me away?!" I yell. I shouldn't cause I knew that the other's could hear,

"No Naruto not like that, it's just, I want you to take a break from this town, so they can get over everything and you don't have to deal with people at school talking," He tell's me, almost like he'd been there when the kid's were whispering, "Naruto, your father was a important man in his community, and your mother was a lovely woman who taught night school, but Naruto, I found their will's and it included a note to you," I listened to everything he said quietly, thankful because the screaming in my head had started up again and he was drowning it out perfectly. He handed me a wrinkled note from his pocket, as I took it I noticed Sasuke's reflection in the mirror behind Iruka, he held his hand over Konohamaru's mouth and behind them were Udon, Moegi and Kiba,

I read the note that's lettering had turned orange agenst the yellow from the year's

_'To our dearest son, Naruto'_ It read,

_We write to you as we sit in our car waiting for the owner's of this beautifal looking orphange to get back and make sure your found right away,_

_we know that you've probably spent year's wondering about us by now, but we would like to assure you that we have alway's loved you very much._

_When you were born, we were estatic, and raised you the best we could but. After a few day's, we realized that our hectic live's would never be enough for you (especially since even as a baby you were extreamly active, trying to lift your head at two day's old, and even now as you seem to want to know what we're writeing)'_ It had in a diffrent writeing style.

_'we alway's wanted nothing but the best for you, and if this note get's to you before we're able to show it, we want you to know just how much your fill our heart's with nothing but love and joy (and mostly tiredness)'_ it added again in a diffrent writeing that must have been the other parent. I smiled,

_'Alway's know that no matter what, we are with you,_

_Alway's loveing you, your parent's, Minato amd Kushina Uzumaki'_ I look down at it, fighting back the tear's that I knew were comeing,

"This.... Is the most sappiest thing I've ever read," I say as calmly I can handle. Iruka smile's bigger,

"Naruto, In their will they still named a godfather for you. I thought you could stay with him for a while," I look up at him, there wasn't a lying bone in his body, I knew that he did this all for me, and that he really did want me to come back after thing's settled.

I couldn't stand the drama anymore, it just wasn't me, "Thank's... I go if you _really think_ I'm the one that keep's people from comeing any more! ugh!" Iruka goe's surprised for a second but his smile get's bigger. I watch in the mirror as Sasuke finally let's Konohamaru go,

"Naruto! Naruto your not really going are you!?" Konohamaru whine's grapping my pant leg. Udon and Moegi join him and start chanting my name,

"Don't worry guy's! I call.... Every second tuesday of the thirteenth month on the fourtieth day in the year 1000 BC"

"Before cartoon's!?!?" Kiba yell's.

"Stop gettin' your material from Spongebob you sob," I start to laugh as it take's him a couple second's to register that.

Then, the chaseing began,

--------Next day

Last night I had spilled my gut's to Sasuke, told him everything that I had been experianceing. I wasn't sure of the next time I'd be seeing him face-to-face again. I told him about the screaming, (which he replied with doing the pose from 'The Scream' painting) how my vision would blur and finally all my nightmare's in embarresing detail. I hate how I just let go when I'm with him,

I also had to promise Konohamaru _again_ that I would call at least twice a week. Thank's to Udon's pestering three time's a week. And, thank's to Moegi's puppy-dog eye's five time's a week. And thank's to Sasuke and Iruka's good-luck's it turned to every night.... Ugh, Ti dot, ti!

But there was one part

"Naruto," Sasuke walked up to me on my way out and my heart sunk, I, did, not, want, a, sappy, goodbye!

"What is it?" I growl, sounding meaner then I intended for the last time we saw eachother for a while,

"Here," He hand's me a small white object, I pick it up and see that it's his old Ipod

"What's this for," He give's me a half smile

"To block stuff out,"

I glare at him, I don't want him to show me so much pity all the time! I'm not a defenseless little morsel! "Sasuke. Let me see _you_ once before I go?"

He grap's my shirt and pull's my face next to his, "Don't screw anything up _too_ bad loser, or else I'm flushing your idiot's dictionary down the toilet,"

I smile and pull away, that's my Sasuke,

Wanna know his story? he got here after his house burned down. Him and his brother were the only survivor's, there were rumor's that his brother, Itachi, was the one that started the fire. Sasuke believed them and spent most of his time tracking down his brother who'd run away from his orphange in another town. Year's of searching uncovored that the cop's had found the _real_ arsonist, and Sasuke switched to spending his free time tracking down his brother, just to track him down. On a side note? the Ipod used to be his,

That's my Sasuke,

----------Namikaze town

Namikaze town was diffrent then the run-down chao's of town's over from Tanzaku, Namikaze was a relatively _clean_ town, bright and cheery, not a homeless person '_in sight'_ well, at least I'm not stuck in the suburb's!

The Taxi drove me to a plain city-like part of town and pulled up to a cafe. The pre-paid driver sped off before I could say anything, 'Ichiraku Noodlez' The sign sa- Noodles? RAMEN!? Oh oh oh I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove RAMEN! yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayyayayayaya- Ow!

"Up here clowny-boy! ha ha ha!" Roared a rough voice from above. Hit in the head with a shoe, perfect way to start my day. Looking up I noticed that above the cafe was a tiny apartment, the owner of the shoe had left the window. I take out the Ipod and blast music in my ear's.

_1 2 3 4-_

_5 day sunset_

_one way trip_

_where she touched my soul_

_when I touched her lip's_

_she said_

_'boy take me to-_

_where ever we go'_

_destination my heart_

_but destiny said no._

_Tell me_

_how could such a good thing only_

_last_

_1 2 3 4-_

_5 day's_

_once in a lifetime_

_5 night's_

_too good to be true_

_beauty was just_

_passin' by_

_but I can't forget our_

_1 2 3 4-_

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!" Roared the voice again when I opened the door. A huge guy with a wart on his nose and ten foot long gray hair greeted me with a giant goofy-lookin' grin, he worn a tattered red robe and I prayed for underwear beneath,

".....Jiraiya?"

"YAY! you remember my name!"

"It's on the mailbox at the bottom of the staircase," I pointed down the step's and he pulled me inside. He then threw himself onto the door blocking my only way out.

"..Sorry.... You see I kinda got some new coffee today and since the can is alway's _so_ heavey I like to drink half the can on the first day! cause like' if it were to fall on somebody's head _it would probably hurt alot_," I stared at him wide-eyed and he stared back, "ANYWAY!" He roared, spiting on my face, I turn up the volume again "I like this coffee," He say's hugging the can next to him, " YOUR ROOM!..... IS..... OVER..... THERE!" He point's behind me,

We were in the tiny-dark green tiled kitchen part, there was a half wall thing that seperated the kitchen from a orange living room that held the huge window with a great view overlooking the town. He pointed to a green door on the left of a red door that must of been his room. To the left of the entrance there was a blue door that was open showing the tiny gray bathroom... Hmpf, colorful,

"I STYLED YOUR ROOM FOR YOU!" Shit, that can't be good,

He led me through the door, still about as hyper as when I'm in the mood and start playing with Konohamaru. I looked inside and the room was orange, to the near right was a trashcan, styled to where I could probably throw something behind my back and it'd land inside perfectly, the far right of the room had a desk with a computer and a number of school folder's. The near left of the room had the bed, which was agenst the wall faceing ahead to a huge window that matched the one in the living room, another awsome view. the far left had a TV on the carpeted floor- which I've never had either of, and a bookcase that's bottom two shelf's consisted of video game's, video game system, and a bunch of movie's.... It felt like a heaven on earth,

It took me a while to register (and the booming music didn't help that) that Jiraiya had been talking the whole time "Annnnnd- that's how your dad broke his leg the _third_ time, anyway. Back to the ROOOOOOM concept, I remembered that as a baby you reminded me of your mother so I figured that you'd be like her now and so I created THIS MASTERPIECE! ooooooh, which remind's me of this one time where I was with my two friend's, they were this flat-chested girl and a quiet guy with make-up and I saw them eating dumpling's this one time an-"

"How'd you get this done so quick?" I asked not really wanting to know what his life story was- How did this guy know my _parent's?_ He look's like he could be my grandpa!

He looked at me for a second and smiled, "... I started after I bought the coffee this morning,"

I also looked at him a second before I replied, "....I think I might love you,"

"COOL! I don't go for guy's- and definitly not little guy's, " He rubb's my head like a five year old, I then notice just how much taller he is as he has to bend down to talk to me "But that ACTUALLY remind's me of this other time! same people same town- because we lived here ALL OUR LIVE'S! and then it was like this where we were at the dock's an-" As he continue's to talk a thousand mile's a minute and I close the door on him as he continue's to talk like he didn't notice,

I unpacked my stuff in silence, his rambleing's outside the door didn't stop, which weirded me out to where I was slightly creeped out which probably assisted in my state of what I believed to be shock. The nightstand at the end of the bed had drawer's big enough to hold my 'HUGE FASHION SUPPLY' My shock caused me to fold my clothe's which disturbed me. Oh well, they'd get messed up to my likeing sooner or later,

The sun went down and I knew I had to keep my promise, I walked out my door and he was still outside talking, but in a less hyped tone, he followed me out the door, "Where ya goin?" He asked as I started down the step's,

"Make a phone call,"

"Dhere's a phoney up dere!" He blub's,

"Privacy" I said, realizeing I was sounding like Sasuke, I shuddered at the thought of two totally opposite world's crashing into eachother,

"OKAY'S!" He slammed the door and I jumped, turning to see that he really was gone I tip-toed down the stair's and outside to a pay-phone.

"Hello?" I said after putting in the dime at the phone booth across the street

"NARUTO!!!!" Konohamaru's familiar black-board scratching voice echoed and reminded me of Jiraiya, I turned around to check if he was watching but I didn't see him in the window,

"Hi Naruto!" Moegi's voice chimed in and I heard Udon's sniffleing nearby. A beep signalling the speaker phone went off

"Hello Naruto! did you make it there okay?" Iruka said from what I could imagine somewhere behind Konohamaru, I could just see the huddled around the dark living room where Konohamaru ahd put the phone on the coffee table for him to wait for my call,

"Yeah, I'm here,"

"What's you room like Naruto?'' Udon asked

"Do you have any animal's?" Moegi chimed

I heard Kiba's voice from somewhere farther away, "A dog I can howl too direction's of how to make your life miserable perhap's?"

"I thought your mom was in the 'dog house' for stealing cat nip for her _sister_?" I mock, I hear Kiba get up from where ever he was and growl into the phone,

There's some mumbleing and the beep goe's off again, "Hey Naruto," Sasuke say's,

"Yoooo, what cha' doin?"

"Sorting through my fan mail, it's lonely without you-_rs_," He mock's, sniff, and I _love_ reading his fan mail with him! Sakura Haruno write's to ME sometime's! '_And E is for your extrodonary eye's. Now, NARUTO IF YOUR READING THIS I'LL POUND YOU! AND IF YOU SAY ANYTHING TO INO! YOU GOT THAT VOMIT-BOY!?'_ Ahhh, yes, she's so pretty!

'_Please insert more coin's'_ The phone say's,

"Shit! I'm outta time and don't have any change on me Sasuke!" He turn's speaker back on,

"Bye Naruto!"

"Bye bye!"

"Good luck Naruto!"

I talk fast counting the second's, "Bye guy's thank's Iruka my room is awsome the only animal here is Jiraiya Kiba your mom's a bitch I love you guy's bye Sasuke bye everybody PEACE!" I hang up so their laughter is that last thing I hear, I imagine Kiba barking and the kid's rolling around laughing, then Iruka telling everybody to go to bed out of frusteration he couldn't get any scolding in,

I finally turn to walk toward's the cafe slash, my house. I see Jiraiya looking down at me, it seem's to register that I see him and he start's makeing face's. I get inside and he smile's to me sitting up on the couch like a _animal_, I silently walk to my room and lay down on my bed, fully dressed and shoe's still on,

Looking out the window I'm amazed, the star's are all out and there arn't any neon sign's. A shooting star flashes by on que and I make a small wish,

'_Let everything be okay'_

Heh, It's a loop-hole Iruka taught me, cause it can be alot of thing's, Let nothing bad happen, let my friend's be okay, have me make some new friend's, make everything decent.... The screaming started again at the worst time, I put on the head phone's again, the next song on the list was pure hilarity to me,

_So, when I_

_look to the sky_

_I say, hey the star's_

_are still embraceing,_

_look's like a crowd of people,_

_emitting all diffrent type's of light,_

_so when I'm feeling down,_

_I look to the heaven's and I remember_

_the wish I made when I was young_

_entrusted my dream's to a shooting star,_

My dream's?

To dream about my friend's tonight,

------Next day

"WAKEY WAKEY!" Jiraiya burst's into my room and I fall off the bed,

Welp, whatever I dreamed last night, this bump _sure_ won't let me remember it now,

---------------------------------------------

YAYZ!

long chapter,

THANK YOU EVERYBODY 4 YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWZ!.....

REALLY long chapter,

Remember, i don't own any music, and this isn't a songfic so YOU CANT REPORT ME.... now BLAH

anyway..... yayz people have favorited this!..... REALLY LONG CHAPTER...... XD

plz read on..... Crap, now to start the next chapter _ I wonder if I'm makeing Naru-Chan too serious O_o

Jiraiyaz hyperz XD (And Sakura made a short-kinda-sorta apperance! and I didn't bash her in any way that Masashi Kishimoto doesnt!)


	3. Murderous Intention's

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the Naruto charater's, I did come up with a buncha the name's though. And I also don't own any music, so.....shyea

Naruto is AWSOMENEZZ... time for story.....whaaa, I won't get to put Shikamaru in the story untill chapter (start's counting planned schedule).... CHAPTER 12 OR 13! OH NOEZ!

Anywayz, time for the stooooooooooooory, (P.S. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO JOIN MY GIVCHOJISUMLUVCLUB ON DEVIANT ART REVIEW AND TELL ME SO SO I CAN LINK YOU TO IT! PLEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ IM DESPERATE!...OH! AND I DON'T OWN DEVIANT ART EITHER!)

Another note: I was livid, I would have posted this WAY sooner if I hadn't forgotten the stupid lyric's to the last song in this chapter.(which birthed two really emo fan fic's by mwah) but then, of course, the over all reason for this being late is a combination of forgotten lyric's, lazyness, busyness, sleepingness. and me-makeing-five-fanfics-at-once-nezz. XP if you read my fiction's made out of pissy depression, I'm sorry (They are a OrochimaruXAnko fiction called 'Just You And Me My Love' and a SasoDei (I like saying that XD) fiction 'If You Could Feel Alive')

--------------------------------------------------------Chapter 2: Murderous Intention's

I feel the bump on the back of my head as I try and struggle out of the covor's, suddenly praying for a lock on my door for the first time in my life. Jiraiya stand's next to me with the pan's he banged together to wake me in his hand's, still his same goofy grin on his face.

"What time is it?" I moan,

"Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum......" He 'uhz' for a while, "..... five-thirty!"

"WHAT!?" I scream, looking at the clock on the wall show's him to be right, "DO YOU ALWAY'S WAKE UP THIS EARLY?!"

"Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no," He finishes, must still be on a coffee high, oh how I'll alway's dread shopping _night_,

".... Then why start now?"

"I'm not! I just wanted to wake you up!"

"Becaaause?" I copy slightly,

"....You looked so cute sleeping!" He smile's bigger (didn't know _that_ was possible) I look down and notice a extra blanket that wasn't there before, yup. I wanna lock on my door, "BREAKFAST!" He scream's,

I stare at him a little, "What's for it?"

"....Ramen! but the cafe doesn't open till' seven," I fail at fighting a smile,

"Lunch?"

"Ramen,"

"Dinner?"

"Ramen,"

" ALL SNACK'S IN-BETWEEN!?"

"RAMEN!"

"YAY'S!" I jump up and we do a little dance around the room, tangoing and square and what I kinda hoped was the jig. He luckily danced himself out the room and shut the door, which I breathed a sigh of relief had a lock. I danced around a little more and landed in the computer chair, I didn't bring any school supplie's hopeing for a no-homework excuse, but what he had on the desk seemed like everything I would need. Oh well, I'd have to thank him after he calmed down, I might have to do homework right away but who doesn't get excited over free new stuff?

I turned the computer on, it was surpriseingly high-tech for such a tiny place, and I started wondering where the hell this guy get's all the money from. Logging on I made my account and was glad to find internet. Suddenly feeling extreamly bored, I logged on to my DeviantArt account, I felt pathetic doing it but I checked my friend's list to see if anyone was on, _UchihaHeir667_ was the only one on, can you guess who that is?

I sent him a random note that just had alot of text-talk and all caps, 'HI SAS-GAY! MEZ STALKYING UZ!' like usual, his reply was the expected 'And I thought I'd have gotten rid of you here,' I countered with 'I am teh lukyzt gal in teh wrld! lol. And, do u evr sleep?' adding a 'poke' emoticon at the end,

'Not untill I know you won't burst in and sick the fangirl's on me,' He put's the tackle emoticon at the end, I reply 'We only man handle u in gym Sas-gay- wait wer u tlking bout teh galz?' adding the hump emoticon, after a couple minute's of no reply I check and see that he logged off, I pout like someone's watching.

Turning. I notice Jiraiya standing on the building next to me looking through the window, I stare wide-eyed and walk slowly toward's the window, "Whut are you doing's?" I say, forgetting for a second that I'm not on the computer,

"Nuh-ten," He replie's

".....Okay's,"

"Was that your girlfriend?"

"No, it was a guy from my orpha-"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH....." He stretch's for a creepily long amount of time, " Your _boyfirend?_"

"What!?!" I yell going wide-eyed again, I swear this guy make's _ME_ feel mature,

"Have you kissed yet?"

"NO- I MEAN OF COURSE NOT!" Well, there _was_ that one time where I was standing on top of his desk and the guy infront of him through his arm back.... "_UGH! WHY THE HECK DOE'S SASUKE'S MOUTH TASTE LIKE TOMATOE'S AND LEMON'S!?"_ I look at him and notice him stareing.... I was thinking out-loud again wasn't I? okay yeah, strike that last 'mature' comment.... Why _does_ his mouth taste like tomatoe's and lemon's?... Seeing Jiraiya still stareing out me with the same weirded-out expression I must give him, I slam the window shut with unintended force, cracking the side of it,

Jiraiya mouth's 'Your fixing that,' from the other side of the glass. I turn, nowing I didn't have any duck tape (which can solve every problem a man can have) I dig through the school supply's and find clear tape, I open the window and tape both side's of the crack, I shut it softly and make a mental note not to slam it again. I stare at the ugly tape and crack mark's and dig through my duffle bag I through under the bed, Sasuke had snuck every joke poster I ever gave him into my bag, so I put up the Britney Spear's 'Womanizer' poster I gave him last valentine's day, I'll stick it to his head next time I see him,

------Breakfast

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN yum-yum, ex di! anyway. Jiraiya took me down to the cafe part of the building and treated me to THE BESTEST RAMEN I'VE EVER SET TOUNGE ON!

"Yum-yum! for tum-tum!" I coo after I'm done with my third bowl,

"Wow, I'm glad old' Jiraiya agreed to take you in! your good for business kid!" Teuchi the owner said to me,

"I am too!" I turn to Jiraiya who's flirting with a girl at one of the table's "... Please sir, may I have some more?" I call to him holding my bowl up to his face,

"Huh? yea yea sure kid," He throw's a money clip at me with about three-hundred dollar's or more,

"Got change for a fifty?"

"Yes sir!" Teuchi take's it and hand's me another bowl,

"Can I have it all back in quarter's?"

"Well sure! Ayame! Get me the quarter jar! and count out forty-seven dollar's worth!" Ayame the waitress poke's her head around the corner and give's her father a wide-eyed look, before finally going to do as he say's,

I wondered...Hmmmmm, "Hey, Teuchi? can I ask ya somethin?"

"Sure, what is it?" He lean's over the counter to get closer,

"Well, I was wondering, I've just met Jiraiya and he doesn't seem like the 'work n' save' type, where's he get all the money from?"

He smile's about as big and Jiraiya himself doe's, "He's an author,"

"Of what?" Of the Dummiez guide to qualifying for free Dummiez book's perhap's?

"Hee, _adult_ novel's mostly, he has a few-_heheh_- adventure novel's, but he's most famous for his _Make-out_ serie's," Teuchi jerk's his head forward after his daughter hit's him in the back of the head,

"Personally, I like his 'Tale's of a Gutsy Ninja' " She add's as she give's be a bag full of around one-hundred and eighty-somethin' quarter's

"AH YES!" He yell's from the stool beside me, "MY FIRST WORK! Where the cocky ninja Naruto goe's on numerous adventure's to help his village thrive eliminateing all hate from the horrid way's of a ninja life, driven on nothing but faith, love, and the BELIEVEITY of his pure heart,"

"Naruto?" I look at him puzzled,

"Oh yeaaaaaaaaah, your father loved my book _so_ much that he named you after the lead character. Guess that slipped my mind!" He laugh's and try's and use his speech as a pick up line on the girl to the right of me, 'Believeity isn't a word' was her reply. He walked back to his stool in a depression. "...But yeah, he said he wanted his son to be just like him,"

I looked down to my half-empty ramen bowl and thought again (such a terrible habit really) "How'd you come up with the name?"

"Hm? while eating a bowl of ramen," I fall out of my chair, but anyway. On a stupid fluff note, I felt in my heart I had accomplished what my dad wanted... Okay yeah that sounded gayer then I thought it would,

-------7:30

I had spent the time before breakfast makeing my school bag, which I discovored was funner then when you have to help kindergardener's with their's too. Jiraiya seemed to be comeing off his coffee high, so all I had to do was take my frog change purse (that I like to call Gama-Chan!) and fill it with as many quarter's as I could. I through the rest under my bed for a refill later, and gave Jiraiya back the remaining two-hundred and fifty. "What are the odd's of a teenage boy getting raped on his way to school here?"

"Three to one thousand and two hundred," Jiraiya replied, "Why, you gonna walk?"

"I'm bored stiff,"

"Look at some porn, that's what I do,"

"That just make's you _stiffer_,"

"Shut up you cocky son of a witch," I laugh but go back to my room,

On DeviantArt I posted my journal of what was going on, I immediantly got about a thousand 'WTF DUDEZ!?' and Sasuke replied again,

'You really want people all over the world to know that loser?'

'I wuzn gna say "I OKZ WNT B PSTING 4 AWHLE IM IN A EMO FIT" '

'Well try not and say "Hi, I killed a guy and got away with it," '

'... DID U NO I WUZ NAMED AFTER A NINJAZ!?'

'.....I was named after my great-grandpa, whip-di-doo,'

'U like getn whipd dnt cha?'

'Just don't humiliate yourself too bad, got it loser? they'll track you back to me just in time for me to submit my collage paper's.'

'Y!.... Itz makn me moar poplr cuz :LoveGunnerMoonGoddes~: givd ME a pep tlk!'

'... She never comment's any of my journal's,'

'ROFLMAO!!!!! U got pwnd! hay! mayB cuz ur emo!'

I then sent him a link to Charlie the Unicorn and put 'This is you' at the end. He replied with 'This is you and Kiba,' and shortly after posted a picture that he must of drawn in about ten second's with one of Konohamaru's crayon's. It was a dog humping a red unicorn that was probably supposed to be me as the red guy in the Charlie the Unicorn video's. I replied with the erie 'Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie' call,

I turn on my Ipod and turn it to the half the max again, the screaming was being quiet (yea that's right I hear it all the time, I'm just not EMO about it!) I just wanted to listen to music and kill some time, I cursed (probably really loud too, I couldn't tell) when I pressed the wrong button and deleted the song that was playing, I'll re-add it later. I just picked the one next to it and beat myself up for deleteing one of my favorite song's

_Lie-lie-lie-lie-la-lie, lie-lie-lie-la-lie_

_Lie-lie-lie-lie-la-lie, lie-lie-lie-la-lie_

_Lie-lie-lie-lie-la-lie, lie-lie-lie-la-lie_

_Lie-lie-lie-lie-la-lie, lie-lie-lie-la-lie_

_She say's good-bye_

_I alway's figured that this would happen in the twilight_

_I say good-bye_

_Even though she'll alway's be the image of a actress in my eye's_

_I say good-bye_

_And she cry-cried, cry-cried, cry-cried,_

_Lie, lie, lie,_

_and I cry-cried, cry-cried, cry-cried,_

_Cry-cry-cry_

_I'm such a lyiar,_

_Lie-la-lie-lie-la-lie-lie._

_Lie-lie-lie-lie-la-lie, lie-lie-lie-la-lie_

_Lie-lie-lie-lie-la-lie, lie-lie-lie-la-lie_

"Shit," I open my eye's and look at the clock, if it wern't for the music I wouldn't of noticed that I'd passed out. Luckily the clock read eight-forty five. I picked up my stuff and left the room,

"I was wondering how long you were gonna jerk yourself for in there," Jiraiya still held his spot in the chair closest to the TV. I looked over to what was on and he apparently had the all-porn network, I'd have to check that out sometime, "Hee-hee, I'm doing 'research' " He smiled,

"I see that, I'll be sure not to bring any friend's over,"

"It switch's to guy-on-guy from five to eight, so that's the best time for company,"

"Got it.." I started out the door but twirled around after it registered, "I fell asleep!"

"I do too sometime's, it's natural," His maniac laugh echoed of the wall's and I headed down the step's as fast as I could,

I got outside and realized I had no idea where the nearest bus stop was, _or_ where the heck the school itself was. I contemplated trying to act like a tourist and ask somebody direction's in a weird accent, but remembered I looked like an amarican whom are supposed to be smart, ah' well, I'll just play the dumb kid act. Not like whoever I'm gonna ask will become a aquantance, I decided to walk up to the hottest chick on the street, an' try to make somethin' outta bein' stoopid, dhur.

"Ello' mate," Okay that was unintentional, but I've already decided on the idiot native act. "I was justa wonderin' if you might know which way the school was?" I smile as big and innocently as I could,

"I knew I should of checked that tiny box for free carpool," She moaned turning, she had the biggest boob's I've ever seen, with blonde hair and pretty as brown eye's are allowed to be according to the tabloid's. Then there was the diamond on her forehead... And the boob's..... Is she wearing a bra?

"Erm, uh, right, the school please body- I mean boo- I mean baby- I mean lady-isous" Okay maybe I should just shut up now,

"Ugh, another perverted child," She whined, "Yeah kid, follow me I'm heading that way,"

"Okay's," I said, still stareing wide-eyed at her chest,

So, of course a couple of minute's later I was doomed for "Will you stop gawking at my damned breast's already?!"

"F- I mean n- I mean sure damn babe..." Wait, what did just I say?

"Oh my gee, ae, doubleya di," She whine's again... Why am I gettin all hot n' bothered?

"Boobie,"

"Will you shut up!?!?" She yell's in my ear, ha ha, I still got my plu- hey! my ear phone's! "SHUT UP!!!"

"Huh? oh, yea, sorry,"

"Gah," She gag's and stomp's ahead of me slightly. Geez she's gotta nice ass,

-----------Namikaze School's

We got there and it was worse then my old school, this one had chain link fence's disquised as tall hedge's. I started toward's the school, honestly scared to talk to the lady again who... was... walking... next to me?

"Hello?"

"What? I told you I was heading here," She snap's,

"You.... a.... teacher?"

"No,"

"Secratery?"

"Nope,"

"Janitor?"

"_Close,_"

I started to think of hot lunch lady but I couldn't imagine her with a dirty apron spitting in kid's food... Well, maybe the spit part.... And I've already thought of her in a maid's costume,

"Uhhhh, I got nothin," I lie,

"Nevermind, you'll learn soon enough, I'm _sure_." She growl's "Speaking of occupation's. You should make your way to the Principal's office," She said, walking immidiantly to the left as she talked. I looked up at a map and went to the right

---------Principal's office,

I knocked on the door, MY WAY! three fast knock's and then two slow one's!

"Come in," I heard the voice on the other side answer,

I open the door and see the cranky hot blonde again,

"..... I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE CLOSE TO THE JANITOR!?"

"I am, I clean up the _worse_ of the _trash,_"

"BUT YOU WENT A DIFFRENT WAY!" I screamed, what is she a double personalitied witch?

"Short-cut,"

"DHAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" I yell, I stand there in the doorway for a while,

"....You gonna move? I made you pretty late with all those threat's on the way,"

"...... _YEA,"_ I moan with my mouth hanging open,

"Nice to meet you Naruto Uzumaki, I'm principal Tsunade Senju. I'm sure we'll be _good_ friend's.... Sorry, school board say's I need to say that to all newbie's," She smile's deviously,

This is gonna be a _looooong_ insert amount of time it take's a school of teenager's to forget that one of their fellow teen's killed a guy and got away with it,

-------Math

Yay, I start with math, as usual, I feel so _UN-UNORDINARY_

"Hello Naruto," The pretty, luckily adverage-chested teacher greeted me, "I'm Kurenai Yuhi, I hope you have a nice time here," Yup, musta heard my story, no math teacher in this world is as nice as that (No really, and History's are the _worst_, Science's are either cool or insane, or sometime's pervert's. An- okay I'm getting off track)

I walk to the open seat, she definitly knew my story since she didn't make me introduce myself. I sat down, got situatied, and tried to remember what the last thing I learned in math was.

_"Ow,"_ Something slap's the back of my head, I turn around and there's a slightly creepy-looking flat-chested girl with light green hair and spooky red eye's. She looked albino. I turned back and ignored it. She did it again and I snapped back, she giggled like I was a crystal she just found. I looked at the teacher, who looked at us and then slowly away,

"_Please be good Fuu,_" She whispered almost too quiet for me too hear,

---------------Gym

Thankfully the girl had stopped smacking me after that, and when the class was out she skipped past me stopping only to twirl around halfway down the hall.

Gym, not a single good memory I can think about this class. Back in elementry when me and Sasuke took it together he would alway's beat me, rope climbing, jogging, and even dodge ball (and we were alway's on the _same team_)

" _ATTENTION ALL YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE GRAIN'S OF RICE!_" I looked behind me and the guy that was apparently the coach started blowing his whistle, he was wearing black sweatpant's and a red lettermen jacket, he also had his red hair in a pony tail that made him look like a chicken. I just remember thinking that at least Coach Guy was nice about working his student's to death. He inhailed and blew hard once again "_DOOOOOOOODGEBAAAAAAAAAAALL!!!_" Didn't I just get done with my explanation about this!?

_THONK_

I whirled around and the girl was there _again_, Fuu was her name huh? well I'm gonna fuu-up her face righ- wait, right she's a girl, yeah. I think that was caused by the lack-o- _THONK!_

She hit me in the face, okay forget it "OKAY YOU LITTLE SMART ASS!" I yell at her, she just laughed again "You. Are. So. DEAD! I DON'T CARE THAT YOUR A GIRL! I'M GONNA-" She went to throw another at me, I hurried and picked up a ball and through it to where it pounced the ball away, it ironicly came back and I aimed for her _head_ this time.

But, we all know my luck right? she of course dodged it, acted like nothin' and just bent over and it whizzed over her head, hitting someone else,

It seemed like everybody froze, even the girl stood up straight and covered her mouth in sheer shock, two kid's that were talking to him seemed to freak out and started backing away. The guy himself turned around, he has spiked red hair with ring's around his super scarey unearthly green eye's and a red kanji on his forehead. I backed away slowly too,

Let's see, the following was- he came after me, we fought, I got a few good punches in, he got a few more, the coach ran over, and instead of pulling us off of eachother just watched and danced around like a rampageing monkey,

--------Nurse's office

Yeah that's right, we beat the shit outta eachother (I'm pretty sure I was taller then him too) This school was big enough to have two nurse's office's. So we were seperated, I was kinda glad I didn't black out like the other time's, I felt my self go that way for a minute but then I got a nice sense-returning conk to the head,

The nurse pulled the curtain around my bed back, the office might of looked the same as the one in my last school, but the nurse sure didn't. Shizune was in her late twenty's and wore something from her collection of mulit-colored scrub's and a pair of sweat-pant's with the previously commented on worried-happy smile. This girl wore the kind of nurse's outfit you saw in porno's, with the hat and everything, and if it wern't for the mirror behind her I wouldn't of known of the shape I was in that would make even Sasuke wince at the sight of, where as this girl smiled big and walked over to my side, she looked no older then eighteen, "HELLO!" She bursted giddily

"...Ai," I moaned, not being to talk right with my swollen jaw

"How are we today?" She bursted just as happily as before,

"....Peasy,"

"GOOD!" She said, I saw a kid who looked like he had a soccor injury limp outta the room, the girl's expression changed to annoyed, " So you picked a fight with Gaara huh?"

"...'Ell yea," I moaned, if it wern't me saying it, I would of laughed at the poor sap,

"YOU!" The door burst open and the nurse went back to her happy version and stood up straight, Tsuande, my favorite principal stomped her way inside, "Naruto Uzumaki, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE _THE_ NEW STUDENT?!" She yelled in my face,

"....Wha?"

"I HAD TWO NEW STUDENT'S COMEING TODAY! I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO BEAT UP A GIRL! _NOT_ THE ONE THAT KILLED SOMEONE!" The nurse girl's expression went to a li'l surprised slash embarressed.

I looked at her, " An you igured ou the corresion-"

"... When the other one was sent to my office after being an hour late and beating up a girl that invited her to a sleep-over," She groaned,

"....Okay, an?" She seemed to regain her composure and straightened up, she paused and looked at me sternly and- okay here come the porn outfit's again (And the nurse girl isn't helping)

"...I was gonna suggest you joined the 'recovering demon's club' " She said like her sentance wasn't wacky,

"....Wha?"

" I'm glad you were working today Yugito," She pulled her head up to the nurse, "I was hopeing you could help him along,"

Yugito, her name was, looked at Tsuande with a weirded out expression, but the end's of her mouth still stuck up at the end's, "...Sure, got it..."

Tsunade bent down to me, "It's a club that consist's of children that have experianced thing's similar to what you have," She said, I started to like her more, "I didn't want someone like you to be all alone here so soon after something like that," Her pity didn't seem to effect me in a bad way where I felt like a baby, I was almost greatful for some reason, Tsunade walked slowly out of the room only turning to smile at me and give a assuring look to the nurse,

When she was gone Yugito looked down at me with a calm blank expression, and tried again "So you kicked Gaara's ass?"

"Ell' yea," She rolled her eye's and smiled for real looking at the door with a hopeful expression,

------After school (Club activity's time)

"So your insane too?" I asked as I limped next to Yugito, she didn't seem wacky, but I guess I don't either,

"Yup," She said, there was even a skip in her step.

"How many other's?" The doctor's said they couldn't figure out what caused my outburst's.

"Well, your the ninth member of the club....Yup," She wasn't very informative though, _cute_, still wearing the nurse's uniform with hat and all. Her green hair reached to the bottom of her back. She wore red lipstick and was so tall I probably could have passed as her son... Or maybe I was just short, ex pi,

My cheek still felt swollen, I probably didn't look too hot either. Passing a trophy case I was surprised to see that I looked decent, I turned back to Yugito, "What you in for?"

"I have a temper... sometime's," She said,

"Sometime's? you seem fine right now,"

"I take alot of medication.... _alot_ of medication... Yurp," we continued to walk in silence.... A junkie in a nurse's costume.... geez, my mind sure is in the gutter today. Proabably Jiraiya's fault,

------Inside Recovering Demon's Club (RDC) meeting room,

"HIIII GUY'S!" Yugito yelled with her arm's in the air. The room was dark with a single ceiling light in the center of a bunch of chair's. Reminded me of a AA meeting. I wasn't _tottaly_ surprised to see Gaara there, bandages around his arm, leg and forehead. That guy was brutal,

Also in the room was a giant indian-lookin guy who also looked like he'd gotten in a fight today. He had goggle's and wore a bandana around his head like he was a rap star. I almost shrieked when I saw the scary girl, '_Fuu' _who had been the start of the whole fight. There was also a kid who looked about Konohamaru's age, and a hippie-like guy. I also saw the Gym teacher and a guy that towered over me so tall I thought he might be able to eat me. Or the really short kid,

"THIS IS THE R.D.C. CLUB NARUTO!!!" Yugito yelled in my ear, apparently feeling talkative now. I looked around the room and a small number of the group half-heartedly raised their hand's as a greeting.

"THIS IS YUGITO!" She screamed, pointing to herself,

The indian guy piped up. Singing an all-to-expected rap, "_That is Yugito, she was born in the ghe-eh-tto, shaken her booty she's as high as Mar-io, she doesn't care what you think of her hair, but with her attitude changein' you'll be runnin' yellin' DANG-EH-IT!"_

Hippie boy spoke, in a hippie-sounding tone, and almost emotionless "Translation, Yugito has a sort of multi personality disorder. But not as much of changeing from person to person, but just as in she has moodswing's." He said, he had long hair and narrow eye's, I couldn't help but notice that he had on a robe, with what looked like nothing under it, "But anyway, I'm Utakata, nice to meet you, I have a more distinct double personality-like problem,"

"_That guy's Tah-ka-ku!, he barely eat's any food, but if he change's mood's then it'll be yo' ass little dude, he like's to wear a dress, an' he's never gone on aress' but when he feel's like it he'll rip off ya' head!"_ The guy sang again, "_Where as my name is Ki-ra-bi but mah' homie's call me killer-bee, I try not to act to nastily but my body sometime's looses me, I swear I'll be good, when I'm with mah' nana and mah' pa, but when I leave the farm then I'm gonna cap-ah' pop in yo' ass-ah-ah-ah, WORD!'_" I suddenly felt a really strong feeling to walk away slowly,

Yugito raised her hand and pointed to my 'boxing buddie' "THAT'S GAARA! KILLER-BEE SING ABOUT GAARA!"

"_Gaara's a l-"_

_"_Killer, I swear my life to satan that if you sing one damn sentance about me I'll pop-ah cap-ah in yo' ass-ah, word?"

".... M'kay," He said, apparently understanding the 'fury'

"... FUU!!!" Yugito yelled,

"_Fuu's alway's happy cept' when she ain't, no one now's why but she can' remember her name, she came to the school, year's ago in the month-o-July, she seemed really chipper with a glint-in-her-eye, but then the boy's got all rude, and she got all livid, the rest of that day to her has alway's really vivid, the police hailed insanity, and the orphanage got all the puplicity, and Fuey-dear got all happily for some creepily reasony! now it might of repeated, once, twice, or thrice, but Fuu never faded, she's still our little pumpkin pie-ie-ie-ed!,_" Fuu smiled and waved at me giddily.... She still scare's the livin' crappa-outta-me-eh...Okay the rapping has to stop SOON!

"_Then there's the teach, his name is known Roshi, he like's to teach his gym class way more then overly, now he's a bit of a perv, but, that's, O-K, cause Roshi buy's me porn, so we all love em' anyway!_"

"He was buying you porn again?" Yugito asked, I thought she might've changed personality's again,

"Uhhhh,"

"....Why don't you ever buy me any porn huh!?" She whine's to 'Coachy-Roshi' (as I have now decided to call him)

".....Cuz I'm not walking in the Hither Adult Imporium and asking for PlayGirl!"

"Damn, you suck,"

"The chick suck's Yugi-To,"..... Oh my gosh! I just got that! wow, that's funny! two pun's in one! (I need to use that sometime)

"_And I'm sure y-_"

"Do. Not. Sing. About. Me. Kirabi," The short kid groaned,

"That's Yagura-Kun!" Yugito gleed,

"He was born middle-aged!" Fuu spoke for the first time, countering Yugito's enthusiasm,

"Ooooh," He groaned again, he sounded like a brittish brat, weird,

"GIVE A HAND FOR HAN!!" Yugito gestured to the hulking relative of Bigfoot,

"_Han's Kong's cousin, and brother of a bear, he's gentle but trust me he can eat, you, up, feet make deep, impression's on the earth, once he stepped on a kid and, he, got, hurt, Han ain't bad, and neither-are-feet, he could probably tame a lion, or care for a herd'ah sheep!"_

Han held one bulky hand up that was probably the size of my head. Waved, and set it down again to stare at the wall,

"....Hi," I said unsteadily, I almost adressed them all by name but the rap's made me think I'd make my word's ryhme, plus I could barley remember them myself,

"He's here cause he killed a guy!" Everybody started clapping, hand's-er, Han's hands made thunderous sound's that I almost was distracted from the clapping over a dead guy,

"....Self defense."

"That's how we all got off the hook," Coachy-Roshi teased (he's gonna hate me for calling him that, ex di!)

"Yeaaah... So," I brushed the weird introduction's off, "I'm... well... urm.... What do you guy's do here?" I said, my voice cracking embarresingly at the end,

The following was a barrage of word's that they thought they might of possibly done at one point,

"Vent?"

"I think we rant,"

"I just come cause the toilet's clean,"

"I meditate when no one is directly talking to me,"

"I imagine everyone in this room spontaneously combusting into flame's and dieing slowly,"

"I RAP DOG!"

"You rat dog?"

"SHUT UP!"

"Why AM I here?"

"Hhhmmmf"

"Interesting,"

"What doe's Camisado mean?"

"I like turkey,"

"I LIKE WAFFLE'S"

"I like mushrome's,"

"You would like mushrome's huh?"

"I eat children,"

"I eat baby's,"

"I'm Justin Timberlake!"

"Oh really?"

"Nah, but who can tell?"

"I DID MATT DAY-MAN!"

"Do you even know what he doe's?"

"ME!"

"OKAY!" I yell, everyone stop's and look's at me, "Umm, good enough. I sure the... 'comedic company' doe's help,"

"Comedic?"

"Is that the same as Camisado?"

"No, Comedic is him saying that we are a bunch of buffoon's"

"What's a buffoon?"

"DAMMIT FUU STOP POKEING ME!"

"SHUT UP!!!" I yell again, realizeing that I just told a room full of unstable teen's to shut up.... This is gonna be a long insert amount of time it t- okay I already did that one. Insert... um.... Eternity?

-------Later

Yugito had changed mood's again and apoligized for haveing gotten so crazy on my 'first day'. Gaara didn't seem to want to make eye-contact with me (or anyone if I'm not mistaken) and Fuu proceeded in poking me as 'Killer Bee' explained how he had gotten beat up while trieing to break up two girl's fighting about a sleep over,

And as I got home,

"How was yo' day?" Jiraiya asked when I got home,

"Hectic,"

"As innnnnnn?"

"I was 'persuaded' to join a club for insaniac's,"

"Is that a word,"

"A much as one as believeity is,"

"Shut up you dicky daughter of a dog of the female persuasion," I laughed, Jiraiya's a loon, I love him,

I got in my room and flopped on my bed. After a while a rolled off and crawled to the computer, checking my E-mail again,

Sasuke noted me, 'Naruto, you home yet?' It was from just a little bit ago, he'd still be on,

'yea, Y?'

'How was your first day in a big new school my brave little man?'

'sux, i wuz made 2 join a club 4 INSANIAC'S'

'Is that a word?'

'BELIEVE IT!'

'Okay, anyway, call Konhamaru soon, he's hogging the phone again,'

'k'z'

I got off, I decided to use the inside phone this time, I left the room (secretly wishing Jiraiya was too consumed in porn to notice me) and walked to the phone,

"What'cha doin?" He asked, I forgot about the 'Shonen love' hour's

"Nuh-ten"

"Kay's,"

I dialed the number holding it to my ear cause I knew Konohamaru. I would of sworn on my life that he picked up the phone before it started ringing,

"HINARUTOHOWYADOINIMISSEDYOUSODOESMOEGIANDUDONSASUKESUCKSWITHOUTYOUANDITSREAAAAAALLYBORINGHINARUTOHI!"

"Hi Kono,"

"HIIIII!!!"

The speaker button went off again, and again I imagined Iruka had sat next to him most of the time waiting with him, "Hello Naruto!" Iruka's voice almost confirmed my image. I also heard Kiba howling in the background, a thonk, from who I could guess was Shino who must of been next to him. Argueing from both annoying voice's confirmed that too,

"Hello Iruka, HIT HIM ONCE FOR ME SHINO!" I heard another thonk and then Kiba whineing,

"Sasuke! Sasuke! Naruto's on the phooone!" Konohamaru cheered, like he couldn't probably tell from all the commotion. Speaking of commotion I turned to Jiraiya who could apparently hear the voice's on the other side, he seemed to enjoy the G-rated entertainment, I was suddenly glad I had all the quarter's for 'private' conversation's.

"Hm-hm-pf," I regonized the signiture grunt of Sasuke,

"Hey Sasuke, Hi everybody, I'm gonna try and get all my homework done kay?"

"Do your homework before you call us Naruto!" I heard Iruka lecture,

"Yeah-yeah, see ya guy's."

"BYYYYYE NARUTOOO!" I heard Kiba yell, chattering and sqeel's signaled the other kid's saying their goodbye, I hung up short again, then imagineing Kiba whineing 'He hung up on us!'

"I like you friend's!" Jiraiya boasted,

"Uh-huh,"

"Which one doe's the goonie's dance?"

"The last guy got a home, now it's the howling one,"

"And Sasuke's your hubbie?!"

"..... I didn't think you had a attention span long enough to remember that,"

"Today was nothing but re-run's,"

".....I like you,"

"Thank's," He smiled the smile again and I walked to my room again, "Dinner's at eight!"

"I'll be there!" I hailed, all Yugito gave me for lunch in the nurse's office was a salad with honey-mustard once I could close my mouth. It was actually pretty good,

Homework was thankfully easy, a buncha stuff that I got a C on back home, and I thanked my old teacher's for alway's writeing correction's on them. I got back on and both Sasuke and Kiba (Username K9KaperO~Bonez ironicly) messaged me,

'YOU HUNG UP ON MEH!' Was Kiba,

And 'Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooser, must post a rose ~ on all the girl's on his watch list profile's or he'll get his ass kicked by ~SASUKE UCHIHA~ (All girl's must send to just one guy),' Sasuke love's sending me self-made tag's. I sent one to him and then to the few girl's on my list,

Which got me a much deserved 'NARUTO YOU JACKASS!' From Sakura, also known as 'LovelyCherryBlossomMaiden' (which I was never aware fit the needed username limit)

I turned off the computer and flopped onto my bed, (again) surprised my body didn't still ache from mine getting beat senseless today.

Now that I think about it, I seem to recover alot faster lately, I stubbed my toe so bad during court session's even Sasuke said I might've broken it, but it was perfectly fine when we got back. Even the cracked nail seemed back together,

----------Next day

Of course I fell asleep, I woke up at the perfect time of _eight-thirty_, I got up and walk out of my room. Jiraiya was also passed out, I took my school bag and asked Ayame for a to-go cup, I headed for the direction of the school hoping I might remember the way as I walked (Principal Tsuande kept me distracted the whole time there yesterday)

I through the cup in the trash-can, and was glad that a elderly woman came up to me and asked why I wasn't in school, I explained my bad directional skill's and she pointed out the way to the school, yay,

I walked up to the school right before the bell rang, got to my class and tried my luck again, Miss. Yuhi believed my story and didn't give me a tarty slip, I got to my seat and of course had Fuu flipping my hair around behind me. I didn't really care anymore, I was just glad that Miss. Yuhi praised me so much on my homework, even know I could tell she could tell it was cause I already did it once before,

Either way, I went to Gym, expecting my luck to change, but Coachy-Roshi had a diffrent (but not really better) Idea,

"Okay maggot's! because of our little 'incident' yesterday, I'm gonna have it so that fighting's allowed, NOW PAIR UP WITH WHO EVER PISSES YOU OFF THE MOST AND BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THEM! IT'S WRESTLEING TIME!!!!!!" Thankfully, Fuu jumped on my back without hesitation. She noogied me and tried pulling my pant's down and just about everyother maverick move that I've used on Sasuke that failed, I tried fruitlessly to mimick Sasuke's avoidingness,

Recess was next, I learned that two thing's. Albino girl's fight like hell and I share recess with Utakata and Yagura, 'The emotionless Ya-ya-twin's' I unleashed that nickname and Yagura chased me around with a giant stick he pulled out of no where. Uta' continued his mediateing with a slight smile on his face. I never figured out if it was the name or the torture,

One thing I noticed was that no one interacted with my 'fellower's' in Math people seemed afraid of Fuu, I also noticed that in the back of the room Han was sitting silently, and all the seat's surrounding him were empty. (I can't believe I didn't notice him before) In Gym Fuu only made contact with me and Gaara stood silently with two distressed-looking kid's that if it wern't for their expression's I would call his cronie's. All three ignored Roshi's 'wrestle' command, and for Coachy-Roshi no one talked to him either, just listened, and even back home with the crazy Coach Guy kid's would run up to him at the end of class and ask for tip's.

Recess of course had Yagura who was perviously sitting silently next to Uta' (ZOMG his name keeps makeing me think about Utah!), untill I teased them. Yagura chased me (ONLY ME!) and U-....ta-....ka-....ta, (....I'm just gonna fall him Uta') meditated the ENTIRE TIME, I also noticed afterward that there wasn't a single kid that was near them, and the one's who were near me that I knew heard the joke didn't laugh, chuckle, or even continue to talk. (And I KNOW it was funny!)

I entered the cafateria, there was plenty of noise, but the screaming wouldn't cease,

I turned the volume to the max on my Ipod, I noticed, again,

Gaara sat at a table, with the same two kid's from Gym. They sat close to him but seemed like it hurt them to. Gaara himself seemed to have just crushed a whole apple with his bare hand's

Yugito sat at a table with Killer Bee, I couldn't help but notice that both of them seemed to be gripping the table for dear life,

Uta' and Yagura were together again, sitting silently Uta' looked like he was in a diffrent world, and Yagura was scratching his arm so hard his finger's dripped with blood, and he glared at the wall like he was about to kill it,

Roshi sat at a table alone, not even with at teacher's table. I saw Kurenai Yuhi look at him depressingly and then her eye's led me to Fuu, who sat alone also, smileing as she ate her lunch but had something distanceing about her,

Han sat alone, not even eating, and a number of kid's stared at him

Damn it, I thought, that's the last thing I could hear myself think as the screaming became so unbareable that I almost broke the volume on the Ipod,

_I can't escape myself,_

_So many time's I've tried_

_But there's still rage inside_

_Somebody help me through this nightmare_

_I can't escape myself,_

_So what if you could see_

_The darkest side of me_

_Somebody help me tame_

_This animal I have beocme_

_And we believe, it's not the real me_

_Will somebody help me tame this animal_

_I can't escape this hell_

_So many time's I've lied_

_But there's still a feeling inside_

_Somebody save me from this nightmare_

_I can't control myself_

_So what if you could see_

_The darkest side of me_

_Somebody help me tame this _

_Animal I have become_

_So what if we believe_

_It's not the real me_

_Will somebody help me tame this_

_Animal I have become_

I smashed open the door and slammed a leg down on my chair, everybody watched as I slightly glared at each of them, the screaming still numbing my ear's

"What was that?" I gritted my teeth, not really sure myself why I was so angry,

"What was what?" Yugito said in a serious mood, sitting directly across from me. Her tone seemed to show she knew what I was talking about,

"At lunch,"

"Oh," She said, no longer having a point to an arguement,

"Each one of you seemed like you were in complete _agony_," I growled, "Is that what's gonna happen to me?"

"I hope not Naruto," I turned to Fuu who had the most innocent look in her eye that I've ever seen in someone over six,

"It's messed up,"

"What you gonna do about it?" Gaara growled back at me,

"...Change it.... I'm sure God didn't make this world so that so many people could just live in their own personal _hell_,"

"Thousand's of people die everyday, prematurely, Kinda make's one think he like's it," Yagura, who I knew now couldn't possibly be my age. Although he talked like a stubborn old man who lived through and fought in both war's,

"The people that die... Are the one's that are being saved..." I said remembering what Iruka said when I made a similar statement, "So that... they don't become _this_," Everyone seemed silent, like I was the voice saying these thing's in the back of their mind's that finally found his way out.

"Why do you care?" Gaara said it, but the face that Han made showed he wanted to say the same thing,

"...Cause I'm a monster too," I looked at Han who smiled for the I've known him, and as for Gaara. His eye's wern't the slightest bit mencing, for the first time-by the look of it- that any one's known him,

-------Later at Home

Okay, so I pulled another gay move at the club today, but it felt good,

And it made the screaming stop,

It was more of an annoying buzz right now, I got inside, and Jiraiya seemed to be jumping off the wall's

"HI NARUTO!" He screamed,

"....What...are .... you..... doing?"

"....Well...... F- no....... fffffffffood!"

".....Food what?'"

"....Urm..... I dunno, I'm hungry,"

"...The... Cafe?" I pointed downstair's

"...Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH," He rushed down, apparently getting a late lunch, I put down my bag and got three dollar's of quarter's

Ten minute's for the family, ten for Sasuke. And ten for goodbye's

"HIIII NARUTOOOO!" Konohamaru screamed, it rang once so he must have been in the bathroom,

"Hello Konohamaru,"

"HI!" Moegi said from somewhere next to him, speaker goe's on,

"Hey Naruto! how was your day?" Iruka said,

"....Weird... Then a little emo.... Gay .... and then Awsomeness,"

"Sound's like anal,"

"Kiba!" Iruka scolded him,

"What? no one get's it!" I turned around again and saw Jiraiya watching as he slurped a mega-sized ramen bowl... He'd still have dinner later, I knew him too well already,

"Hey Naruto," I heard Sasuke's voice, it can't be good if he's actually _puplicly, speakingly_ to _me-eh-e-_ Dammit! Killer-Bee!

"Hey... Sasuke..." I said, too suprised to hide my concerned weirded-outness,

"HIIIIIII NARUTOOOOOO!" Konohamaru screamed again,

"HEY NARUTO GUESS WHAT!?" Kiba yelled, I couldn't help but wonder if the same group assembled every night to await my call,

"I'm guessing what,"

"Iruka might've tracked down Kiba's mom!" Konohamaru gleed,

"You wouldn't _believe it,_ she say's she was looking for me but forgot _which orphanage she sent me too!"_

"Kiba... Your mom's such a bitch,"

"DAMMIT! SHUT UP OR SOME UP WITH A DIFFRENT GAG!"

"Kiba! Naruto!" Iruka scolded again,

"Can I talk to Sasuke? _privately_?"

"Uh-huh! sure Naruto!" Konohamaru pressed speaker off button and gave it to Sasuke (I know he did it cause he alway's presses a long time to make sure it registered)

"Hey Sas,"

"Hm,"

"What's the matter? lose your cutting knife?"

"Shish," The way he talked I could tell he was gritting his teeth,

"What's _wrooong_?" I urged,

"Nothing,"

"Then what'cha pissin' about?"

"Day,"

"Oh yeah? well I had to give the gayest recorded pep-talk to a room full of self-and-others-distructive teen's,"

"....I think I found my brother," Okay, emotionally, that pretty much topped mine,

"Where,"

"In your town somewhere, I couldn't get a exact address but I have a big handful of lead's,"

"......Anything I can do?"

"Keep a look-out for someone who look's like me in five year's,"

"M'kay," I could have made a pun, but I was, _not_ in the mood to piss off an already emo Sasuke,

"...Naruto?"

"What?"

"...Promise you'll take care of yourself," Sasuke might of only been older then me by three month's. But he alway's watched out for me, I guess I never thought about how much he thought I'd screw up (again)

"....Promise,"

"...Pinky promise?" I could tell he was cracking a smile, trying to keep this moment only mid-gay,

"Pinky-inky sweet fairy-dusty and angel-lashes swear on my booooootifal heart!" I chant like a five-year-old girl,

"Night Naruto," He said fighting either a laugh or a bigger grin,

"Night," He handed the phone back to the other's who put it back on speaker phone. It must've been his face that caused five-minute's of 'Whut wuz taht about!?Z'

Konohamaru and everybody finally let me hang up, I walked out of the booth and saw Jiraiya boredly pressing his face agenst the glass,

I brought up Sasuke's Ipod to my face, went to the shop and got the song I deleted yesterday.... Okay three gay moment's in a day isn't good for me... But I still hold it to my chest,

_The flowing tear's quietly tell me_

_About the end of something_

_In the blue sky I looked up to from between the cloud's_

_Certainly there's no such thing as rain that won't stop_

_No rain no rainbow I gently_

_Wipe the dripping water away from my eye's_

_Before I know it, the rain's stopped_

_Silence envlope's me_

_The rainbow arch has appered_

_So that I'll say something_

_No rain no rainbow-bow-bow-bow_

_The sadness will clear up one day_

_Uh, Ah, the thing that I saw to make me weep all day long_

_Was the light that dye's my heart in rainbow color's_

_It might all be just for nothing_

_I've thought that so many time's_

_I've sacrificed everything_

_And I've thought about giving up_

_But instead of living life to someone else_

_As to what I can't do it_

_If I can do it, then even though it might be awkward_

_I should go up agenst it in my own way_

_Everyone is carrying pain around with them_

_Certainly right now, we're testing tested_

_Even on those sleepless night's, stand firm and endure_

_Endure even in painful situation's_

_Because those day's will make you stronger_

_It pierce's through a crack in the cloud's so brightly_

_The light envelope's everything_

_Certainly there's no such thing as rain that won't stop_

_Inside my wounded heart_

_A bright rainbow is out_

_Yes. everything will start from here_

_It will clear up one day, no rain no rainbow_

_In order to rescue myself from this monochrome world world_

_I'm going to dab in some rainbow color's without makeing a sound._

-----------------------

That's the song... I've now put it on my fridge....

the song that drove me CRAZY..... I love it so much.... anyway (KAZOKU ROCKZ!)

yeaaaaaaaaaaaah..... This should have been posted way sooner (It could of been done DAY'S AGO....even thought it might be the longest chapter I've ever made) but anyway

I will now start a serie's of 'Bond's' chapter's, one chapter for each Jinchuriki host, (In order, so you can tell what the chapter's will be about).... Now to start on the chapter


	4. The SelfLoveing Monster

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, OR ELSE KAKASHI WOULDN'T OF DIED! WHAAAAA!... I also don't own any song's used in here, otherwise this would be PUBLISHED!

KAKASHI'S DEAD! WHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

.... but yeah, I thought both of the last two chapter's were long, chapter two (chapter one not including the prolouge) was listed as 23 KB on my computer.... the last chapter listed 30 more at 53 KB...... that's a record for ME the last time I remember even READING something that long was a HAMTARO fan fic filled with MARY-SUES and about MAXWELL AND SANDY ON A DATE! _AND IM PRETTY SURE THIS WAS STILL LONGER!_......

maybe it's just my laziness, but that was freakishly long... now for the first Bond's chapter,

------------------Chapter 3: The Self-loveing Monster

"NAAAAAAAAAAAAARUTOOOOOO!!!" Jiraiya banged on my door trieing to wake me up, "PHOOOOOOOOONE FOR YOOOOOOOOU!!!"

I lazily rolled off my bed, I was up super late last night. And if it wern't for me and Sasuke's conversation last night I probably wouldn't of gotten up. I pulled the door open (I'm not totally sure if my eye's are open right now, nothing seem's to be registering,) "...EEEELOOOWAHHH?" I yawned

"HIIIIIIIIIII NARUTOOOOOO!!!" Konohamaru's voice woke me up a little, my ear suddenly ached and I noticed I'd gone to bed without changeing again,

"What is it Kono?" I moaned,

"Are you comeing to my birthday tonight Naruto!?"

"WHAT!?" I looked at the calander, yup, it's his birthday, "S-Sorry Konohamaru it almost slipped my mind! why didn't you remind me last night?!"

"....It slipped my mind!" I groaned, this kid's my _clone_ or something, "Are you comeing!?"

"Huh? yea of course Kono, wouldn't miss it. I'll borrow some money and take a taxi,"

"Iruka say's we can go to a place there!"

I secretly groaned, I picked up a phonebook and kept pressing my hand down on page's untill it landed on a family restraunt, all the while moaning 'uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,' "mmmmm- Mr. Happy's Hunger House?"

"SOUND'S GREAT NARUTO! We'll pick you up at six!" He hung up before I could say anything. OF COURSE he talk's my ear off in the middle of the night but when we talk in the morning it's 'HI I'M GONNA MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL BYE!'.... What the heck is MISTER HAPPY'S!?

-----------Mr. Happy's Hunger House

"HELLO! WELCOME TO MISTER HAPPY'S! WE HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY UN-HUNGRY TIME!" The guy said, he wore a giant purple bear suit and a top hat with a red bow-tie. Oh geez I needa go _sight-seeing_ in this town or something.

Worst of all Sasuke wasn't even here, he got a foster home (which is actually good cause he'll have more computer time) Kiba used the old 'I needa make sure Shino doesn't have any party's' excuse. And I'm the one that came up with that one,

So it was just me, Iruka, and the great three children, (Konohamaru, Udon, and Moegi, or as Konohamaru call's themself's 'Konohamaru Ninja Squad' which came from mine telling them about my name orgin. Or maybe cause of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's. I dunno, but back to the torture)

"Hi, we're here for our li'l Konohamaru here's birthday!" Iruka said ruffleing Konohamaru's hair,

"Of course!" They led us to an area at our left, "Would you like the 'special kiddiez and treatz' area?" He said gestureing to the area the was crawling with screaming kid's and looked like hell on earth, confetti was everywhere and I could of swore there were a couple dad's crieing, "Or the 'quiet time big-kidz calmy-calm' room?" He pointed to our right and there was a less populated area that looked like it even had a few lone adult's in it. Me, Iruka, and even Moegi shook our head's rapidly

We sat down and I realized that the reason for the adult's here might have been the price's, there was a extra chocolate sundae for twenty-five cent's. Turning I saw that there were two guy's behind us, one was geared up like a biker and the other looked like he could be on parole for something.

"Wow, look at these price's! Kid's order whatever you want, Even if your not hungry we're taking leftover's home," Me and Konohamaru started nameing off everything we saw that sounded half-way good, luckily I hadn't eaten, our waitress came. All the waitresses were wearing hoop skirt's with glittery jewelery and nail-polish with neon pink lipstick and their hair in big pig-tail's, also large shoe's.

"Hi! what will the special boy be haveing today?!" The cheery fam...iliar....voice.... sa...sa....saaaaiiiiid.....

"Yugito!?"

"Naruto!?!?!?!" She blasted turning as pink as her lip's,

"You _work_ here!?"

"....I.... Have a part-time occupation." She said unsteadily,

"......That suck's!"

"Who's she Naruto!" Konohamaru exclaimed,

"A girl at my school, It's Konohamaru's birthday," I whispered in her ear "_I couldn't think of anyother place to go_" She nodded,

"Well! are we all ready yet?"

"We will in a minute, there's just so much on the list, thank you Yugito it was nice meeting you,"

"Thank you it's my pleasure, Oh! Naruto guess who else is here!" She said pointing to the booth behind her,

And, behind her, sat Gaara and his cronie's (Hey, I was gonna say it eventually!)

"....Iruka.... I'm gonna chat with my friend.... for... a ..... moment....." I got up and stumbled over too Gaara's table, "...Hi,"

"...Hi," Me and Gaara looked at eachother blankly for a moment untill I finally registered the tension comeing off his friend's,

"These guy's are?"

"My sibleing's,"

"Hi... I'm... Temari," The girl said, since she apparently knew I was from 'the club' she must have been decideing how unstable I was,

"I'm sane,"

"....M'kay,"

"Hey, I'm Kankuro,"

The girl settled into believeing my sanity, "He play's with doll's," The girl Temari wore a old fashioned pink housewife dress, with blonde hair in four pig-tail's and bright green eye's. The boy had a more modern ruffed-up look with a gray jersey and brown hair. Gaara wore a turtleneck and did his usual thing of leaning all over the table, Kankuro did simular as Temari sat straight with her hand's folded on her lap.... Weiiiiiird,

"What you guy's doin' _here_?" From the look of Temari's diamond choker they didn't seem tight on money

"Erm,"

"Kankuro, why _are_ we here?" Gaara moaned,

"Um, well.... I couldn't think of where else to go?"

".....Same here," We all stared at eachother for a minute and then I waved and returned to the table,

"Naruto!"

"Yes Kono?"

"How come you know so many pretty girl's?!" Konohamaru exclaimed, Temari and Yugito who was waiting on the table next to us giggled,

Kankuro piped up, "Sorry shrimp, you needa have a collage scolarship secured by five to get a hook on this girl," Temari kicked him from under the table. And I think Gaara might of almost possibly laughed persumably even though that might of maybe seemed impossibley improbable and kinda-sorta very much maybe unlikely (although I haven't known him that long)

"What the f---ing hell c---!? I said EXTRA SPRINKLE'S DAMMIT!"

"Go to hell!" Yugito was argueing with the parole guy, not good.

"Gaaraaa," Kankuro moaned looking at the ensueing fight, "Noooot goooood,"

"Yugito! chiiiildreeeen!" Temari tried to calm her,

"There's a stand with sprinkle packet's FIVE FEET AWAY get em' yourself!"

"If I was gonna f---in' get my own food then I'd of STAYED HOME DAMMIT!!" He yelled, The kid's found this entertaining. And I was amazed that a kid would scream everytime he swore, makeing the perfect censor,

"Hidan calm down!" Said the other guy, who sounded like he's been yelling at him alot lately "If you cause too much a commotion then we'll get kicked out and still have to pay!" He looked at Yugito, "I'm sorry miss, could we just have it for free then?"

"IT'S TWENTY-FIVE F---ING CENT'S YOU BOMBOUS PEA-BRAINED PENNY-PINCHER!"

"Excuse me? Well I'm afraid that that attitude won't get you any pleasant word's to the manager,"

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN YOU SWINEY F---- ---- --S!"

I got a plan, "Hey kid's! wanna take a quick visit to the other side?!" I said to Konohamaru's 'squad'

"Yeah kid's! I'll take you!" Temari jumped up and took their hand's and led them to the other side of the wall, she gave us a 'try not to get arrested' look,

_CRASH_

While I was worrying about Temari I soon noticed the bulky body of the potty-mouth guy being thrown through the window. Turning around, Yugito brushed her hand's off,

---Outside

The bikeing penny-pincher dragged the foul-mouth convict away without paying. Iruka tried to calm Yugito down who was only interested in saying sorry a thousand time's as she switched into a new mood. Kankuro stepped through the broken window to stand next to me, "Well that made my night, right?"

"Shyea," I said stareing as a van that looked simular to a gothic version of the Scooby-doo car zoomed over and picked the two up. Speeding away again,

"..... Soooo...... Your crazy?"

"Persumably, all that's been proven is that when under a large deal of stress I have a tendancy to burst into rage with incredible strength and kill people randomly... I also hear people screaming in my head,"

"....Really?"

".... Actually yes, it suck's ass,"

"Gaara has people talk to him," I turn to him, kinda zoned out by the incident to be surprised,

"....What do they sound like?"

"He didn't start talking about it till just yesterday," Oh my gawd so my gay pep-talk's WORK!? ".... He said it sound's like a texa's car salesman,"

"......Innnteresting..... I call mine Sue and Paul,"

"Heh, don't think I don't know what motivated him," He looked at me, "Your a regular monster-whisperer,"

"I am told that I have a pleasant Char-ezz-mah about me," I say standing streight acting like a dignified 'Chap'

"Heh, think you'd give me a few pointer's?" He said, sounding embarressingly serious, "I only met my baby brother yesterday,"

I look at him for a second, not really sure how to explain what I apparently do, "...Hm, I dunno, just, look the person in the eye, and, say what ya wanna say,"

"...Sound's annoyingly simple,"

"Guess it doe's to anti-social's,"

"Eyyy.... Ey," He pat's me on my shoulder and re-step's through the window. The lack 'o' noise brought Sue and Paul back,

_They say that_

_A hero will save us_

_Not gonna stand here and wait_

_I'll hold onto the wing's of the hero's_

_Watch as they all fly away_

_Someone told me_

_Love cannot save us_

_How could that be_

_Look what love made us_

_All the killing_

_And blood-spilling_

_Don't change me_

_They say that_

_A hero will save us_

_Not gonna stand here and wait_

_I'll hold onto the wing's of the hero's_

_Watch as they all fly away_

_And their watching us_

_Watching_

_Their watching us_

_Watching_

_As we all_

_Fly away,_

"Naruto!" Konohamaru's screech ripp's me out of my day dream's and silence's Sue n' Paul, "We get everything on the menu for free! come on we're gonna go home and celebrate!"

Yay,

Kiba.

-------Later

Kiba decided to tackle me the second he saw be walk inside. And Shino then helped me in beating him senseless after Iruka left the room, claming he inflicted the bruise's on himself. Which then led Kiba to introduceing me to his new dog, who I swear he had previously trained to bite me before I came. Nothing much happened afterward. Konohamaru and his friend's passed out from the excitement, Kiba became completely engrossed in playing with his mutt, and Shino was feeding the cake's to his ant's... Ew,

The taxi drove up, and Iruka saw me out as I yelled and made face's at Kiba through the window, "Naruto,"

"Hm, yea?"

" Take this," He handed me a paper with a phone number on it,

"Sasuke?"

"Yeah,"

"I feel like a cow, I didn't get Konohamaru anything,"

" All he wanted from you was for you to be there,"

"Not helping" I tried to joke, "... How's the school?"

"Kiba update's everyday, it seem's everyone's in the midst of gossip and that they think you've ran away to join the circus," He said smileing weakly,

"I have! really! tell them yes, have you not heard Jiraiya utter a sentance?" He laughed

"He seemed like a very... 'Cheery' man,"

" 'Cheery' 'Crazy' what's the dif? we all saw my girlfriend at Happy's,"

"Hm, I'm glad your makeing friend's Naruto,"

"Yeaaaah," I love Iruka but man is he boring me,

"I'll let you go now, " FINALLY!

"FINA-..al's will be great I'll ace em' " He gave me a stern look,

"Goodnight Naruto,"

"Goodnight really boring parody of a really boring scary movie that may or may not have something to do with bigfoot or anyother ledgendary creatuuuure,"

-----Ichiraku

_You alway's reached out to me_

_And helped me believe_

_All those memories we share_

_I will cherish everyone of them_

_The truth of it is there's a right way to live_

_And you showed me_

_So now you live on in the word's of a song_

_Your a melody_

_You stand here with me now_

"Get out" The cranky taxi driver groaned, why do I away's get the cranky one's?

I picked through my pocket's and made sure to take extra long to count it all out. He glared and sped off showering me with muddy water, at least I'll finally be sure to change tonight,

I slunked up the stair's secretly cocky about the worried glance Ayame gave me, I went inside and Jiraiya was hanging my the ceiling light,

"....Did we buy coffee today?"

"Nah, I just felt like this."

"...Innnteresting,"

"Have a nice time?"

"Splendidly,"

"Splen-did-diddily?"

"Splen-did-diddily d'oh!"

"YAY'S!"

"Do tha mango!"

"Hand me a screwdriver,"

I looked at him for a second trieing to register his seriousness, then walking under him and to the phone.

"Di-di-di-di-diddily-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-d'oh-d'oh," I sang waiting for the phone to pick up,

"Hellaow?" Somebody slurred angerly on the other end,

"Sasuke there?"

"...Chya-up, _SASUKE!!!!_" I pulled the phone away and waited for Sasuke's voice to come one,

"....Hmpf?"

"SASUKE! ow'ya doin?"

"Peaccum's"

"You mean it today, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE THEY MAKEING YOU WATCH BARNEY AND BRAIN-WASHING YOU TO BELIEVE YOUR FROM KENTUCKY!?"

"You need a brain to wash it, and as we all know you lost mine last summer,"

"I know what you did last summer,"

"I was looking for my brain in you shoebox, yea, Shino know's too, I stepped on a couple of his 'friend's' "

"MURDERER!"

"Oh oh CAN I TALK TO HIM!?" Jiraiya urged,

I stared at Jiraiya before warning Sasuke, "Jiraiya want's to talk to you, but be warned, I believe he's legally retarded,"

"ONLY in seven state's," He assure's before I hand him the phone,

"...Hi?"

"HELLO! sonny-puu! I just wanted to make sure that _you and my darling boy are useing protection,_" I attempted to grap the phone back but he swung himself higher onto the ceiling,

"JirAIYA!"

"Yeeeees Docter Nick?" I snatch the phone and he proceed's to swing around, being distracted by the spinning room,

"You still there?"

"No, this is Nancy Drew and she would like to inform you that Sir Jerk-oh-yeah has infact been deemed insane by all fifty-two state's includeing Canada and Russia.. Also that your true identity is Anastasia, the missing Von-Trap singer, now please proceed to put on a dress or your right thumb will get a hangnail tomarrow,"

"Yes miss!" I hang up on him, And imagine him sitting there for three minute's before he finally hang's up. I also imagined his foster in a maid suit for some unexplained reason.

_CRASH_

I almost imagined Yugito had crashed through the window untill I saw Jiraiya on the floor with the ceiling light still in his hand's.

"Ouchie's"

"Ouchie-diddily ouch-ouch?"

"Ouchie-diddily ouch-ouch-o-mighty,"

"....."

".... Are you really gay?"

".....Only in gym class,"

That night, I finally changed my clothe's and put on my night-cap (YES I WEAR A NIGHTCAP! IT LOOK'S LIKE A ANGRY FROG EATING MY HEAD! DON'T TEASE CAUSE IT TOOK SASUKE THREE YEAR'S TO GET THEM TO STOP LAST TIME!..... AND NO I DON'T HAVE A OBBESSION WITH FROG'S DAMMIT!) I put the number on the night-stand and put on some nice... Calm.... Parody music on,

_Yo check it out_

_I got a plan_

_Here's,_

_What I'm doin'_

_Those frat boy's at the club_

_Are lame_

_Let's start somethin'_

_It's just what_

_I'm used to_

_Just_

_Wanna screw it up_

_And your_

_What I'm gonna do_

_I kissed a boy_

_And I liked it_

_Got the honey's in the club excited_

_I kissed a boy_

_And I liked it_

_But homeboy was not about it_

----Next day

....

Hm,

I got a hangnail on my right thumb.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorryz for lateness, It's just that my house got robbed and then my mom wrecked our only car and we've been needing to take a bus to the library.... Also that Gaara isn't excactly my favorite and it got boring in the middle (which is why it's so short and is barely about him at all.... Temari had more fic-time then him....) anyvay,

PLZ DONT STOP READING! I LIKE YUGITO AND INTEND TO MAKE HER CHAPTER LONG, INTERESTING, RANDOM, AND JUST A LITTLE CORNY..... YAYZ!... I also believe I may be getting sick.....

During the election's, thousand's of people said that Barrack Obama would only become the president of the United State's when pig's fly,

Low and behold, 100 day's into his term, we have the swine flu

XD


	5. The Monster that Wasn't

DISCLAIMER: I am not Masashi Kishimoto, however I do think of Naruto as a close relative and rant alot.... XP

ONCE APON A TIME.... This happened

I was 4, wandered away from my dad cause I changed my mind on wanting to go with my mom to the bathroom. I didn't know which was which so I waited for someone to come out or go in. 15 minute's later my parent's found me standing next to the tornado shelter and the kitchen

More recently. My mother parked at the grocer's, The lady next to us got out of her car and yelled, "Park a little closer next time!" even though there was not only enough room for my mother to get out but she had parked on the passanger's side of the woman's car. We left the grocer later and found that she keyed the car. another time, at a diffrent place, there was once again enough room for my mother to get out of the car. And once again we were on the passanger's side of a VAN you know, the kind with door's in the BACK. none the less we returned to find a 'If you can't park it don't drive it' note on the windshield. My unstable drama-queen mother started crieing histericly and had to be comforted by a old woman that was around Chiyo's age,

And in other's new's. I resently watched the Bleach movie 'Memorie's of Nobody'

This chapter will include simular event's to the three I just explained to you... Without farther mindless chatter, the next Chapiterz (PS plz join my GivChojiSumLuvClub on deviant art.... also, I am in fact sick. med's taste horrid, and i know what Sah-sue-gay musta felt in episode 3.... ARGHHHHH!)... Did you know that Sasuke actually make's his first apperance sitting behind Naruto in chapter one of volume one, but wasn't offically introduced untill chapter 3? and also that Naruto and Sasuke's rivalry was first inspired by Sakuragi and Rukawa from Slam Dunk?.... I didn't spell their name's right did I?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter 4: The Monster that Wasn't

Nibbleing on my hangnail, I checked my E-mail's, Sasuke once again sent me a tag, 'Copy cat. This cat. Message cat. Two cats. All cats. Dumbass cat. Boy cat. S cat. Two cats. Keep cat. Them cats. Busy cat. Four cats. Fourty cats. Second cat. S cat. Now go back a read it without the cat/s word's and send it to your BEST FRIEND or ~SASUKE UCHIHA~ will kick your ass.'............ Hah! it only took me thirty second's... I think,

I changed my clothe's and made sure to throw a few jean's and shirt's on the floor to make it more homey, I walked out of the room and Jiraiya seemed to have kept his spot on the floor.

"Hiiiii," He moaned

"Hiiiiii," I replied,

"Ow' ya doin?"

"Fiiiiiine,"

"That's nice," He rolled around for a couple second's but didn't get up, I stepped over him to the bathroom, "_Down when you tinkle, up when you done. Congratulation's you just made a number one,_" He sang,

I grapped my bag and tip-toed out of the house without him seeing me, when I ran down the stair's he for some reason yelled 'Ramage butt monkey!'...... Ooooookay then,

----------------School

It was a hour before school started so I just sat on the bench eating my instant noodle's as the nerd's came in extra early for.... I dunno nerdy reason's... You may also be wondering why I came to school on a Sunday..... Well, in this area of this place of which I live only has Saturday's off..... Yeah, we also get to choose wether or not we take a Bible class, I don't because Iruka read it to me and the other's every night before we even started school... I remember..... nothing.... Except that if I get a wife who marry's after I die then she'll not be my wife in heaven unless we want too... I think that was it.... And I've alway's had a phobia of Sasuke seducing my future wife and my middle-aged day's being like a Lifetime movie and I'm sorry I'm going _reaaaaaal_ off-track again arn't I?

"Hi hi!"

"Fu-ie?" I slirp-mumbled as Fuu-fuu skipped up and slammed her butt down next to me, "Uhtter you doin' her' ssous errly's?"

She leaned in to whisper "To keep from helping the tot's get ready," I nodded knowing me Sasuke and Kiba have tried the same before... Alway's got caught though,

"THERE YA ARE NARUTO MAH HOME-BOY'S!" Looking up Killer Bee trotted up to us, all the kid's around him ran, screamed, and just plain ducked out of his way, "How are we this fine evenin'?"

"....Peacher's,"

"I needed to talk tah ya bout's somethin," He said leaning down to us,

"What is it Killer?" Fuu asked,

"You know! Change-a of zee drugs-bay! ya' fool!"

"Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH," Fuu's head snapped back to me like a demon in a possesed christan girl.... I need to go to the bathroom now, "Yugi change's her medication today,"

"And?"

"_Now ya know I said befro' that Yugi's drugged likah ho, but when somethin' with more effectivness that keep's less people yellin' DANG-EH-IT Hen-she-takes-et!!! Now when she change's her drug's, then we get THREE STEP'S! Untill our Yugito is back to har SELF-NEZ!!_"

Fuu chanted the number's makeing a mini-concert with him "ONE!"

"_Is where she's ditzy-di-di-deh-di-di-deh, and looney an' loopy' and need's special attentiony!"_

"TWO!" Fuu began pulling out piece's of paper with the number's on them,

"_Is where It stopp's, so eva body' should drop! Cause she'll lose her temper and her face'll get all hot!"_

"THREEEEE!"

"_Is tha' end, her personality's they will bend! Yugito'll go ka-bonker's unless attended by the 'chuoffer's'_ "

I stared silently slirping my noodle's, Fuu and Kirabi held their position in a hand's-up state, smileing creepily at me with wide eye's....Is that a tattoo on Kirabi's face!? (I mean, last I saw him it was bandaged up but...HOW OLD IS HE?!)

".....Yah' still there Nah-rah-toe?" Kirabi asked,

"....Not totally,"

-----Later

Okay, so, I guess they kinda put me in charge of watching Yugito on the first day, cause they gave me her class list, bathroom break agenda, and the likelyness of her pooping, giveing me a break...... Why am I in this club again? oh, right, cause I killed a guy..... Walking away,

Even with my attention span, I couldn't help but notice that all of Yugito's classes were placed as far as can be from my classes..... Yay's,

Alas, I just entered my Math class, Kurenai seemed extra chippy today and Fuu smiled hugely as I sat down, she tapped my shoulder,

"Naru, You'll need to check on Yugi in about fifteen minute's," She said, Last time I was called Naru was when I was six and Sasuke was trieing to help me face my fear of height's, you know the world's children are going in the gutter when kindergardener's call you gay untill it scar's you for life.... I'm sorry I was flashbacking what was I talking about again?

---------Later

Hmm..... What is Kurenai saying? Blah, blah, blah, nappy-poo equal's natto?..... I'm tired,

Fuu's been pokeing me hurridley for a while now, I guess it must be time for me to go see Yugito. I pull my arm up, "Miss. Yuhi?"

"Yes Naruto?" She say's sweetly,

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"Of course Naruto," She hand's me a hall pass on the way out and I waddle out.

The first hall moniter I ran into was ironicly Yagura, "Ey short-stuff,"

"Hmpf, Naruto, they tell me your Yugito's watch?" He snuff's like he's got a rat stuck up his butt, I glare a little

"Shyea, what of it?"

"Your late, Yugito could be across town by now," I stare at him a little.... I continue down the hall and he stop's me holding his hand out for my pass, I slap it into his hand and I glare,

"If your so worried about Yugito's well-being why are you stalling me?" I grumble

"I'm not worried, I just wanted to get the exact time of when you lose her so I know when to cut-class and watch your misery," Did I just get dissed to all-get-out by a eight-year-old?

Alas, I ignore him completely, mainly because I couldn't come up with a come-back, but I was also starting to worry about just what 'Ditzy Yugi' was capable of,

------Later

"Ey's myah little baby boombie's!" I heard a slur from the up-coming hall, this place was huge and the map's didn't make much sense, but that sentance told me I was close

Turning the corner, Yugito herself was hugging a statue of what I would think was the founder of the school or somethin' She honestly looked drunk, and my mind started slipping into the gutter again as I tried my best to snap out of it, "Hi.... Yugi-Chan," I said unsteadily

"HI NARUKO'S!" She blubbed like Jiraiya, I suddenly felt scared but tried my bestest-darned-estess to not surrender to peer-pressure of being normal.... Perfection is a myth, and High School Musical is a lie, all High School's are like Degrassi, must.... not... be.... normal... or.... a fugitive.... I'm off-track again arn't I?

Anyway, Yugito's stumbled over to me now, she's hanging on me and my face is getting hot..... Must.... not..... be..... normal..... wait, perverted child isn't normal.... So I can like this and not perform a episode of Degrassi.... Now to get Yugito to stop rubbing my arm's so hard their bruiseing

"Yugito, darling, please cease," I wondered how she was acting in her class. But anyway, I need to escort her too the bath-room or whatever, which was luckily near-by, Yugito, can you go _potty_ on your own?" I said, honestly not for sure in this state,

"Yurper's! Ima big girl's!" She skipped over to the bathroom and I had to stop her from entering the boy's side,

"Um, this one Yugi! the pretty _pinky _door!" I said, accidentally being annoying,

She stumbled inside without a word and I just rested aganst the wall waiting, after ten minute's I worried.... but was of course too lazy to do much,

"Yugiiii? I called, not leaveing my spot, "You okay in there?"

A girl poked her head out, she had her rich brown hair in two bun's and she looked like a koala or something, she had a frilled pink skirt with tight white pant's under it and china-style matching top, she had a worried expression on her face, "You her watch?"

"Uhh, yeah?"

"I dread these day's," She sighed, she seemed too mature to be a middle-schooler, she gave me permission to enter and I followed "It's not the first time I happened to be present during these time's," She explained,

Yugito had her face in the toilet and seemed to be drinking the thankfully-clean water, he purple skirt was down and she had Hello-Kitty underwear that kept my mind far from any pervish thought's

"Yugito?" I said, now scared into following the direction's better,

"She seem's to have gas," She said, apart from her pretty-in-pink outfit she seemed tom-boyish "I'm Tenten,"

"Naruto, the new kid... Your named after my birthday,"

"October Tenth?"

"Uh-huh," As I continued to have pointless conversation that seemed to be the only thing keeping me from running for the hill's. Yugito confirmed the gas suggestion that made me and Tenten move to the other-end of the bathroom to continue our conversation of everything we could think of,

-----Later

"WHEEPIE'S!" Yugito screeched as we entered the cafateria, many people stared but once apon seeing the source turned away haveing it self-explained.

I knew girl's went to the bathroom alot but GEEZ! I had to escort Yugito constantly! But my day-dreaming brought me to the concept of why in the world does half the school have lunch at the end of the school day?

Yugito skipped to the food line and I followed next to her on the other side of the rope seperateing the line from the crowd, the Lunch lady saw her and her expression showed she knew what was in store,

I turned around for a second to search the cafateria, Fuu spotted me when I spotted her and then pointed to behind me, I turned back to Yugito who seemed to have pissed off the Lunch lady within under five second's

"PICK SOMETHING!" She screamed, or maybe she's just cranky, she looked like she was going to break the spoon in her hand as 'Soup Nazi' from Seinfeld came to mind,

"I would likeith somed maple chocolate pudding's say's sesame's!" She blubbed again

"WE DON'T HAVE ANY PUDDING YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!!" She screamed again, looking back on previous cafateria visit's, I think I did hear this woman yelling at the other kid's....

The Lunch lady had light black (if black had a light) hair tied to the back of her head, the hair net was around the tuff peeking out from behind her head only and she was wearing a Gothic-Lolita Lunch lady addition dress that had emo-like rip's and frilly lace with stain's. Looked more like she was going to a halloween party then her job,

Her nametag read 'Anko Miterashi' hm, 'Anko'... Doesn't seem very sweet to me,

"Um, Yugito just keep moveing," I said, frantic for her to move away from this scary excuse for a human being,

"I hunt pooding's!" She whined,

"THERE IS NO PUDDING YOU MAGGOT!" I finally just tugged Yugito away from the raving Lunch-hell-lady, who just kept screaming threat's "I'LL SICK MY SNAKE'S ON YOU! AND I KNOW WHERE HALF OF THE POISONOUS ONE'S ARE!" Scary-Snake-Lunch-Lady... creepy, what ever happened to crazy cat lady's? at lease cat's have less a chance of killing you....I wonder how close to me she live's

-----RDC meeting room

I was thankful that most of the rest of lunch was uneventful, I sat at Yugito's table and all she did was keep trying to put all her food in every hole she had but her mouth... I don't think I can look at this girl the same way again.... I also found out she has a matching Hello-Kitty bra.... Please don't ask how I found that out.. Vomit.... induceing..... oh good lord

"Why?" I cried patheticly, crawling on the ground toward's Killer Bee and Fuu "Why?"

"We wanted to help you feel welcome!" Fuu gleed in a super-suger-to-tha-max-tone

"BY GIVING ME THE HARDEST JOB!?" I yelled, knowing how horrid I must seem right now but didn't give too po-... I can never say 'Poop' again... no... not after today... Also don't ask,

"Day three is the hardest job," Yagura noted, he seemed to be pouting from my lack-o-failurio

"What happen's then?" I said, dreading the simple thought,

"You'll see hen' it come's, You'll be on that job too," Coachy Roshi assured

"But not alone, We all come together for day three," Utakata said,

"Who's takeing care of her tomarrow then?" I asked, takeing a worried glance in her direction, She seemed to be danceing with the coat rack that I didn't know why we had,

"Han, can you do it?" I swear, I was this close to saying 'WHY DO I HAVE TO DO IT?' untill Han-slash-sounds-like-an' nodded his head, "Good, then It's settled, Naru-Chan, we'll talk to you tomarrow's!" Fuu said cheerfully

"Got it," I groaned

----Ichiraku

_Tell me what you want_

_what you really really want_

_tell me what you want_

_what you really really want_

_I wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna,_

_I wanna really really really really wanna_

_zig-a-zig ah_

_If you wanna be my lover_

_you gotta first be my friend_

_if you wanna be my lover_

_friendship never end's_

_If you wanna be m-_

"Why are you listening to chick music?" Jiraiya yelled from his chair

"It's not my music! and I know that if I delete any of it that it will seek revenge by getting stuck in my head untill I shoot myself," I grumbled, homework in the living room, NOT smart

"It's makeing me feel funny!"

"Interesting," I grumbled again,

------Next day

YAAAAAAAWN, okay, what's on the agenda today?

"NAAAAAAAAAAAARUTOOOOOOO!" Jiraiya yelled from the other room

"What?"

"SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPING TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!" What? oh my good crap oh almighty why me oh geez I can't stop talking in hyped tone now frickle-dickle-stick's oh MIIIIIIGHTYYYYY,

----Store

"If ya wanna be mah lova! you gotta firs' be mah fren'!" Okay, this is all might fault, Jiraiya is a half-decent singer (Like the kind on Amarican Idol that don't make it but arn't bad enough to be aired,) but OHMYGAWD doe's it have to be THIS!?

"Jiraiya," I said, not sure if it was his singing or my subconsious dreading the 'Coffee High' that was causeing my huge concern,

"Yeeeeeees?"

"Please tell me we don't need Coffee," I was gonna say something else but this topic was more important, I didn't even say it like a question, more like 'Do I really have to go to Aunt Ita's for the summer,' while I had already been told several time's that I had to cause she need's young, hip kid's to help her with her monthly co- Okay I'm going off track AGAIN arn't I?

"Whaddya MEAN I can't PARK WORTH SHITAKE!?"... I really don't like familiar voice's,

Turning around, The first thing I saw was Bigfoot.... -s cousin. Han stood towering even Jiraiya waveing his hand's franticly, he had a cheesy Florida shirt old people wear and then dress short's.... Then their was the whole Yugito-in-punk-rock-hot-emo-girl-from-hot-topic.... Whoa, Sakura in that outfit would be creepy... But maybe in a piiiink,

Okay, yeah, it's another creepy Gothic Lolita dress, only this one is red with black lace, and then it was cut like a French maid's outfit with long sleave's... Really cute (and this is a guy saying this) black shoe's and black stocking's and then black and red bow's in her hair.... And ALOT of make-up, red eye shadow and fake eyelashes with wet-looking red lipstick and too much blush.... This is just freaky.... And look how long it took me to explain it!.... Now that I think about it, she actually look's like Misa from Death Note,

"I said YOU CAN'T!"

"Hmpfhmpf!" Han looked around and finally spotted me, he pleaded with his eye's for me to help, aw geez he's such a sweetie onceya' geta' know heeeeeEEEEM!

"Jiraiya, I'm gonna prevent a homicide now," I said emotionlessly, cause normally I would just walk away pretending I didn't see him, but there's something seriously up with Yugi,

"Okay!" He then trotted up to the store, speaking of clothe's, he only wear's the red robe in the house, and outside he wear's fanel red plaid PJ's.... An- OH MY GAWD DID YUGITO JUST LIFT UP THAT CAR?!

"Aughhhh!" Yugito threw the car over to the woman she was argueing with, Han then jumped over just in time and caught it. I would EXPECT that from him but Yugito?!

For a Monday this particular parking lot was pretty empty, and the middle-aged blond woman ran into the store too scared to say a word about the clearly not-normal teenage girl she had argued with. So it's safe to say that anyone who did see would be stunned to that point of silence, "Hn huf," Han walked over to me almost shyly like he was saying sorry for ruining my shopping day, he rubbed the back of his head,

I smiled as sweetly as a kid my age is able too and went over too Yugito who was still in a rage, "WHAT!? YOU SCARED!? SHOW'S YOU NOT TO PISS OFF THE WRONG PEOPLE YOU LITTL-"

"Yugi! Yugi-Chan?" I said trieing to calm her,

"PISS OFF YOU ROTTEN LITTLE TWERP!" She screamed she then stomped off into the store looking _only_ seventy-four percent 'Diva'

Jiraiya ran out creepily short after that. I ignored his sixteen bag's-full-of milk and Ramen cup's giveing Han a 'Why did you let her go into public like this?' look. He then returned with a 'Cause she scares me and I don't feel like seeing friends on the news and screaming 'ZOMG DHATZ MAH FREN!' ' look, and don't ask me what that look's like,

"Jiraiya? How'd you do that so fast?"

"THEY HAD FWEE COFFEEE SAMNIPUL'S!!!!!" Welp, that answer's my ealier question of wether or not we're getting Coffee,

_BASH_

Looking _into_ the store, there's a gapeing hole in the side, Yugito stood at the pharmacy counter where the hole was, "I'M NOT A SKANK I JUST DON'T LIKE MENSTRAL CRAMP'S DAMMIT!" I stare at the aw-struck people, as I just faintly hear 'clean-up in aisle five' from the moniter's,

-----Ichiraku

"Your kidding?"

"No! like' she was SOOO TOTTALY scary! I mean like' SCANDALOUS!" I joked with Sasuke on the phone, and I was secretly thankful that Konohamaru and his friend's were at a sleep-over meaning that with Iruka all I had to do was assure I was doing okay,

"And it was a Gothic Lolita dress?" He asked, TRYING not to believeing me in the slightest

"Shyea! like what Kiba made that Hinata girl wear at last-year's Halloween party!" Ahhhh yes, the Halloween party at the Hyuga mansion, I think that Kiba must've scarred that poor girl for life.... Weird one though, she never looked me in the eye and according to Kiba didn't faint finally untill I got there ( I was BARNEY! Haha! and Sasuke was a _sucky_ Dracula )

"And you communicate and are excepted by these people?" He asked, clearly freaked,

"SHYEA! And that was just today! I didn't tell you yesterday about how the Lunch-lady from _hell_ wore one too and screamed at her!"

"Hold it, Lunch-lady with Lolita dress and scary?"

"....Shyea,"

".... Ankooo!" What? OHMYGOSH NO WAY!

"What?!" I heard from somewhere behind Sasuke,

"Were you harrassing children yesterday?" He asked

"Duh, and it was Sunday so I had to be sure to scar the little christian kid's extra,"

"Did one have blond hair and was annoyingly obnoxious without even talking?" Hey! I'm not annoyingly obnoxious without talking!.... am I?

".... Yeah," She saw me?

"Naruto, your favorite Lunch-lady from hell is my current foster-sister," Ohhh, your kidding right?

"Doe's she really have snake's?"

"They're crawling, and I swear if I hadn't done that report on poisonous ones then I'd be dead by now," He said, the seriousness in his voice scared me way too much,

"HIII! So your our little Sause-gay-Chan's hubbie he talks so much about!" Wait, SAUSE-GA- I mean SASUKE TALKS ABOUT ME?!"

"Whats he been saying!?"

"Shut up Anko!"

"Dahhhw, HE'S BLUSHING NARUTO!" Oh geez, I think I just scarred Sasuke for life, and I suddenly am in love with the Lunch lady now,

"She lies!" Sasuke says finally cracking, I haven't heard him laugh so hard in years,

I get the sudden urge to hang up just to piss him off... And so I do!

I slam the phone down and run away back to Ichiraku like it's gonna chase me (And I really am sure that Sasuke's gonna jump outta it and noogie me) looking up Jiraiya is on his Coffee high and has found it amuseing pressing his body up agenst the window and smileing out at the town like a idiot.... Nope, he doesn't wear underwear under there.... Ha, I made a ryhme that was probably only amuseing because I'm tired and can't see streight.... Yeah, still freaked out from the whole super-strength thing...But....Can't.... Let..... It.... Get.... Okay I'm smileing so much I need to go to bed now,

---------Next day

"NAAAAAAAAAAAAAARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" I fell out of bed and jumped up to answer the door, Jiraiya had yet to come off his Coffee high apparently and was standing outside my door holding the phone, "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL FOR YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" He yelled

I picked up the phone, being waken totally up by Jiraiya's screech, "Ello'?"

"_Ey-ey-ey buddy it's Killa Bee! evera body else es here wit' me! we called ya'll off school, cuz Uta' es cool, and now we needya tah come and chouffer' too, ya, fool!"_ Killer Bee sang and I could hear the faint beat's of Fuu beating along,

"..... Oaky dokie?" I said, it's been little over a week here and nothing seem's to surprise me anymore, "Where do we meet?" The second I was done a loud screech was heard from the background, followed by the crying of small children,

"Uh, yea, um, We're at Nara Park, HURRY YA' FOO- Yugito! girl get offa that!" There was the a wooshing noise and a thunk before it dis-connected from what I would assume was Killer Bee carelessly throwing the phone behind his back.

And so, I explained to Jiraiya, whom was standing infront of me creepily silent, " My un-stable friend's from 'Recovoring Demons Club' want me to help them keep one girl alive and arrest-free as she slowly settle's into her latest anti-crazy drug, they're at Nara park and called me off school cause apparently chick's dig guy's in dresses," I looked at him as he continued to smile, I waved my hand infront of his face and he responded by falling over. On the ground he snored loudly and I think still had his eye's open..... I'll go now,

----Nara Park

Ahhh yes, Nara Park, I hear it's owned by some doctor family, hm. Now where have I heard 'Nara' before?

"Naruto!" I looked up and Fuu was doing a hand-stand on a telephone pole, Yugito was infront of her walking on the line, "I need you to stand under her and catch her if she fall's!"

I stared at her for a minute before turning to Yugito who was half-way across the line, I went over and stood under her with my arm's out-streched waiting for her to fall on me and then get sued for sexual harrassment.... Sorry for my zombieness, these guy's just weird me out,

I followed under Yugito for a few second's untill she got to the end, and I looked up at Fuu, "Where are the guys?" She pointed to the playground part where Killer Bee, Utakata, and Yagura were talking to a police man nervously, Gaara sat silently at the end of a slide watching us as a number of kid's were pokeing him, and I believe Han was in the fetal postion under the jungle gym cause of a scraped knee and a small child was comforting him.... And it look's like Roshi is flirting with the soccor mom's, (It doesn't work dude, their husband's don't even get any)

"Wait Yugito!" I turn around and I see Yugito apparently flying, okay, no she just jumped friggin FIVE FOOTBALL FIELD'S to a diffrent pole and ohmygawd I have a sneaking feeling I'm gonna be on either Unsolved Mystery's or Amarica's Most Wanted,

Turning again the officer had left and didn't notice the display, and everybody else weren't as surprised.

OOOOOOKAAAAAY THEEEEEN...... Holy mother of-

"Yugi!"

"_Ya' fool ya' fo-..... YOUR A FOOL YU!.... GI....to?_" Killer can't rap? Okay then, I'll just go ahead and let it sink into my brain how bad this is..... OHMYGAWDWHATDOIDOWHATDOIDOWHATDOIDOWHATDOIDOWHATDOIDOWHATDOIDOWHATDOIDOWHATDOIDOWHATDOIDOWHATDOIDOWHATDOIDO!?!?!?

What time is it? the sun's already going down?! I musta slept through the entire school day i- WHY AM I WORRYING ABOUT THE DAMNED TIME!? I DUNNO WHY! WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF!? BECAUSE WHEN GAARA AND UTAKAGAGU HAVE A DISTRESSED LOOK ON THEIR EXPRESSIONLESS FACE'S YOU KNOW THE WORLD'S IN BIG DOO-DOO!? WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT DOO-DOO!? CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAAAAAP!

Okay, from all that it's probably safe to say my mind is blank now, I can't process anything except that I'm not processing, Fuu seem's to be shakeing me, ow, it's makeing my head hurt. Gaara's trieing to get myself to snap out of it..... She lifted up a car yesterday.... And jumped like' a thousand or somethin' yard's today.... Tomarrow should be moveing thing's with her mind.....

-----Han's POV

Oh geez this again? Yugi's going all acrobatics on us. And now Naruto looks like he's gonna throw up, Killer's all crazed cause he's had a crush on Yugi since they were like' five, oh well,

It's getting dark out cause the news said there was gonna be a eclipse. And Yugito's going even higher now, Ugh, the things I do for love... My knee still hurts,

-----Naruto's POV

Yugito just went up another story..... Holy shit..... Frickle-dickle-stick's oh mighty this is _baaaaaaaaaaad_..... AND SHE'S GOING HIGHER!?

"She's too high!" Fuu screamed,

"We needa follow her or somethin!" Killer Bee then attempted to help.... Screw that,

"Wait!" Everyone looked at me, they had apparently forgotten about me thinking I had lost it, I feel the wind pick up at the worst time. "We need to split up! Killer Bee and Gaara! you guy's stay down here!" Killer Bee nod's his head happy he didn't have to take charge, "Fuu Roshi and Han go and get help, those cop's should still be in the area!" They immidiantly take off in the direction the police went, "Utaka' and Yagura! you guy's follow me up the tower! You'll stop in the middle and I'll keep going and try and lure her back!"

"Well why can' we go up then?" Killer Bee asked,

"Cause, your here for if she fall's," I said in a really un-needed dramatic fashion, Killer gulbed and Gaara's usual annoyed expression turned into a completely blank one,

Looking up, It's obvious that she must have gone up higher while we were talking, now it look's like she's at the very top, and is slowly makeing her way across the wire to- A ELECTRIC GENERATOR!? WHAT THE HECK!? HOW IN THE?! WHY IN THE!?

Okay, can't lose it again now... Turn up my iPod, and yes, up untill this point I was calling it IP-ODD.... Don't laugh, Sasuke already did... Hit it,

_I scream into the night for you_

_don't make it true_

_Please don't jump_

_the light's will not guide you through_

_they're deceiveing you_

_Please don't jump_

_Don't let memorie's fall_

_of me and you_

_The world is down there out of view_

_don't jump_

_Please don't jump_

_You'd open your eye's_

_but you can't remember what for_

_the snow fall's quietly_

_but you just can't feel it no more_

_somewhere out there_

_you lost youself in your pain_

_you dream of the end_

_to start all over again_

_I don't know how long_

_I can hold you so strong_

_I don't know how long_

_Just take my hand_

_give it a chance_

_Don't jump_

_I scream into the night for you_

_don't make it true_

_Please don't jump_

_the light's will not guide you through_

_they're deceiveing you_

_Please don't jump_

_Don't let memorie's fall_

_of me and you_

_The world is down there out of view_

_don't jump_

_Please don't jump_

_And if all that can't hold you back_

_then I'll jump for you_

"Yugito!" I reached the top, I'd told Yagura and Utakata to wait at the middle, Yugito was almost half way to the other side but still turned her head around. Her face was blank, confused, her arm's out to keep her balance, I hurried up to the end of the railing and looked down

"We're here Naruto!" Yagura called up from below, Utakata had his hand's out over his head and was leaning over the railing, his emotionlessness just made the scene all the more comedic. As for Killer and Gaara I didn't have to see their face's to tell that the brownish white thing running around franticly with his arm's out was Killer Bee haveing a simular breakdown, and Gaara was the red dot staying in the center of the running,

I looked back up at Yugito, who had let her hand's down and was swaying on the line slowly with the picking up wind, "Yugito, can you come over here for me?" I said unsteadily,

"Why?" She asked, the sound of her voice was familar, like mine during trial's about what I did. Like she didn't know what to do anymore, I get it, the thrid day was the depression, the comeing together to watch her was the safety. I didn't hear any rapping about the thing's that Yugito's done in the past, but seeing how much like me everybody is,

"Yugito," I said, trying to take the new-found comparison to word's, "Please, come back here," I said, stareing at her feet, just waiting for them to slip, "Just look down, everybody's waiting for you, you should come back now," I wasn't sure how wise the 'look down' part was, but it's all that came to mind,

She looked down slowly, like a Angel of Death dreading her next task, and in the one second I took my eye's off her feet to look at her face I could've swore she was bringin one up the step off the line. "But," She said slowly, but I couldn't take my eye's off her face to check if she was going to fall, "They'll be mad at me,"

"No we won't!" A small voice came from below, I looked down and Fuu, Han and Roshi came back with Principal Tsunade,

Tsunade was on her cell phone, I wasn't sure how Fuu could hear from all the way down there but I wasn't really bothering to question all logic right now, "Yugi?! honey it was me wasn' it!? I'm sorry! I know I' shouldna ate that last piece 'o' cake but I wus hungray!" Killer pleaded panicked, he managed to yell loud enough for us too hear and still run around franticly,

"See Yugi? come on back over here," I said, going back to stare at her feet, "Come on, please," I looked up at her face for what was only supposed to be a second, she looked at me and I got locked on her eye's,

They were usually light brown but right now they were pitch black, and I could only tell the color at all if not for little blue flicker's of light that seemed to be inside the eye's and also flickering outside like flame's, I couldn't care less but in the corner of my eye the apparent eclipse that was causeing the darkness had completely overcome the sun and the outline around it was fadeing blue by whatever was blocking it,

I tried again, "Yugi?" I said, she was walking toward me slowly with her arm's raised slightly, I held out my hand when she got close enough,

Knowing my luck, she slipped, but she grapped the rope and my hand just in time and was just left with her legs wrapped around the line and the rest of her was leaned agenst me with her hand cupped on mine, she smiled weakly, "Your so cute," And pressed her lips on mine... And here's the loopy part,

------Gaara's POV

.... Are they kissing?..... I turned to Killer.... Yup, must be, he's paralized finally with his mouth hanging open like.... Well like when the Mary-Jane in your life start's kissing the new guy..... Where did that Mary-Jane comment come from? I told Kankuro I didn't want to watch Spider-Man.... He won't stop talking to me now.... Annoying..... Yup, Killer's certainly crying under his sunglasses,

------Next day. Naruto's POV

"When are you guy's going to explain to me why whenever I change medication I lose three day's time?" Yugito asked in the RDC meeting the next day, hate to sound romantic but she fell asleep on me... Wonder why Killer Bee was so mad?

Anyway, I have also decided that nothing the past three day's has happened, which will help cause as far as I know, Jiraiya's still at home sleeping off his Coffee high, since he was there when I got home and when I left still snoreing away.... No body's answering Yugito's question.... I'm in a zombie fit right now.... I forgot to call Konohamaru and everybody last night, He'll be so mad.... Yugito's pokeing me

"Naruto? What's wrong?" She asked, and I make a mental note with my remaining brain-cell's that next time someone say's 'Yugito' 'Medication' and 'Change' all in the same sentance that I must train myself to say 'Not it'....

"....Hi puppy's..... pretty puppy's..... I like to smoke cucumber's in the parade at L.A. led by a fridge and radio..... Dollie's..." Oh, and did I forget to mention that last night, before I went to sleep, watched Paprika and stupidly fell asleep to it?..... ".... Why don't I remember the past three day's?"

--------------------------------

_**NOTICE NOTICE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTICCCCCCCCCCCE!:**_ Money suck's, there may be a point in time where I don't update for a really long time, warning you now but I may be able to finish at least the main story before the electirc is shut off for money to pay the house payment's..... anyway, THANX!

Okay, thank you for you wonderful review's and blah blah blah blah, I wanted to make this chapter longer but didn't have any idea's but the 'Lolita Dress'

I have my mom's aunts, uncle, and my grandma reading this... And they LIKE IT..... Am I missing something?

This is getting to be really popular... and maybe not because I'm totally whoreing it out on Deviant Art.... Haha,

Next chapter should be short and will be posted soon! (Most bond's chapter's will be short, for lack 'o' information 'o' on any of the Jinchuriki.... I still don't like makeing Yu act so gentle, he's reminding me of Jugo too much .) also, check out the Naruto-South Park crossover called... I don't remember..... IT'S ABOUT NARUTO BEING JESUS!


	6. The Littlest Monster

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or any song's in this fiction.... I lub et soooooo mushez! XD

Anyvay, This chapter will be about our dear little Yagura

I wanted to post the chapter's close together cause I hadn't updated in a while, so.... Here,

This might even be posted the same time as the last one sooooooo.... shyea

I dunno, not even sure on what I'm writ- okay I got it now XD

I really need to update my other fan fic's (I'm deleteing three already, one that's unfinished with bad grammar, one that is finished with bad grammar that I'll re-post later when I'm in a Sonic mood, and one that's made for my ranting but I have nothing big to rant about but gay right's..... support it.... I'm done...... and trust me, if you dissagree just let me mention that you were searching for a Gaara-Naruto fan fic when you found this, and any Naruto Pop Culture knower know's all fan fic's about them in this never-ending fic a second site are about Gaara going to highschool, getting bullied by Sasuke and getting a crush on Naruto (real story, I was scared to read it, My mom say's I'm the queen of teen angst but frankly.... angsty normal teenage girl's disgust me to the pit's of icky-shut-up-ness.....))..... I just ranted didn't I? okay, stop listening to me and just read this most-likely-painfully-short chapter of probably-not-cool-and-angsty-cute-little-boy-ness...... What was I talking about again?... An' sorry for the bad chapter title, I have low creativity,

-----------------Chapter 5: The Littlest Monster

"I'm ho-" I looked down and Jiraiya was still asleep on the floor.... I'll give him a couple more hour's before I call the hospital, "-me." I finish throwing my back pack on him

----Later

"Every been chewed out by a eight-year-old?" I asked Sasuke three hour's after returning home

"Maybe when Kiba was, but I think I'm older then him, why?" Damn, what's his birthday? crap he's gonna _hound_ me when I forget,

"I just argued with Konohamaru for three hour's about forgetting to call last night," Uhg, mad Kono, NOT good-o,

"You didn't call me either bitch, I was so pissed ah' almost cheated on you,"

"Yeah.... 'bout that..... I don't remember a thing,".....

"Yes, but I almost listened to those annoying Night-Line commercial's.... It's all fun n' game's till a serial killer with your phone number track's you down and slaughter's your granny," Yay, Sasuke's in a good mood.... Crap now I gotta ask,

"Yeaaaah..... What'cha been doin?" Please get the hint please get the hint PLEASE get the hint

"What'cha mean?" D'OH!

"WITH YOUR STUFF 'TARD!" I looked over briefly to see if Jiraiya was awake yet.... Nope,

"....Huh?" Okay now he's just tryin' to piss me off,

".....You know... your RASH!" I yell hopeing someone was near him, particularly Scary-Snake-Lunch-Lady

"Sasu has a rash?" Low and behold, Anko's voice, another voice muttered something and she laughed,

"Shut up, shut up Naruto, Anko... KABUTO STOP LAUGHING!" He yelled and the farther off laughing got even louder,

"Soooo?" I coo,

"..... It's _really bad,_ and the molestation isn't helping," Sasuke was moveing now, and the voice that muttered first distinctly yelled 'Not out loud!' He entered a room and I heard him close the door, "I hate you,"

"I lub you too honey-bun's," I laugh, he growl's and I hear a computer start up,

"Anyway, as for what I'm doing, It's getting really close," He said, I could hear the sound of him typeing on the computer, "Somewhere between my town here and your's," He finished,

"Where are you?" Foster's don't usually go too far to house a kid for a few week's,

"It's a city called Oto,"

"Safe-Oto!"

"Shut up," He said, but I knew he was smileing behind his annoyed stare at the computer, "Anyway, it's just a few mile's away from you, a mansion on the outskirt's of what the kid's in your town call 'The Namikaze Downtown',"

"YOUR IN A MANSION!?" Lucky!

" My room's in.... I dunno how to say it, it's a non-mansiony area of it, where most of the kid's stay most the time, and we need permission to go through a certain point."

"How many kid's are there?"

"He's adobted alot, I'm not even sure I've met all of them," He said, boredly clicking the mouse on un-clickable area's I would assume, like what he doe's when he log's-on just to hog the computer, "He want's me but I'm not giving,"

"Yay's! So the plan on us living in a orphanage the rest of our live's untill we get a job making video game's is on!?"

"...Sure, Naruto, Operation L.I.A.O.T.R.O.O.L.U.W.G.A.J.M.V.G. Is a go,"... How'd he turn that into inital's so fast?!

"...." I had to write it down, "What was it again?" He repeated it for me, (HOW'D HE REMEMBER IT TOO?!) ".... Operation.... Liaortoruulewgahjimvicgah..... GO!"

"Uh-huh,".... Well I was able to say it! so NYAH!

"SASUKE!" I girl voice apparently blasted through Sasuke's door...Damn, I don't think Sasuke jumped, "STOP HOGGING THE PHONE YOU FILTHY FOOL!" Hmm, nasty talker.... Sound's ugly,

"See ya' Naruto, this girl's gonna cut-off my manhood with a spoon,"

"I LUB YOU SAH-SU-GAY!"

"And I love you too Brittney baby,"..... He hung up... Ah man he did NOT just use me to make them think he has a hot blonde girlfriend!?.... Not that Brittney is a hot-blonde name.... even though I CONFIDED IN HIM THAT IF I WAS A GIRL I WANTED THAT TO BE MY NAME!.... I feel so violated,

"Uhhg," I turn around and Jiraiya's getting off the floor finally, "What happened? did I get drunk?" He asked,

"Nah, just Coffee,"

"...Were there women involved?" He asked again

"Nope,"

"...Will you tell people there's women involved?"

"Of course daddy,"

"....I'm gunna go to bed,"

" Okay daddy," He got up, after he closed the door I heard him mumbling something about Banana boat's.... Okay's....

------Next day

"NAAAAAAAAAAAAARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I flip outta bed and jump up, I don't recall the last time I had woken up normally. Maybe in the three day's I forgot.... Ah well, "PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE FOR YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!"

"Yeah yeah," I opened the door and took the phone, Jiraiya's face showed the result of sleeping on a tile floor for three day's... anyway "Hello?"

"Come to my home,"

"......Is this my stalker?" I ask, haveing no idea who it was and secretly hopeing it was a girl masking her voice as a annoying brittish sounding bra- Ohmygawd...

"It's Yagura you mindless droan,".... He sound's like a friggin Negima character!....I like the manga cause it has more nude scene's (hee hee!) "I told you to come to my house!"

"Why? how? and with what weapon?" I asked,

"Ugh, look out your window you idiot," He said, I do as the scary short-boy said and look out seeing a giant blue limo in the front with people crowded around it... Okay, how doe's this kid know my address?

"...Dude, you scarin' me here,"

"Don't call me dude, a 'dude' is a word for the hair on a elephant's ass," Ohmygawd not only was that a funny fact but he say's 'Ass' like 'Oz' DYAH! He's gotta be brittish! I'm sure if I was a giddy school girl then I'd be pinching his cheek's right now! "Now, go outside, and get in the limo, and COME,"

"What about school?" Looking at the clock I was already late,

"I called you off, I'm the one in the club that can do voice impression's," He said, I could just imagine him pouting, "Now hurry!"

"I gotta get dressed," I said still half-asleep,

"You what?! when'd you wake up?!"

".....After you called," Hey, it's the truth!

"Ugh, never mind just throw on whatever's on your floor and hurry," Well, if you insist

-----Yagura's House

"Why are you wearing a barney T-shirt and swim-short's?" He asked when I got out of the limo,

"You told me to put on whatever was on my floor!" Yeah, Kiba got me a Barney T-shirt for my birthday.... Long story, it's a inside joke,

"Ugh, just hurry!" Geez, what? doe's he want me to hide a body for him?

His house is baby-blue, there's a pool in the backyard the size of Jiraiya's entire aparment (Or bigger) and there's three butler's standing outside, "Nice place," I say stareing wide-eyed,

"That's my father's dog's house you numb-skull!"

"WHAT?!" The 'dog house' was bigger then the Ichiraku and Iruka's orphange put together, and the only other comparison I can think of is the most expensive house in the Life board game,

He led me up a hill to a even BIGGER house, this one was dark blue, had a pond _and_ a pool in the back, and the entire foundation was surrounded with big tree's so crowded together it was like the entrance to a enchanted forest. And then the whole fifteen maid's and butler's outside thing,

The limo had pulled into a big white garage that had about seven other multi-colored limo's inside, "....You the Prez' kid or somethin?"

"No, my father's a Senator,"

"...Close enough.... Do you have half of Disney world in your backyard too?"

"No, I don't know why your so aw-striken, my house is only half the size of Gaara's, and three quarter's of Kirabi's farm house," I then imagined the dog house, his house, Killer's house, and then Gaara's all in a line.... Am I the only one inclass who live's in a dump? "And I know what your thinking, and yes, your the only one that live's in a dump... Beside's Roshi-Sensei," Yay, I feel so loved,

"Well, what did ya' call me here for anyway?" I asked,

"I wanna know how you did it," He opened up a gate that led into the backyard, I swear it would make Micheal Jackson cry with envy, no, no distinct Disney ride's, just a train..... a frickin' TRAIN! With a little annoyed man driveing and EVERYTHING!

"......Can I ride?"

"Are you listening to me!?"

"Huh? oh, right, what were you saying?"

"I said I want to know how you did it!"

"Did what?"

"GET YUGITO ON THE GROUND ALIVE YOU BLIMEY IDIOT!!!"

"..... Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah," THAT'S what I did in those three day's I do- Okay Yugito kissed me, that must be why Killer has been being all pissy and non-rappy, ".... I dunno, I compared with her I guess," Was that what I did? I remember thinking we were alike.... I think,

"You compared?" He asked leaning agenst a l- okay why is there one of those old-fashioned street lamp's in his backyard?

"Yeah, you know, I think the same thing's wrong with us, it's just that she was reminding me of me," I kept wondering about a buncha mental rocket-science crap that I don't understand but remember Mr. Hatake talking about,

".....Ugh, so un-intelligable, and I thought I might figure something out from you," He said crossing his arm's and walking away, I never noticed but he dresses like a girl, with a green sleeveless turtle-neck and light-brown short's so neat and clean it was like he went into the wash with them,

"Like what?" I asked, what can I teach anybody to do anything other then make- I GOT IT!

"I was hopeing you might know something about all our diagnosis' "

"Ya habba ya wha?"

"Gaara's temper, Yugito's moodwswing's, My issue's, Roshi-Sensei's hot-head, Han's outburst's, Utakata-San's killing second personality, Fuu's rageing power, Kirabi's strange elite ability's... And then there's you," He looked up at me, "We all have the same thing, in diffrent word's,"

"What?"

"Ugh, what is the definition of 'Outburst'?"

"...Uh.... Goin' crazy?....Randomly?"

"And 'Hot-Head' is street slang for?"

".....Goin' crazy randomly?"

"Bingo! you win the prize for smartest dumbass!"

".....But what ab-"

"I AM NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN EVERY LAST DETAIL OF EVERY ONE OF MY SENTANCE'S FOR YOU!"

"..... Okay,"

"I've been trying to find the reason for our most-likely same illness for year's,"

"...How old are you?"

".....Doe's that matter?"

"YES!" I squeed!

"....Eight,"

".....Okay,"

"....Anyway, before I was randomly intturupted. I can't seem to find, compare, or even find a real working treatment for any of it. Untill you came and so easily tamed Yugito in her final stage of 'transfer' "

".....And? it was actually kind of easy, I mean, I said a few thing's and she came to me, like in a intervention or whatever,"

"Ugh, but you don't understand, the last time Yugito got herself in a situation like that she fell eight story's and almost died!"

"You kidding?!"

"No, Naruto, I don't know how, but you got through to Yugito somehow, it was strange, unexplained, and probably accidental but you broke through," Whoa, really? so, what? I'm like, special or something? "And your personality isn't far from Kirabi's, so I don't think it was charm,"

"Heehee! Yay! I'm unique!"

"...A very big word for such a tiny little man,"

"EXCUSE ME?! Your barely past my knee-capp's!"

"Please don't exagerrate, I'm at you shoulder's, and beside's, I have age as an excuse, and what do you have? And don't think your spiked up hair and 'handsome smile' make's up for it,"

"Oh shut up,"

"...Naruto," His tone went back from snotty to serious,

"Yeah?"

"What are the line's on your face?" He pointed to my cheek's, there was a statue of a angel holding a mirror and I looked at it to confirm him,

"These? I think they're birthmark's or something,"

"Did your parent' have simular?"

"No," Actually, it was the only thing keeping me and my dad from looking like twin's, from what I could see from the old picture's of my dad as a little kid lying around Jiraiya's apartment.

"Have you ever noticed that each member of the R.D.C. club has a strange characteristic?"

"Like what?"

"Gaara's eye's, and not to mention the kanji on his head?"

"Oh yeaaaaaah,"

"It's not a tattoo, and those with insomnia don't have such severe bag's. Then there's Kirabi's facial mark,"

"The horn's?"

"Yes, he was born with it, and what color are my eye's?"

"....Red," Creeeeepy,

"And Fuu's are?"

"Same?"

"Very good, now, look under my left eye," I got in closer and there was a small mark like a scar that trailed all the way down from his eye to his neck,

"I was born with that, then there's Utakata-San's eye's, Han's size, Roshi-Sensei's 'birthmark' on his nose and his hair that won't stay down-" Heh, he look's like a chicken, ex-di! "- and what doe's Yugito look like to you?"

"A cat, " I mumbled, realizeing just now about her up-turned eye's with cat-pupil's and thin face.

"There you go," He explained, "There's something strange or eerie about each of us, which lead's me to believe tha-"

"Don't you ever have any fun?"

"... Excuse me?" He asked, I laughed when he looked at me like I was more of a maniac then I already know I am

"We already know what's goin' on with us, not the exact greek word for it, but we know, so why not put it past us and just live?" He stared at me like I was a raving hobo, which made me want to laugh even more. "Come on! _F is for friend's who-"_

"DON'T YOU DARE SING!"

"....._- do stuff together! U is for you and me!"_

" 'You' doesn't start with 'U' "

"_ N is for anywhere at anytime at all down here with my best buddie!" _Oh geez, me and Konohamaru still sing this to Sasuke when he's being a doodie head,

"And 'Any' doesn't start with 'N' "

"Oh WHA! go play with your test tube's and poli-walker's... I'm gonna ride the train!" I ran over to the train and jumped on, the annoyed driver pulled the lever and it sped off... Slowly,

I looked back and Yagura had a total 'WTF?!' look on his face

-------------Later

"And today my dear lady's and gent's, I'll be makeing my most famous and beloved recipe, vomit,"

"How did you get into my house!?" Yagu-Chan ran inside after finding me, his house is huge I tell ya, I got lost and I swear if there wern't about four of them I woulda never found the kitchen. His various maid's and butler's stood around and stared at me, don't ask why I'm doing this, I have simply crossed into the hyper stage of weirded-out-ness.

"First, I need a pan," One of the more playful maid's handed me a pan giggleing, "Now, all you need are regular household item's, such as extra-chunky soup, of whatever is likely to be in the maker's stomach,"

"Are you high!?" He asked as another butler joined in and handed me a can, I put it in and continued my pretend show,

"Then, you need some nice oatmeal, for a thickener," I put it inside,

"And finally, for that racidy vomit smell, I usually use some good old vinegar!" I poured some in, adding more oatmeal and then holding my masterpiece up for all to see, "And now, you will all see it's most wonderful use," I walked over to Ya-_guey_, he continually asked what on earth I was doing and I made the BLEC-ing motion of pouring the pan onto his head.

------------Later

"Never, and I repeat _never_ will I bring you into my home again," He said, he had looked me into his bedroom as he took a shower, he came out re-dressed in jean's so crisp and neat they didn't look like jean's, and then a plain green T-shirt, " Your intolerable you know that?"

"Where's your parent's?" I asked, probably pissing him off by laying on his super-neat'n'tidy bed,

"My mother died long ago and my father goe's on business trip's, and don't take me for the sad and lonely rich boy cause my father's such a whiney sissy that I have to force him to go half the time," I looked at him, he glared back... I am NOT getting off the bed if that's what he want's,

".....Sooo.... I guess this is the part in the movie where I ask if your lonely but since you already proved your anti-social.... " I tryed to ignore him by playing some nice emo-boy music,

_The I.V. and_

_Your hospital bed_

_This was no accident,_

_This was a theraputic chain of event's_

_This is the scent of dead skin_

_On a linolium floor_

_This is the scent of quarentine wing's _

_In a hospital room_

_It's not so pleasant_

_And it's not so conventional_

_It sure as hell ain't normal but_

_We deal we deal_

_Just sit back sit back_

_Just back and relax_

_Just sit back sit back_

_Just sit back and relapse again_

_You earned your spot_

_In the I.C.U.'s hall of fame_

_The camera's caught you_

_Causeing a comotion on the gurney again_

_Can't take the kid from the fight_

_Or take the fight from the kid_

_sure as hell ain't normal_

_but we deal we deal_

_Can't take the kid from the fight_

_Can't take the fight from the kid_

_Can't take the kid from the fight_

_Can't take the fight from the kid_

_It sure as hell ain't normal_

_But we deal we deal,_

"I'll go ride the train now," I went over to the window and jumped out onto the roof,

"Are you crazy?" He asked more calmly then I figured,

"Nope," I did this all the time with Kiba, I jumped off the roof and landed right into the train again. Now, THAT I never did with Kiba, but I felt frisky, and I landed it streight without breaking anything... ANYWAY,

Yagura quickly joined me, now he seemed to have went into the silent stage of weirded-out-ness, after the train went for a while I jumped off and ventured into the wood's in the back,

A little way's into the place there was a opening, it was round and green with wild flower's of pretty color's scattered around like a cliche painting, then there was a pond with lily pad's the size of chair's around in the water, cat tail's and dragonfly's decorated the back of it, and the tree's broke in a way that made the light shine down perfectly around the place,

"Naruto?" Yagura called me back, I followed knowing Jiraiya may have (or not) noticed my missingness by now, but vowed to later explore the little paradise,

------------Later

"You frighten me Naruto Uzumaki, you truely do," Yagu-Chan said when he dropped me off back at Ichiraku,

"Thank's for letting me raid your place!" I said,

"...Yeah.... Nice, talking, I suppose, Naruto Uzumaki," He got back inside the limo that was now a orange one, and left.

I skipped giddily inside, entering, Jiraiya was stareing at the TV,

"How ya' doin' Jir-geez?" I asked,

"I'm almost done with my next manuskript, I just need to make sure the exact sound you should make after a bad counter-clockwise swirl... Bad good I mean,"

"Okay, I would assume it's a ah-ha-hun-hummm-sa-kaahhh, like noise,"

"......EUREKA!" He ran into his room, but I still got coin's outta my room for the payphone,

---------Outside

"And then I gave Jiraiya the- apparently- _perfect_ idea for one of his porno book's," Konohamaru had talked my ear off for two day's worth so I just blocked it out and after Konohamaru stopped to take a breath tell him I was low on change, anyway, Sasuke was packing to go back to Iruka's tomarrow so I just told him about my day not sure wether or not he actually had the phone to his ear and felt only slightly like Kono,

Sasuke's 'delayed' reaction showed he probably had the phone on his table as he folded his clothe's, "Hn, yeah, interesting, " .... Jackass,

"Hey, are you listening?!"

".....Nah," I pouted, like he saw me,

"Hmmm, come on! where's Scary-Snake-Lunch-Lady? she's actually fun!....._ F is for violet's! do all about it's!"_ I was surprised he let me continue, "_ You is for U-KAH-LAY-LEEZ! N is for nose picking..... SOMETHING and SAND LICKING down here with my BEST BUDDIE!_"

"_F is for fire, that burn's down the whole town, you is you uranium, BOMB'S! N is for no survivor's when we're all done,_" Ah geez I totally just set him up for that

"NOT LIKE THAAAAAT!" Did I hear? did I just hear a CHUCKLE!? did my little Sause-Gay-Kun just CHUCKLE?!

"I'll talk to you tomarrow, N-" A door opened and some one called for him "... I'll talk to you tomarrow Naruto-Kun, now they're trieing to get me to stay again, but operation Lily-ai-oh-tow-rule-uw-ga-ji-mh-vi-ga is still a go," ...... Damn him,

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

YAYZ! New chapiter!

anyvay's, I want to put more of the novel-concept into here, so that it's not like the weird idea of a annoying fangirl,

but anyway, this was REALLY just a info chapter, Sasuke gave info as to wha-tha-fuk he's doing, Yagura gave info on wha-tha-fukz goin' on, and Naruto gave info on how to make FAKE VOMIT! (Which I almost forgot was supposed to be a big pun in here, also, disclaimer, the recipe is from a Simpson's Comic,)

Now, I need to show some more SCI-FI and ANGSTYNESS in here... but I don't like writeing big depressing thing's, so I can't assure anything really 'OMFG EMOZ!' till, once again, chapter 12,

Thank you my loyal ( but still sadly few -_- ) Fan's! plz keep reading well into this story's SEQUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_**LOOKIT MEH! LOOOOOOKIT MEH! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKYZ!:**_ Anyway, another change is, the first chapter label's the six-tailed beast as a fish, but Taifuu's animal will now change to a bird, because I had too many slimey beast's already, but yeah, I'll be SOOO friggin pissed if they reveil the name's of these character's, cause it'll make me want to re-write the whole thing... (And then no Taikun-Kun or You-Yu joke's!)

(Another note) As you know I changed all there name's...... luckily I can swab out Yu-You jokes for Han-hand-and jokes. and 'Taifuus' Utakata jokes make up for Taikun-kun ones,


	7. The Lonely Monster

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything in here, but some name's....

YAYZ! PIENESS!

Okay, now, I've been wanting to write this chapter, so I'll just tell ya'll my view on the Bond's chapter's

Gaara's: (Done) BOOOORING, more about Yugito then him, I am just no longer interested in Gaara ever since Shippuden. Yugito's: (Done) She's actually what inspired the entire fic, and her bond's chapter was the first I came up with, I think I was watching a high school movie when I got the concept, might've been Mean Girl's (bleh) or somethin. Yagura's: (Done) I forced it, and I rushed the ending cause I wanted to update quick, I found it corny. Roshi's: (Being done) Second one I came up with, he just seem's like a perverted old man don't he? playing my Bully game gave me my inspiration. Han: (Not done yet) I'm frusterated with Han because I'm makeing him alot like Jugo, when he doesn't seem like the looks-mean-but-isnt-type, so I plan to make him more like Frankenstine XD. Utakata: (Not done yet) I have already completely planned out his chapter, it will be short, but he's supposed to be comicly emotionless. Fuu: (not done yet) Not totally sure what to write for her yet, something angsty, with so many pop culture refference's that only I can understand them ( like the rest of this fic!). Kirabi: (not done yet) I lub hem su mushez -_-; not sure quite yet, but I have gotten inspiration for at least one scene for haveing to ride the bus. Naruto: (Not done yet) Yes, Naruto get's to Bond with himself, (kinda) If you've been listening to my Author Note's then you know that it's mainly about Sasuke.... (WHICH MIGHT MEAN SOMETHING!) ....? Anybody read this? ello?...... *sniff* I want more fan's,

------------------------------------------------Chapter 6: The Lonely Monster

Ugh, Sasuke's SOOOOO smart! He's SOOOOOOO talented! He's SOOOOOO CU- I won't finish that one,

I slammed the phone dow, and stomped up the Ichiraku stair's without taking a second glance at Ayame, I opened the door and the phone was ringing, still raveing pissed I rip it off almost breaking it, "Hello?"

"Hello Naruto," Gaara's voice say's,

"Gar? whatchu' callin' for?"

"I noticed you wern't in school today so I wanted to send you a message," He said, sounding like he was calling only because he had nothing else to do in his what I've resently found out as GI-NOR-MOOS mansion!

"What is it?" Now too lazy to remember I'm supposed to be pissed,

"...What cha' doin'?"

"....Nuh-ten?" Okaaaaay,

"......Good,"

"You gonna tell me now?"

" I'm not good with the whole aspect of 'comunication'," He explained,

".... You can start with getting what you were gonna say over with,"

"...School's not gonna be in tomarrow,"

"Awsome,"

" 'Cause Utakata attacked the cheerleading squad,"

"....And?"

".... I .... Also made the scoreboard fall down,"

"How?!"

"..... I looked at it,"

"....Want me to ask how again?"

"..... Your my friend right?"

"Yeaaaah,"

".....There's a voice in my head screaming right now,"

"Mr, texa's car salesman?"

"Uh-huh,"

".....Tell him to stop throwing thing's out your ear,"

"....Thank's Naruto..... Bye now,"

"Okay, go lay down," He sounded unbelievably creeped,

"Night' Naruto,"

"Night," He hung up and I imagine he proabably fainted dead-away, I never heard Gaara sound so weirded out before, this must be what I was like watching Yugito.... I wonder if I'll soon get super-strength and be able to move thing's with my mind?

"DONE!!!" Jiraiya kicked down his bedroom door and held a stack of paper's up, "I'M DONE WITH MY MANUSKRIPT!!!!"

"......Interesting," I said, now creeped out myself,

I think I'll take my own advice now and lay down... On the kitchen floor,

---------------------------------------Next Day

"Wha happened?" I asked after I got off the floor,

"No women were involved," Jiraiya whom was sitting in his chair assured. I then recalled Gaara's phone call.... Maybe I should of listened more too Yagura's sci-fi doctor talk, he's probably haveing a field day with this info.... Okay good I remember my birthday, "Are we feeling alright Naruto?" He asked, not even turning from the TV,

"....Did you go to collage?" Like, _rocket science collage_ perhap's?

"I know what pi equal's."

"That being?"

"Yummy-ness," He replied smileing,

"....Yes, yes it doe's." I crawled over to my room,

I'm not sure what day it is, or even if I have missed school or not. I pull myself onto my bed and tug down a Bleach calendar I put up recently, and according to Orihime it's Friday, which mean's that I can still manage to pull off the 'I didn't know we had school on friday's here' excuse, even though I've already attended on a Friday, I think I can manage to sweet-talk principal Tsunedere Tsunade into believeing me, or at least not caring enough to not yell at me, and then if all else fail's there's the automatic, 'just get the hell outta my office' part that may or may not be set into motion before I even play plan A.....No, wait.... Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, no school anyway, Okay, forget I was talking,

Okay... yup, my birthday's on sport's day, I can relax.... Oh, wait, the telepathic thing, crap,

I'm tempted to search online for answer's but instead of going all 'Bella search's Vampires' on myself then I'll just cheeeeck... Nothing on Deivant Art for the first time, okaaaay..... Sims!

I was never so thankful that Shino was such a nerd in my life, he raised the money for Sims 3 and when he got it had to share it with everybody, ex di to that! So I got on my site, and wasn't surprised that in my absense Sasuke (Usually consumed with makeing fantasy house's) had hacked onto my account and made sure to put every gay artical of clothing, every Sanjaya inspried hair-don't, and every guy-pregnancy movie on my favorite's, maybe I shouldn't make all my password's 'RamenSlurper2000'? and I thought putting capital letter's in it would _never_ allow any theif to figure it out!..... Oh, wait, maybe Shino hacked on.... Yup, must be from when I stepped on his bug's, sunglasses, _and_ accidnetally deleted the town that he had completely made from scratch and was one hundred percent perfect and- Why am I talking about Sims like a nerd? I'M A GLEEK!

Anyway, Jiraiya knock's on my door and I grunt him allowed in, "Naaaarutoooo,"

"Phone for me?"

"Nope, I'm takeing the manuskript to my editor so I need you to watch the house while I'm gone, if you leave you need to lock the door and press 6686 on the security pad under the mailbox," Whoa, nice pre-caution's,

"Why? you got gold and drug's stashed here somewhere?"

"Nah, I just have alotta fan's that would _die_ for a peek at my next novel," Jiraiya giggled, and apparently off his Coffee high left, and I made a un-needed mental note that I never again would see that man in something as decent as jean-short's and a T-shirt,

---------------Later

I played around on the computer for a while, posting a much-needed Deviant journal entry and disposeing of all the gayness Shino cursed my Sims page with. I later check on my Neopet's, yes, I have Neopet's, mainly because it's impossible for them to die and I can forget about and neglect them all I want and then go back and they'll only be sick, and then easily cured by a few trip's to the Soup Fairy. Other stuff I did was tag people with my zombie address so I could eat their brain's. In other pop culture new's I finally went to my Soul Arena game, which I got intimedated by because I kept losing once I was leveled up enough to fight people who actually knew what they were doing.... What was that other Arena game? Nakutrue Arena? I dunno, some weird anime....But yeah, Myspace, Facebook, and Tweeter or whatever are all evil..... Like Walmart and McDonald's they are all trieing to take over the world..... In case you didn't know,

While day-dreaming, I heard the door open and close and braced myself for Jiraiya, but, realizeing it's almost lunch-time, I leave my room to smooch some food-money outta him,

"You ba-" I walk into the tiny living room and a ninja seem's to be standing in the doorway, stareing at me like a deer in headlight's, "....Mr. Hatake?"

"N- wait, NARUTO!?" The totally awsome Kakashi Hatake, the Science teacher at my old school, known for wearing turtleneck's in summer that would hide his face (I will NOT tell you about the time me, Sasuke, and his one fangirl Sakura tried to see what his face looked like....) He was currently doing the same dressed intirely in black,

"....Mr. Hatake? what are you doing in my house?" I said slowly, creeped totally-frickin-out,

".....Oh! Oh my! this isn't MY house!" He said innocently, looking around, little doe's he realize that I actually know that his house is a totally awsome mansion resembleing the White House.... And under my collar is- ugh, sorry, I won't get into it now,

"Kakashi, are you a fan of my guardian's porn?"

"What! well of course not! It's just that-..... How are you Naruto?" I looked at him, but since he's my favorite ol' teacher I play along,

"...I'm fine, nice and normal, hey, I'll be seeing you in class eventually again, just need the gossip to go," I said, he seemingly smiled and waved, leaveing.

After that, I picked up my backpack, Went downstair's, locked the door with the security thingy, and voila, I leave to go nowhere

-------Later

Sight-seeing, never again in this town will I be backed into a corner and forced to go to something like 'Mr Happy's' again, I am very tempted to skip, but force myself not to,

I stop in one of those really cool-but-super-nerdy bookstore's that's a BOOKSTORE, MOVIE STORE, CAFE, AND HANG-OUT all in one... With free first-come-first-serve computer's,

I browse Manga and everything rela- is that a Anime-related energy drink? ugh, you just _know_ something's too popular when it has it's own energy drink.... And, a entire clothing line?

"Like' Ohmygod, Sasori-no-Danna look at this energy drink! Hm!" Some low-voiced blonde girl behind me sqeed,

"Eh! like' ohmygod! we SO need it now! _How about you just shut up and get what you dragged me here for?_" Her creepy boyfriend mimicked her and growled,

I run from the Pop culture and go to the actual book's, suddenly thinking that maybe I could find something to do a extra-credit book report on next time I get a bad grade, oh how smart I am, thinking ahead SO much,

"Naruto?" I turn and- DOHMIGOSHETSCOACHYROSHI!!!!!!!!!

"Coachy Roshi!!" I exclaim stupidly,

"What did you just call me?"

".... Coachy Roshi!" Arm's still in air,

"....Creative, I can see," He groan's "What'er you doing here? I didn't expect you for the 'smart type' "

"I'm here cause I have no life!" I smile, once you have a cool nickname for them, angry old people are so much fun, ex di,

"Interesting, I'm here for.... Well, let's just say Kirabi's gotten bored with his mag's,"

"Will you buy ME porn Mister Coac-"

"Don't say it, and _no_, Your brain is as fried as it is,"

"But so is Kirabi's!"

"His has no hope,"

"Neither doe's mine! trust me! I'm gonna be a good-for nothin' perverted child the rest of my life!"

He smile's, trieing not to laugh, "Good luck then! but still..... _No,_"

"You suck," I whine,

"So do tha' bunnie's Naruto. So do tha' bunnie's," I smile as he walk's past me to the check out, I follow him, and at the check out counter a li'l pink book catch's my eye, '_Make-out Paradise! Oprah bookclub and New York Times' number 1 best seller!' _and just about every other sticker you can think of, but one small area was still clean of any sticker-mania, '_Best seller's author Jiraiya Gamasage'_..... Holy frickle stickle's duck's and kitten's oh MIGHTY!!!

I look at the book, then look back at Roshi, "You have a ID with your age right?"

He look's at me surprised for a minute, "Yeah, but tha' idiot's at the DMV got the picture blanked out, why?"

I smile, "Can I borrow it?"

------Later

"Make-Out Paradise kinda doe's count as porn ya' know," He groan's,

"It doesn't have _picture's,_ though," I say, my nose burried in a book for the first time in my life,

"But it describe's sexual intercourse," He explain's, sounding like me,

"Don't try an' use big word's wit' me, we both know that we have in the past done everything possible to avoid a collage-level word in our usually kindergarden-level conversation's,"

"....You got me, It's still a dirty mag,"

"It's a _exotic novel,_" I joke, he laugh's hard like a monkey and walk's past me,

"See ya' tomarrow Naruto, all day ah was supposed ta' be helping the other teacher's put up the scoreboard from yesterday,"

"So your gonna do it now?"

"No, I'm gunna go to a church and then use it as a un-deniable alibi,"

"I saw you there!" I waved and he walked away with a noticeable skip in his step, I give in and skip home,

------Ichiraku

Jiraiya was begining his next novel (Do Author's ever, like, run outta idea's? how many book's has that damned Nora Robert's pulled out her hind'?!) So I snuck his one most famous work into my room easily,

It was actually boring at some part's, but still kept me reading, love, rejection, love again, jealousy, love, happily-ever-after with obvious sequel clue's, and not as much hard-core sex scene's that I expected, yet, strangely I wasn't dissapointed, I actually laughed at it a couple time's, everything was so childish, sounded just like Jiraiya,

But, yeah, there's my basic porn-review, I get off my lazy butt to call Sasuke, whom is probably at Iruka's by now, I play the iPod on my way down, the screaming pretty dull, but still like a nagging wife in my ear,

_I was six year's old_

_when my parent's ran away_

_I was stuck inside a world_

_I could not wish away_

_she was beautiful_

_she had everything and more_

_and my escape_

_was running out_

_and heading for the door_

_somebody listen please_

_used to be so hard, bein' me_

_Livin' in the Shadow_

_of someone else' dream_

_triein' to find a hand to hold_

_but every touch felt cold to me_

_living in a nightmare_

_of never-ending sleep_

_but now that I am wide awake_

_I can finally see_

_don't feel sorry for me,_

"Helllllo?" I said into the phone,

"Hi Naruto!" Moegi's cheery, less annoying-then-Konohamaru's voice said, "Just a second," I pulled the receiver away predicting the following "_KO-NOHAAAAAAAA-MARUUUUUUUUUUUUU NAAAAAAAAAARUTOOOOOOOOO'S ON THE PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!"_ Ow, still hurt,

"Hi Naruto! you remembered to call this time!!!"

"Yeah, well I had nothing to do today, where were you?"

"Helping your hubbie! Sasuke! pho_ooooooooooo_one!" He called, and then speaker was put on,

"Hello Naruto!" Iruka said, and I heard the distinct barking of both Akamaru and Kiba in the background,

"Hey Iruka, oh, before I forget, THANK'S SHINO! for the present you left on my Sims page!" I imagined Shino in the background fixing his glasses as he smiled inside,

"Your welcome Naruto, I'm glad you liked it," Heh, gotta remember to change all my password's,

Kiba piped up " My mom's picking me up tomarrow Naruto! I'll send you the phone number on Deviant art!"

"Got's it,"

I heard thumping down the stair's in the background and Sasuke's voice, "Hi Naruto!" Ohmygoawd did he just sound _chippy?_ THE WORLD IS ENDING!

"Sasuke? you okay?" I said, stunned,

"Yea, peachy!" He turned speaker off as Konohamaru whined and he left the room "Hi Naruto!"

"Sasuke, as you speak I'm imagineing you in a frilly pink skirt, please deny me,"

"I'm in jean's,"

"Good, now, what the hell is up?"

"Nothin' just hyper, just, yeah, an' I'm going back to the last house in a couple day's," He said, still hyped, and it was very clear he was smileing, which.... he.... is not.... known... to do......

"Annnnnd? becuuuuuuuz?"

"Cause' "

"Causssse?"

"Cause' I'm getting close,"

"Awsome, awsome, now please go back to your character Sasuke, your scareing me so much I wanna cry,"

" Kay' " Not, helping....

".....I read a porn book today,"

"Coooool,"

"...An'..... I'm sorry your still scareing me,"

"Here's the other's," He put speaker back on

"HIIIIII NARUTOOOOOOOOO!!!" Konohamaru yelled once again,

"....Hi Kono,"

-----------------------------------------------------

WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!......

Yayz XD

BUH-BYEZ! (oh, but first!)

_**Joke 'O' the Day:**_ When I was going through my old unpublished fan fic's, I found thing's I said about Naruto before I became addicted. As in back when it first aired on Cartoon Network and I only bothered to watch- ohhhh the first four episode's, cause back then I didn't like actiony stuff (And back then my favorite character's were Sakura and Iruka, my opinion on them now? Sakura: BITCH mean, snooty, obsessed little WENCH. Iruka: WHY IS HE STILL POPULAR? FOR ONE LINE HE SAID IN THE FIRST EPISODE?! HE'S FINE BUT GEEZ, WHY DON'T YA'LL VOTE FOR ANOTHER BACKGROUND CHARACTER LIKE GENMA!?) So anyway, I had made a stupid rant-Klonoa fan fic of them playing 7 Minute's in heaven, and the beginning Author's Note was- and I quote, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NARUTO 7 MINUTE'S IN HEAVEN FAN FIC'S THERE ARE ON QUIZILLA?!!?!???!?!?!?!??..... Alot, I keep getting the guy with the dog, and once I got Naruto, then the sand guy, and the one teacher (THE ONE WITH THE SCAR!! NOT THE OTHER CREEPY ONE!)" ..... Un-quote

..... I CAN'T BELIEVE I REFERRED TO MY PRESIOUS KAKASHIZ AS 'THE OTHER CREEPY ONE' I'm so sorry Kakyz I LUBZ U!..... Okay I have the same nickname for both Kakashi and Kakuzu . .... I've taken more since, Sasuke: 2(in one Sakura and Ino were pissed cause they through the party, the other Ino possesed me, but I killed myself to kill Ino cause apparently I hate her, and then Sasuke kill's himself for almost going in with Ino). Naruto: 5(His were alway's sweet ^_^ AND HE HAD A NICE CHEST IN THE ONE! I lub Naruto XD). Iruka: 2(I don't remember the one, and the other? Looking back, I realize that that was so frickin' f0cked up, I mean, he pushed me to the floor and kissed me for the whole time O_O). Shino: 2(I liiiiiike Shino, he surrounded me with butterfly's. And apparently he's cute without a jacket and sunglasses on). Kiba: 6(I'm a bitch magnet XD I have no idea how to say it, but for some reason we never got together at the end, and in one AKAMARU got more action then him). Gaara: 2(HE RAPED ME!.... and in the other we got married O_O niiiiice.... Okay, I've just decided I am NOT a Gar-fan... sorry,). Kankuro: 1(I don't remember what happened, which suck's, I wanna find it again cause he's AWSOME) and last but never the least, Shikamaru: 4(He wuz niiiiiiice, yet is a good kisser....Just what I've imagined XD I'm such a whore,)

......GO READ THE NEXT NOW! I'M DONE! I'M DONE WITH THE TALKING OF NARUTO'S HOT (Sorry, but in SOME scene's, Naruto's hotter then Sasuke) KYAA! DON'T LISTEN TO THE FAN-GIRL FANTASY'S OF ME! READ THE STORY! READ THE STORY!.... I wanna go find a Akatsuki one now XD and if I don't find one then I'LL MAKE ONE!..... crap, what's my password?..... Oh geez I just wanna find another one so I can get Naru-Chan! XD.... Sorry, please stop reading this, I'm not even listening to me..... I want to get a Sasuke one where we actually MAKE IT TO THE CLOSET.... wonder if Sasori'd rape me?....yea he would..... ohhhhh Hidan..... No, he'd be OOC.... As in he WOULDN'T kill me..... Pain would be sweet, but not do anything and explain that he love's Konan,


	8. The Baby Monster

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything in this fiction. If I did own Naruto, then... Well alot of the Akatsuki would still be alive, but it would probably suck, WE LUB YOU MASASHI KISHMOTO! YOU PISS US OFF SOMETIMES BUT WE KEEP READING CAUSE WE'RE WAITING TO FIND OUT WETHER OR NOT SASUZ REALLY GAY!

Anyway, I didn't come up with what this chapter would be about untill I started writeing it..... so, I guess I may pull of calling it 'orginal genius'.... I'm so vain XD

Shyea, on the offical Naruto website, in the fourm's there's one about 'Would Naruto becomeing Hokage and then dieing at the end be a good ending?'

Yes, hell, oh why F&%$#NG YEAH It would be epic, it would be amazing...... But, I love Naruto, SO MUCH... I would, cry, cry, for HOUR'S on end, cry, cry, probably for three day's..... I would cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry-....... I need to make a emo poem now...... cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cr-

-----------------------------------------Chapter 7: The Baby Monster

I talked to Konohamaru for a while more, and then everyone said their goodbye's, Checking my E-mail I got one from Fuu, that girl must practice or something, cause I have no Idea how to make the text in and E-mail neon pink and flash, it said that school was out again tomarrow, which make's sense since it was Saturday, so I thought she might mean Sunday, and I thought about mayb- How did Fuu get my E-mail address?

Anyway, tomarrow I might go to Iruka's and mess with everyone, I have to see Sasuke SMILE, he hasn't done that since, what? Third grade I think, and that one time when we were nine, we were walking, it started raining, and he stole my umbrella and told me to 'Run for the hill's you moron!' .... Yeah, inside joke, Choji's fault for likeing Hamster's WAY too much,

Anyway, again, Time to sleep,

-------Next day

Jiraiya must've still been on a roll with his next book cause he was still in his bedroom writeing, I already called Sasuke and told him that I'd try and make it over there, he got excited, and I had to hang up... I have GOT to see this,

I left and walked to the bus stop, I've already got the route down, and only got a cranky-knowing-my-luck-bus driver to make me nervous,

So, now I'm here, waiting..... So bored.... hm?

Course' knowing me, I'm simply not allowed to have a normal day, am I? Looking behind me at a commotion, Han is shakeing a number of people franticly, and I run over to him since they all either shout at him or run away screaming,

"Needa hand-Han??" I said, knowing there's something bad up, he mufffle's something, and I am confused, why can't he just talk? "Timmy stuck in the well?" He shake's his head, okay, well I guess that work's. We're in a tiny grass area that look's a little like a park, in the center, when Han moved, I saw was a well....well then.... nice well. Han got annoyed with my weirded-outness. And then pointed down it, oh gaaaaaaawd, your KIDDING ME?!

I run to the side, and there is of course a five-year-old lookin' kid at the bottom crieing like all-get-out, and I look up to Han, "Can you reach him?" I ask, hearing the scream's in my head get louder, he give's me a scared look, great. The big scary guy in school is actually getting nervous about something,

The screaming get's louder, and louder, untill I try in vain to just covor my ear's, my ear's tear up as I feel myself black out again. So I yell, and I don't know how loud, to Han, "Just try! I can't do anything Han! just reach down and grab him!" My eye's tear up as I try and fight the black that's engulfing my vision, everything blot's red and I feel myself lose control,

"Hnhm," Han say's faintly, and I start to come back, he shake's me and I start to snap out of it, the screaming's still loud but it's not pierceing anymore. Han's hands calm me down and I see the kid behind him,

"What happened?"

"Mister big man gotted me outta the wewl," The kid mumbled, "But," I look down and the kid's holding his bleeding hand, and I figured out why Han didn't want to do it. I got up and felt it, he whined a little, yup, broke.

"Minoru?" A lady come's by, "Minoru! where have you bee- oh my god," She whisked the kid up in less then a second, "You hollagan's, what did you do!?" She glared at me, then harder at Han,

"Hey old lady, we just got that kid out of the well! maybe _you_ should keep a better watch on him!"

"Hmpf, You children are unbelieveable," She turn's and stomp's away, the kid look's over her shoulder and waves to Han. I look over and he's faintly waveing back,

"Ugh, people are so ungreatful I could just throw an old man fit," I grumble, stomping back to the bus stop,

And, knowing me, I just had to turn around for a second, Han was still sitting next to the well looking like a kid locked outta the Candy store.... ohgaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAWD!

The bus pull's up and the door open's, inside the driver is a adorable blonde with ribbon's in her hair wearing a mini-skirt, "Hi! will you be getting on?" She said, I randomly note that her nametag read's 'Misa'

I look at her, and the nearly empty and clean bus, then turning to see poor handy-Han again, "Nah, I, change my mind," And I begin to slump back,

"Oka- Light! I let you ride for free now stop picking on Larry!" The door close's and I drag my stupid self over to Han,

"....Wanna go out for Icecream?"

---------------------Akimichi Ice-creamy

I've heard 'Akimichi' before.... ugh, where was it ag- OHHH! chocolate!

I take the cone's to the table, and I was glad yesterday I had spotted this place, "You want it?" Han take's the cone and lick's it slowly, and then I just stare, "Why don't you talk?" He pat's his neck makeing little mumbleing noise's, "Your mute?" He nodd's, "Bummer,"

Yawn, after that, we went to Nara park, which was just behind Akimichi Ice-Cream...kay'... Okay I know I've heard those damned name's before but where?

Han point's up at the tower, "Oh yeah, that's where we had to get Yugi," I said, he then pulled my attention to the sign that I couldn't see the last time, "Uzumaki? that's the tower's name?" He nodded, I pondered haveing a tower with my name as I licked my triple-chocolate-fudge-of-brownie yummieness, I played a bit of music as we strolled around,

_Don't matter what you say about life_

_I learn everytime I bleed_

_the truth is a stranger_

_sooner or later_

_I gotta let my spirit be free_

_to admit that I'm wrong_

_and then change my mind_

_sorry, but, I hafta be strong_

_and leave you behind_

_I can't waste time so hung in the moment_

_I realize, nothing is broken_

_no need to worry bout' everything I've done_

_live every second like it was my last one_

_don't look back from anew direction_

_I loved you once, needed protection_

_your still a part of everything I do_

_your on my heart just like a Tattoo_

I doooon't really like that song, just cause your famous doesn't mean you can turn away but say 'DUN WRY I WON' FRGET U HEN IM EN REHAP'..... people don't even remember who won that last Amarican Idol, really, like Miley Cirus with that stupid song 'The Climb' 'I'm just doin' it cuz I can' From the skank with a twenty-year old boyfriend, real family-oriented.... Maybe I shouldn't be so openly admitting that I listen to Miley Cirus and Jordin Sparks.... wait, who the hell's listening to me? hey alien's in my head! I LISTEN TO ASHLEE SIMPSON TOO! LALALALALALALALALA LAAAA!!

Okay, I've officaly lost it, I'll just enjoy this silent walk,

-------Later

"You sure your okay Han?" I asked when we got back to the Ichiraku, he nodded, and I couldn't help but notice the addition of a bird that had landed on his shoulder, "Okay, well, see you Monday, or, maybe tomarrow, or- " He held up his hand's with the number of day's we had off school now, so, tomarrow wouldn't have it and.... Monday will, okay, good, "Bye Han! have fun with the blue birds!" I waved and ran upstair's,

Upstair's, Jiraiya still hadn't seemed to left his room, and I pondered on how much paper he must have, I used the phone in the kitchen

"HI NARUTO!" Konohamaru said,

"Hey Kono, incase you didn't notice I couldn't make it," I leaned agenst the wall waiting for yaking,

"It's okay, Sasuke's back to his _boring _self anyway," He pressed the speaker phone

"Hi Naruto!" Iruka yelled in the background,

"Heeeey, so...."

"Kiba's gone,"

"AWSOME!"

"I know right?! I mean, I get to jump on his bed now!"

"You did that before,"

"Without him yelling at me,"

"No no Kono, Human's go, 'yell' Kiba's go, 'bark' " He laughed, "Where's Sasuke?"

"He fell asleep, I think that's what calmeded him,"

"Okay, well I'm gonna.... Do my homework now.... See ya Kono! BYE EVERYBODY WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE LISTENING!!!" Konohamaru then try's the old 'WAIT I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU!' but I hung up anyway, cause I'm mean,

ON THE INTRO-WEB Kiba sent me his phone number... Hm, what's this?

opening another message, it was from a 'MustangTelo111'

I got three link's too Jordin Sparks download's, Ashlee Simpson, and Miley Cirus... and then 'Thank's for the Ice cream'

........ And into unconciousness I go,

_THUNK_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

XD Dyahahahhahahahahahahaaa!!!!!

.....I needed some Cameo's XD Minoru and his mean Granny from Shojo Beat's 'Baby & Me' and then Misa, Light, and L from obviously Death Note (Calling L 'Larry' is a inside joke reader's of Shonen jump may or may not understand XD)

And yes, I wrote this whilst I was listening to Jordin and Ashlee, Miley I hate like I do Sakura (with a thriveing passion) and I had to throw my opinion into Naruto's head, cause I'm a Mary-Sue bitch,

I've also currently read 'Punk Rock Etiquette' and have a band with Me(Lead Singer) Naruto(Guitar) Sasuke(Bass/Male Singer/Frontman) Shikamaru(Drums/Techie) Choji(Tour Support AKA 'Roadie' but don't call him that) Lee(Booker) Kankuro(Recorder) and Kiba(Keyboard/Other Guitar/Roadie/Anything else we need) ..... Because I'm a Mary-Sue bitch

We are known as..... The Rogue Heroes...... OH YEAH BABY! THREE DOOR'S DOWN AND PINK MEET TOKIO HOTEL AND SIMPLE PLAN!!!! (Sorry for short chapter by the way)


	9. The Strange Monster

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything..... I LUB YOU NARUTO!

I lub Naruto so much..... Okay YOU KNOW WHAT!? I just replaced him as my top favorite, SRY SHIKA! UR SECOND

Shikamaru:.... Whatever.....

Now, so that this Author's note isn't longer then this supposed-to-be-short chapter, let's hit it,

---------------------Chapter 8: The Strange Monster

After I woke up, I quickly deleted the message and rocked back and forth, then I recovored and finally left my room by around- three. So, I used the no-school day to wander again, remembering about exploreing Yagura's backyard,

I came around the back, paranoid that he had camera's and trip wire everywhere, and I found it easier then I thought to find the place again,

So, once again, the place was as unworldly- don't wanna use the word- _beautiful_ as before, (Ew, ew, ew, must, do, manly, thing's, when, home, BOOB'S!)

Only now, there was something out in the water, on the giant lilypad's I got closer and Utakata was sitting on one meditateing, " Uta?"

"Hello Naruto, please give me a moment," After a moment he stood up and walked 'fluidly' across the pad's and stopped infront of me "Greeting's Naruto, It's nice to see you here, I come here often to sit, meditate, do nothing, and question the meaning of life," He said calmly, I stared at him for a few moment's before opening my mouth

"The meaning of life is to live,"

".....That is a beautifal and surpriseingly simple yet true aspect of why God created us," He grapped my face and kissed my head, "Will you be one of my close friend's?"

".....Sure,"

"Splendid, I'll go back to my meditation now, feel free to frolick as long as you want," He went back to his 'pad' and after a few more minute's of stareing I stepped backword's to leave

I actually forgot where I was going and ended up in Yagura's backyard with him infront of me, "I won't ask," I said,

"Good, cause I don't have an answer," I walked passed him and walked zombie-like to Ichiraku, and when I got there I passed out clean on the kitchen floor

------------------------------------------

Shyea, it's supposed to be short and weird, that's the point

Next chapter will be posted soon, but I AM kinda gonna get side-tracked with another fan fic that I _want _to want to update just as much.... I suggest you don't read it, (Dammit Naruto! your possible death is makeing me all depressed!)

Naruto: Sorry? I'll try and not die?

Me: DAMMIT! YOU BETTER NOT YOU!...YOU!.....IDIOT!!!!

Naruto: Eh, Sakura attack, okay, No die, fine.... I'm scared now honestly,


	10. The Perfect Monster

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, or anything else

Shyea, last chapiter wuz, WEIRD

But, yes, this SHOULD be just as weird with the addition of 'ZOMG' and then it will be long sooooooooo.... I HOPE it's long.

I have no Idea what to write now, but... Wait, they're going to school..... Okay I'm getting it,

Slight Angst and Emo for this chapter, so shyea, YAYZ.......

I'm still depressed about the whole 'Naruto death thing' ..... which might be because I wrote that only five minute's ago XD I''m on a ROLL! I wanna get this done so i can work on the sucky no-plot SEQUEL!

--------------------------Chapter 9: The Perfect Monster

Okay, so, last night I woke up long enough to call Kono and everybody, but, Sasuke had left again... Wha,

And he wasn't on anything on the computer, so, wha,

And, I'm really bored and annoyed to say that I'm worried, wha, wha, wha, wha, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

_City sleep's and we're lost in the moment_

_another kiss as we're lying on the pavement_

_if they could see us they would tell us that we're crazy_

_But I know, the just don't understand_

_close your eye's and please don't let me_

_go, go, go,_

_don't let me go now_

_Close your eye's and don't let me let you_

_go, go, _

_go_

_Take my hand tonight_

_let's not think about tomarrow_

_Take my hand tonight_

_we can find someplace to go_

_cause our hearts will live forever_

_and our love will never die_

_so Take my hand, tonight_

_one last time_

Today, as I get ready for school, I leave my room and Jiraiya's finally stopped writeing,

"Miss me?"

"Yup,"

"I'm sorry sweetum's," We look at eachother for a while and I hear a low rumble,

"When was the last time you ate?" I asked stareing wide-eyed,

"When'd I start writeing?"

"Over three day's ago!!"

".... Around three day's ago," I look at him for a few second's.... one, two, three,

"WELL GO EAT SOMETHING!"

"Okay! okay! geez, no need to be so PUSHY!" He follow's me down and wave's as I leave and he get's a much-needed mega bowl of ramen,

-------------School

Ahhh, Kurenai Yuhi's class, nice, calm, math with a pretty lad-

"Hello everyone," Principal Tsunade walk's in and sit's down, "Miss Kurenai Yuhi hurt her back putting up the scoreboard from-... What was it Friday I think?....-S incident.... So I'll be teaching today since... Well... No sub,"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Me and three or four other guy's yell,

"....Do you _darling_ little _delight's_ object? cause you know I _could_ just go ahead and cancel Math today," Kid's cheered, but, being experianced with the wrath of Tsunade I just waited for her to finish... smart thing "Then causeing _each _of you _little delight's _to _FAIL!"_ yeees.... I'm a _smart_ boy,

....Tap, tap, tap, tap, yeeeees Fuey?

"What?" I turn around to Fuu whose tapping me rapidly

"Will you come over to my house today?" She asked, still tapping me,

"....Uh, sure, I guess," I almost half-expected her to live in a huge mansion like the other's, till' I remembered how she lived in a orphanage like me,

She smiled and leaned back in her seat, I payed attention in Math because I just suck in every aspect of life, but she's seemingly consentrateing on getting her pencil to stand on it's tip-which-it-is....... Note to self, bring up the 'wizard' theory to Yagura,

"_Fuu darling, please look up,_" I almost trailed it off as a stray thought till I realized that Tsunade had whispered it under her breath, just like Kurenai had on my first day, I turned back to Fuu and she's sitting up streight looking at Tsunade smileing. And her pencil is still standing up,

-------------RDC Meeting Room

"An' then, she wus all like '_Yo yo yo homie-o, I wus only followen' yo-yo-yo,'_ an' et was real deeminging, duh, that's the word right?" As Killer Bee ranted about how a girl in his class was rapping better then he was, I kept my eye's on Fuu, they trailed to everyone else, whom, no one was really listening to his story. Yugito seemed to be in a playful personality as she tried to pick her nose with her tounge, Gaara's emotionless was switched with sheer boredom as I guessed he was still trying to decipher the scoreboard incident, Yagura seem's to be a maschonisty-guy thingy, since he's biteing his arm right now, Utakata smiled as I think he was in his own little world, and Roshi waved at me, along with Han whom is still creeping me out, I was about to list off everything untill Fuu spoke, bringing my attention back to her,

"How's your stay here been Naruto?" She asked, sounding strangely normal,

"Uh, cool, I guess, but I think we all can agree that these few week's have been a little off, if you know what I mean," Right when I let out that little winged-demon named honesty out, Gaara slumped in his chair, Han rolled his eye's and blushed, Killer smiled nervously and Yugito tilted her head, either in a stupid personality or honestly not knowing what I was talking about since she had amnesia from the three strangest day's,

"Yeah, we didn't really have the finest trans' for you," Roshi said, "But, at least ya' didn't run away screaming likea' small child,"

"I thought about it," A number of them smiled, and I had a twingeing feeling that they wouldn't have done such had not for me, but I've done enough gay speech's and sweet intimate thought's this month so I'll just shut up and let nature take it's course,

"Naruto's gonna come to my house today!" Fuu exclaimed cheerfully, and then everybody stiffened up with shock, even with Yugito it seemed that that sentance made her switch to a more serious personal,

"Will you really Naruto?" Yugito asked nervously, but trying not to make that obvious, although I don't think Fuu has that sort of attention span (As in, a 'working one')

" Uh, shyea," And in that moment where everyone finally sat silently I knew I still had a bit to learn,

--------------Hebi's house

Remember 'Mister Happys'? all the lunatic kid's runnin' around like little devil's? well-

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!" Kid's ran screaming and shouting, Fuu walked through the chaos with ease, and I attempted to follow but had kids running me over left and right,

Fuu jumped onto the railing and swung herself onto the steps, I made a mad dash to them and tripped only four times, "This is normal here?"

"Actually no, their pretty calm today 'cause of your company," She informed,

-----Fuu's room

I was surprised to all-get-out that Fuu actually had a room to her own, a big one too, it was almost the size of Yagura's, it was shades of pink, green, and red with hearts and white. Her bed had a canopy and despite the perfection of the room it was messy, there were little kid toy's scattered around the floor and I smelled pizza coming from somewhere, "Nice.... place..." Was all I could think of,

" 'Elcome!" She gleed,

It ran past my mind of what Killer-Bee said when I first came, Fuu through her first fit and went loco, got in trouble, made press apparently and the orphanage got all the puplicity, which probably mean's that Fuu's insanity plea got them charity money. Iruka's orphanage was pretty poor really, four to five kid's need to share room's and Iruka has the youngest kid's and a few baby's when they come with him in his room, we all get in the free lunch line at school and raise our own money whenever we want something. Sasuke doe's chores all over the town, old ladys love him as much as the ones his own age do, and you don't wanna know how many Family Guy joke's I throw at him when he deliver's paper's. Then he gives all the money to Iruka to help with bills and food costs..... Damn I feel like shit now,

Fuu's stareing at me, I need to talk now, "Uhh, so, what ya wanna do?" She perks up

"Twister!"

Hello back pain

-----------Dinner

Kids had been running in and out of her room as we played a never-ending game, note to self, never come to Fuu's house again, and albino girls are _very_ flexable. So I don't really have to say who won,

The dining room was gianormous, about fifty chairs on each side with a table longer then-.... Longer then something really really long, and each chair was filled, there seemed to be two maid's and then the owner who looked more like the owner of the Playboy mansion then a Little kid's orphanage with his velvet robe, grey hair and pipe,

"It's nice to welcome some company," He said, he sounded _reaaaally_ cocky, and looked a li'l like a pedo, "Please, help yourself to whatever you like,"

---------Later

I ate, talked a little, and kept my fat mouth shut. That place was completely useing Fuu for it's own gain when it really, really doesn't need it. In my head I couldn't stop telling that money-hungry guy off, but then for some reason I couldn't speak. Fuu quietly ate her food, and my heart broke a little,

Crap, gay moments again. The screams start getting louder, they're quiet compared to the other times but I can't seem to control myself right now anyway,

_I fall asleep by the telephone_

_it's two o'clock and I'm waiting up alone_

_tell me where have you been?_

_I found a note with another name_

_You blow a kiss but it just don't feel the same_

_Cause I can feel that your gone_

_I can't bite my tounge forever_

_While you try to play it cool_

_you can hide behind your storys_

_but don't take me for a fool_

_You can tell me that there's nobody else_

_but I feel it_

_you can tell me that your home by yourself_

_but I see it_

_you can look me in the eye and lie all you want_

_but I know, I know,_

_your love is just a-_

_lie, lie,_

_your nothing but a, lie, lie,_

I leaned agenst the railing on Fuu's balcony, my iPod volume at the max, but somehow I could still hear the cricket's and Fuu's fast, tiny feet walking up behind me, "Hatcha' doin' Naruto?" She asked, still just as happy as earlier,

"I have a question," Not the most casual one, but one none the less.

"What?"

"Are you happy here?" I turn my head only enough to see the corner of her face,

"Course!" She gleed

"Is there anywhere where your happier?"

She skips to my side, looking up at the stars, "Well, at school. When I'm with you and everybody else!" I look at her, feeling dumb-founded and seventy-five percent gay. "That's when everything's the best!" She winked,

Looking at her some more, thousands of thoughts run through my head. Actually blocking out the screams, I smile realizeing what I have to do. "I'll head out now," I stand up and peck her cheek, leaveing the room then the house.

"Come back anytime," One of the maids call, and the screaming starts.

-----------Ichiraku

I went straight to the pay-phone dialing a number I hadn't realized that I had memorized, "Hello?"

"Naruto? gawwwd, glad you called," Anko's surpriseingly calm voice said on the other line,

"Sasuke's there right?"

"Yeah, that's why I'm glad you...did, well," She stops and I wait for her to take the phone to Sasuke, I hear her knock and tell him he has a phone call, and then he picks up and Anko puts down her line.

"Yeah?" Sasuke's voice sounded tired and hourse,

"You okay?" I ask, already knowing the answer,

"Fine," He lies,

"What's wrong?"

"...I found my old photo album,"

After fifteen minutes of just standing there silently, makeing quiet conversation and just listening to him breathing, my heart shattered in piece's and screaming ringing in my ears. I call another number before Konohamaru,

"Namikaze Police Department,"

"Yes, I wanted to report a case of possible child neglect and mistreatment,"

---------------------------------------------------------

NOT AS LONG AS I WANTED AND MORE EMO THEN EXPECTED,

But don't worry, all this drama mean's the next chapter's gonna be comic relief. And I KNOW it's gonna be long,

Next chapter is Kirabi's, KILLA BEE BABY! WHOO! XD his student Karui beat the shit outta Naruto ya' know,

ONLY FOUR CHAPTERS LEFT! KIRABI'S, NARUTO'S, CLIMAX, AND EPILOUGE! ALMOST DONE! ALLLLLLLLMOST DONE! ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLMOST DONE WITH MY FIRST ACTUALLY DECENT STORY THAT HAS AN ACTUAL PLOT! ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST DONE!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BABY! RANDOMNESS! I LUB YOU NARUTO!!!! WHOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	11. Da' Coolest Monsta'

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, the songs, or anything else, THANKYA MASASHI! FOR JUST BEING AWSOME!

Hyper

_**WARNING!!!!! READ ME! READ ME! READ ME IF YOU WANT ANY OF THIS TO MAKE SENSE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!**_

_**WARNING!**_

_**READ ME!**_

_**HERE HERE LOOKIT MEH!**_

_**RIGHT HERE!**_

_**READ ME!**_

_**NOT A CHAINLETTER!**_

_**READ ME ME ME!**_

_**READ READ READ READ READ READ READ READ READ READ READ READ ME!**_

_**HI RIGHT HERE!**_

_**LOOK!**_

_**RIGHT HERE!**_

_**THIS THING RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!**_

_**YOU NEED TO READ ME!  
HI!**_

_**HEY! WOO-HOO! READ ME!**_

_**IMPORTANT!**_

_**IMPORTANT!**_

_**IMPORTANCE TO THE MAX!**_

_**READ THIS THING RIGHT HERE!!!**_

_**SEE? THIS THING!**_

_**RIGHT HERE AT THE BOTTOM!**_

_**RIGHT HERE DAMMIT!**_

_**THIS |/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/**_

_**\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/**_

_**\/ \/ \/ \/ \/**_

_**\/ \/ \/**_

_**\/ \/**_

_**\/**_

_**NAMES HAVE CHANGED!**_

Hebi is now Fuu. Taikun is now Yagura. Taifuu is now Utakata. And Yu is now Han..... Damn you Masashi Kishimoto,

----------------------------Chapter 10: Da' Coolest Monster

Tuesday, police go to Fuu's place and find out that alot of the kids were adopted from _other_ orphanages so the owner could get more money from charity.

Wednesday, I'm called off school to testify, owner pleads guilty because of a bargain that he'll tell police where the childrens records are.

Thursday, I return to school and Yugito glomps me for helping save Fuu,

Today, Friday, everything's normal. And Roshi actually ended up adopting Fuu, I leave the RDC meeting calm, and normal, I also ponder if I get my name in the paper or not,

"NARATO!" Thunderous steps and children screaming signal Killer Bee running up to catch me. He runs infront of me and does the pointy-finger-Happy-Days pose, "Rap time!"

"What is it today Killer?"

"I don' know!" I stare at him for a few moments, makeing a mental note that everything is definitly back to as normal as normal can be. "That's why I'm here!"

"....Are you supposed to be makeing sense?"

"Not yet!" He does another un-comparable pose and I listen, "Alls I can start out wit' is, member' me rappin' tha personals of all mah otha homies?"

"....Ya mean when you were all like- _'Mah name es Knuckles, unlike Sonic I don' wanna chuckle, I'd rather flex mah muscles,'_ " Yes, Me and Kiba are mayjor Sonic fans, but please, don't ask if we cosplayed, slash took advantage of our Sims game,

"YEA!" He yelled, and I continued to listen, scared at the fact that he actually does seem to somehow make sense to me,

"What about it?"

"Well, I liketa make a rap bout' all mah homies, buh' I can't seem ta thinka one for ya!"

"Have you tried watching South Park?"

"Oh, ah love chef but dah' ain' workin'." He said smileing to himself, and I imagined him in the outfit....Heheh, Chocolate salty balls, heheh, "Anyway! I wasa wonderin' if maybe ya' could allow me ta' follow ya' around for a bit, ya' know, geta' knowya' bettah' " The thought of getting stalked by a rapping indian scared me a little, but I nodded my head not wanting to know what'd happen if I said no, Killer Bee seems to be one of the most normal outta the group, so not _too_ much'll happen with him around.... right?

---------------------Ichiraku

"HELLA BRAH!" Killer greeted the for-once weirded out Jiraiya when we got home, I was already tired! HE FRIGGIN' KEPT ASKIN' ME WHY I TOOK A SECOND LOOK AT THE DOG ON THE WAY HOME AND WHY I WALKED THE WAY.... THAT....I...... WALKED!

".....Welcome, my good company, would you like a fruit cup?" Jiraiya greeted like a dignified gentlemen.....Ohmygawd,

"Dah man I would buh' I needstah' keep mah eyes an' senses on Naratoh," He said, Jiraiya replied with a smile followed by jumping backwards onto the counter and danceing like the retarded maniac he is. I love my extended family, but if my company's gonna think I'm weird I want it to be cause I was running repeatedly into the wall.... Because my dear mind-reading alien friends slash Han, insanity is where you do the same thing over and over and expect diffrent results.... Boo-yah, ba-be,

I then run into my own door because I'm retarded, and because I kinda want Killer to get freaked out and leave, but I forget that this guys apparently psychotic, and not effected by my anti-normalness,

----------------------Later

"So' Narahtoh? Why is yer room all orange likeyer hair?" He asked holding up a notepad sitting on my floor as I leaned agenst the wall on my bed, no longer careing about my mental health,

"This place was decorated by my insane godfather so apparently from what he said my moms favorite color was orange," I answered every damn question he through at me, why? cause I no longer have a life,

"Now who wuset thah' put tha' fool Jirai' as her goddaddy?"

"JIRAIYA! WHICH ONE OF MY PARENTS SAID YOU COULD BE THE GODDADDY!?" I yelled,

Jiraiya jumped into the room and did jazz hands, followed by his answer, " Your dear departed father told me during brunch that he loved my book 'Tales of a Gutsy Ninja' and that he wanted you raised to be just like the main character, then stateing that he would name his son, you darling sweetheart, after the character, your beautiful mother came in and agreed and I laughingly stated that that would make me the godfather, and your father replied with that it would be an honor for you too ever be raised, and it was probably my fault for leaveing town right after that that caused you to go to a orphanage when you parents found they couldn't spoil you as much as they wanted," He skipped backwards out and I turned back to Killer Bee,

"......What's yer fav' gem?"

"The light blue ones,"

---------------------------Later again

Two-thirty in the morning, and, I'm, going, crazy,

"Whas yer favorite sad rememberin' song?"

"...._Yawwwn,_ Freeze by Jordin Sparks,"

"Favorite sad slasha happy song?"

"I dunno, Take my Hand by Simple Plan?"

"Why?"

"Cause-"

"I mean why Freeze?"

"....Well that's cause I imagine a buncha old pictures falling down and fadeing each time it goes '_Freeeeeeeeze, the moment_"

"Now why Take mah' Han'?"

"Cause I secretly watch gay porn when no one's looking, can I call my friends now so the eight-year-olds don't get pissed at me again?"

"M'kay!"

I stumble out of the room after haveing been in the same position for over three hours, (The last time I picked my nose it was at least midnight) Killer obviously followed me, and since it was my first time being up this late here I was very surprised to see that Jiraiya had actually gone to bed. I picked up the phone, and I don't know how it was that I thought somebody would still be up this late.

I cursed under my breath and Killer Bee apparently took intrest in the exact word I used since he seemed to write it down, I dialed Sasuke's foster house number but it picked up before my mind registered hanging up,

"Yeessss? Anko the totally sweet n' sour princess of snakes and puppys here?" Cooed the voice of the 'darling' lunch lady, I smiled knowing she was crazy enough not to be pissed at me for calling so late,

"Hey, I had a messed up sch-med-ual, is Sasuke still up?"

"Probably! I was watching porn on the big screen and I heard his door open," The giddy footsteps showed she skipped over to her next destination, she then swore after realizeing that she had a corded phone and I heard her pick up the cordless (How many phones do they have in one room?) "Sasuke-Kuny! you on the pooper?" She cooed sadisticly,

I heard Sasuke's signature grunts and a door open "Hey,"

"Hi Sasuke!" I said with (almost) un-intended enthusiasum. I smacked my head as Killer wrote something else in the notepad that apparently ISN'T FULL YET, "....Hat'cha doin?" I said not sure if he was still emo,

"Othin' " Well, he sounds like he's in his bored 'Why the hell are you calling me at three in the morning?' mood voice that I hear so often,

"Ell'...... Why you up so late?" So very curious. Not that I don't remember the thousands of times we stayed up all night watching Nip Tuck re-runs and drinking a giant jug-o-coca-cola-o. Or the first time when it was unintentional and me and Sasuke were just innocently seeing how many times we could follow a trail of ice cubes from the kitchen to the living room on the rug of which was coated with salt for reasons I don't recall.... Okay, enough remembering I don't wanna sound too em-ZOMG I WANNA GO HOME!!!

".....Stuff," He sounded tired to all-get-out but not any more emo then usual...... Damn if only those bitchy hormonal witches had left poor Cole alone he wouldn't a had a break down and slept with Rosie O'Donnel! damn, that show was annoying..... I'm off track again huh?

Anyway, I can't think of a thing to say and Killer Bee's I think's starting to take it the wrong way, I sneak my hand up (Not that he can't obviously see what I'm doing) and press speaker phone, "So, uh, anyway, nice haveing this fruitful conversation with you my man,"

"...Is someone else there?" Sasuke asks. Killer Bee now seems to be writeing his opinion on Sasuke's voice down,

"Yea, there's a indian rapper guy stalking me and all that normal crap," I say, stareing at the expression of dumb-founded wonder on Killer's face,

"....Okay then," He yawns and hangs up on me, I pout like someone's watching but remember that Killer Bee is right next to me of course, I dial Iruka's number completely forgetting about speaker phone like the idiot I am,

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINARUTOITHOUGHTYOUHADFORGOTTENTOCALLMEAGAINBUTYOUDIDNTYAYHINARUTOHIHOWYADOIN!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Konohamaru yelled before the phone even had the chance to ring,

Then, Jiraiya bursts through his door screaming, Me and Killer discovor he sleeps in the nude, Jiraiya screams like a banshee and jumps out the closed window, I put the phone down for a second because I can hear Konohamaru still rambleing on and on about what sounds like his lunch. Me and Killer get to the window and Jiraiya's full moon is sticking up and he's face down on the pavement. He then calmly gets up, brushes the dust off, pulls a piece of glass out of his side, and walks back up,

I stand there and Killer randomly jots down things in the notebook, I look up and twirl around when the door opens. Jiraiya smiles and waves at me and walks back into his Purple bedroom where he then closes the door and within seconds I hear snores. Killer continues to write and then points to the phone that still has un-intellige-id-abley words comeing out that I somehow understand,

I walk over slowly and pick it up, "Kono?"

"YEA!?"

"....I'm gonna go to bed now m'kay?"

"........OKAYTHANKSFORTALKINGNARUTOYOURMYBESTFRIENDBYE!!!" Konohamaru hangs up and I fall backwards, Killer Bee now seems to be writeing down how I chose to crawl back into my room and fall asleep,

----------------Five in the Morning

I wake up, sprawled onto my bed with the covor I half-dragged onto me before I passed out. I intended to roll-over and fall back asleep untill looking up mid-roll showed me that Killer Bee was standing on my head-board looking down on me writeing in his still-not-full-notepad,

I scream and jump to the other side of the bed, makeing the wrong move since it was reveiled to me that Jiraiya 'doesn't like' loud noises as he screamed from his room again, ran into my room (In the nude of course) Jumped out my window, but suceeded in opening it first, jumped down, made a big thud, and after a few minutes of stunned silence I heard Ayame scream, him walk back up the stairs, open the door, go into his room, and start snoreing......

"...... Now do ya' regularly wake up this early or didcha' jus' have a bad sch-med-uals?" He asked, I fell back hitting my head on the bedframe, I screamed like a little girl, fell to my side, hit the wall, screamed again, and then forced myself forward to pass out again.... I heard scribbleing,

--------------Later

I woke up glad with the fact that Orihime-the-Calendar said Saturday. Like expected, my head didn't hurt anymore, I pondered my resent boost in recovory time as I turned to my side and saw Killer Bee lying next to me in my bed..... _my _bed,

"....Are we comfy?" I said with a raspy voice, I felt about to cry as Killer wrote more down in the notepad,

"Yah' I jus' wan'ed a close-up ofyar sleepin' habits.....Ya kick in yer sleep,"

"Yup," All the time,

"An' talk," Only when stres- I DID WHAT?!?!?!?!?

"I DID WHAT!?!?" I closed my eyes tight as Jiraiya once again started screaming, ran into my room, jumped out the still open window.... You get the deal, ".....What'd I say?"

"Somin' like 'sha up geh ou' then a li'l moans of 'Saska' Saska' " Oh good, I don't know what a Saska is...... wait, OHMYGAWD NOT AGAIN!

Yea, I dream about Sas_uke_ often, expecially resently, but when I started forgetting more and more of my dreams, I blamed it on stress and bad sleeping. But I also haven't been expecting 'sleepovers' anytime soon. And so, it was nine-year-old me in camp again, when I was rattleing off adventures of me and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I woke up and everybody was singing the song and laughing at me..... Ohgawd, flashbacks, flashbacks, flashbacks,

-------------Later

I didn't register anything after my flashback montage, but I came to and we were downstairs with Ramen infront of us, Jiraiya calmly slirped down his bowl because of the lack-o-females and Killer took notes,

"....How long was I out?"

"Ah Narato! yos were in anotha' worldfer bout' three hours," Hm, no wonder I was able to covor all of the forth grade.... Damn my life sucks, good thing I don't have low sefl-esteem or else I'd be crieing,

"How ya' doing Naruto!" Jiraiya slirped his last noodle, "Your friend Killer Bee was just tellin' me about your sleep!" Oh, my, gawd.... More flashbacks, more flash-o-backs-o!....'s........ ZOHMYGAWDZ! NOT THE WHEELBARREL! NOT THE WHEELBARREL!

"NOT THE WHEELBARREL! SASUKE!" I fell backwards (Again) and then realized I was saying it aloud again..... Killer, Jiraiya, Ayame, Teuchi and a number of customers stared at me, I looked behind me out the window maybe hopeing they'd think I had special needs and leave me alone,

I stared out the window and two people passing by caught my eye, I coulda swore in the daybreak sunlight the one guy that was laughing at me was blue. But then I saw the other guy, and for a split second I got locked on red eyes,

----------------Later again

I woke up on the tiny couch in the living room. Immidiantly thinking back and trieing to remember, the two guys had left as fast as they appered, but then I couldn't think of what had made me black out,

I remembered the screaming, I hadn't been being bothered by it but it seemed like maybe I was too used to it bringing me down. I felt just like the other times when I'd blacked out but there was the smallest diffrence, like instead of the darkness when I woke up everything was redder,

Killer Bee still wrote on his notepad but had one hand holding a washcloth on my head. In the background I focused almost annoyingly hard on makeing out Jiraiya on the phone,

"Op! sleeping booby's awake!" Jiraiya skipped over mumbleing 'Here he is' into the phone and handed it to me,

"Ello'?" I groaned,

"Hey Naruto! you feeling alright?" Iruka's trying-not-to-be-worried-voice said in my ear,

"I'm fine, just tired, haven't been sleeping right lately, my fault," I said honestly, still half-asleep,

"Okay Naruto, now your sure that's all it is?"

"Yeah Ruka' I'm fine," _Yaaaaaawn,_ just TIRED,

"Okay Naruto, but, could you do something for me real quick?"

"Shyea, sure, what?"

".... Talk to Sasuke for a bit," He sounded about as tired as I feel, he handed the phone away and I sat up. I didn't think Sasuke'd be up so late last night and then go back to Iruka's.

"Ello?" Sasuke actually sounded cheery, which I wasn't sure if that what was scareing Iruka,

"Ey' Sasuke, whatcha' doin?"

"Nothing, just wanted to visit here for a little bit," He sounded zombie-ie too, but I couldn't put my finger on the emotion, "You pass out again loser?"

"Shyeaup, an' I feel like shit right now," I looked up and Killer was writeing rapidly on the notepad, "now, I'd love to compare dresses for the dance darling, but,_ yaaaaawwwn,_ I'm tired, and I wanna go to sleep now,"

"Okay sweetheart!" He said, and I suddenly got the sick feeling of maybe he's been hanging out with Anko too much. Oh, gawd, the worlds, the two totally opposite worlds are crashing, zomygosh, one has too much gas, zomygoshzomygoshzomygoshz I want my mommy, "Buh-bye Naruto!"

I pulled the phone away, but when I did and Iruka echoed Sasuke, I figured out that speaker phone was still on....

"Can ah' have anotha' pencil?" Killer asked Jiraiya as he held up a-... what was now a lone eraser.

"M'kay sweetheart!" Jiraiya skipped over to the kitchen, opened a drawer and through a pencil at Killer who then continued writeing, and I started to notice how not only was the speed he was writeing comical, but it was also, and this is me talking, logicly _impossible,_

_Knock Knock Knock_

Jiraiya answered the door with a anti-normal 'ELLO SIRE! WELCOME TO MAH HUMBLE HIVE!'. And the only reply were muffled chuckles, then a diffrent voice said something

"I saw that boy pass out earlier, I just wanted to check out and see if he was alright," The soft voice sounded vaguely familiar, I looked up as far as I could but once again. The only thing I saw before I passed out again were the same red eyes, and for a moment the screaming, the pressure feeling, and all of everything was gone, and all I could feel was peace, and how tired I really was.

---------Killer Bee's POV

Huh? Narato's konked out again, just like that ina' flash. Ah' well, just gonna continue writeing everah' thing ah' think of, good thing ah' write so fast.... Wonder if I should turn to the next page soon?

Anyway, Jirai' mah' man's lettin' those weird goons from earliar in. And I dunno why buh' that one guy es-

_Blue blue, dablu-de-dah-blu-dah, man mah homie ova there sure is lookin' fly. So blue lika big blue berrah' he's lookin' kinda slimey but not really hairay._

Ah' man! dog why can't I just do that wit' Narato? come up with a nice li'l ryhme, I feel lika' fool wit' the busted up ryhmes- _Why is it tha' I can't jus' look wit' mah' eye? Narato's pretty much, like, two or mor' otha' guys, why es it not like all tha' otha' times? ya' fool ya' fool, Killa Bee is sucha fool, can' even find a ryhme for this mah' fella' fool! Whatta life!_

..... Yup, lost mah' mind there again. That otha guy, the non-blue one, has dark hair bout' Yugi's length, and creepy lookin' eyes. He leaned over tah' Narato, an' jus' brushed his head n' face. He looked'd up at me an' grinned, then walkin' ovah' to Jirai' "He's been under great deals of stress, let him sleep for awhile and he'll be good as new," Tha' guy smiled at Jirai' and jus' left. Weird-i-o-o-os

--------Later _once again, _Naruto's POV

Oh my gawd I'm actually pissed at myself! What's up? I can't friggin' stay awake two seconds and the-...... Holy crap it's still morning?

I feel as good as new, like friggin' magic or somethin' and the screaming was actually completely silent. For a few seconds, there was one sharp pierce and it started back up again like turning on a car, and I realized just how much it really effected me,

Now it was like thousands of people screaming, diffrent pitches, tones and voices. Almost like a friggin' carnifal ride in my damn head, the sudden burst was starting a headache and I looked around the room for a distraction.

"HEY NARUTO!"

"HIYA NARATO MAH HOMIES!!!" The beat of Jiraiya and Killer's voices put two breaks in the sound but it still thumped in my ears once they were done. I focused on their faces blocking it out and wishing for a endless conversation,

"How long was I out?" I asked, and the screams thudded out with my voice too,

"Three hours tha' firs' time, then ya' werse out for anotha' three," Killer answered. Okay, I find it hard to believe three hours of sleep made up for all my sleep deprivation but I feel fine,

"...What happened to the guy that was here?"

"Ah those boys! that kid said he was certified in first, second and thrid-aide and said all you needed was sleep!"

"Shyea' an' they left sooner hen' they came," Killer said with his arms behind his back looking into space.... He's finally... stopped..... writeing....

"...You run out of room Killer?"

"...Huh? nah' I jus' wan'ed ta-...... WAIT FERYA!!!!" He jumped across the room like a man dodgeing a bullet for the president, went through the kitchen and grabbed his notebook, hitting his head on the counter. He jumped up like nothing happened and skipped back over to us, ".... Why ya' look so confused?"

".... I, don't, know," He scribbled on the notebook and didn't stop for five minutes, "..... Dude, is there anything more you need?"

"Hm? wella' was thinkin' thatcha' could spen' tha nigh' at mah place now!" ..... Why do I see porn everywhere?

---------At a time after that one,

"The.... bus?"

"Shyea, I takit' everyday," Oh gawd, oh gawd, oh gawd, oh gawd, last, time, took, public, bus, oh gawd, oh gawd, oh gawd,

--------Flashback-Sasuke's POV

"Naruto!" I hopped up and down waiting for Naruto to kick it into gear.

Yesterday we rode the bus to Sakura-Chan's house, and we're going back cause I forgot my Gameboy, and I think Naruto's going really slow cause on the way back last night there was the goonies from downtown! Naruto's got secret clausterphobia so I think that sitting in the back of the rickity tiny-bus didn't help either,

"Naruto hurry up!" I said again, he was still pretty much in the same spot he was before, give or take a few centimeters. "The bus will be here in five minutes!"

"Oh yeah!? well how's it you know that!?" He whined, like usual. I held up my hand with my Digimon watch and Naruto pouted, he still can only tell time with digital clocks,

"Hurry up Naruto!"

"Shut up! you just said that you- you-... butt-head!" I laugh and Naruto's face turns several shades of red.

He runs up and attempts to wack me, but I just step to the side and he trips, " Are we alright Naruto?"

"....Syea," He sits up and pouts. The bus finally comes and the door opens to _Mr. Ibiki Morino,_ our super-scary gym teacher from second grade,

I hear Naruto squeak and shudder, from the size and clean-smell this is one of the more deluxe buses, but Naruto has always been scared of Morino-Sensei,

"Sasuke! it's nice seeing you again!" He smiles at me and I smile back (Where as for me, Morino-Sensei was one of my favorite teachers cause he's really nice out of class) He looks down at Naruto, and puts on a playful demented expression from under all his war-scars on his face, "Hello, _Naruto Uzumaki,_"

"Hi Morino-former-Sensei!" I call, looking down at Naruto he looks about to pee his pants,

"H-h-h-h- YES SIR!"

Naruto runs on past him, I step up and leaning over the bus is mostly empty except for a bike rider, and old man and a librarian-looking lady. But Naruto cradled his legs in the very back sucking the nail of his thumb like he does when he's in an embarressing situation,

Morino-Sensei looks down at me "You boys can just ride for free then,"

"Thank-you Morino-former-Sensei!"

"Just call me Ibiki boy," He smiled, turning back to the road, "Hold on Naruto!"

I grap the pole for a second and Ibiki jerks the bus forward, Naruto lets out a little scream and I smile again,

Later, when we got to Sakura's, she then beat him up for putting glue in her shampoo,

"NARUTO!" She yells as me and Naruto get off the bus and he clings to me. He screams again and trys to run as she tackles him and her friend Ino trys to calm her down and pull her away. Her mom hands me the Gameboy as I watch Sakura use her solid-spiked pink hair to stab Naruto,

-----------Present day

....Hm-hm, that's why Naruto's scared of buses now, "Checkmate," I beat Kabuto in chess the third time in a row,

He glares at me and I accomplish a little victory-smirk. He throws the board agenst the wall and stomps off to whine and vent with _the rest of the little girls,_ heh, he's just mad cause Cho went to the ball with Cedric and didn't give _him_ the time of day untill Cedric turned into a vampire and ran off with Carlise,

---------------Naruto's POV

"NO! NO I CAN'T DO IT! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME KILLER BEE YOU BLOODY BASTARD!" I SCREAM! OHMYGOSH AND I _CRY!_ I CRY LIKE A SCARED LITTLE GIRL CAUSE I _AM, A SCARED LITTLE GIRL!!!!_

"Narato ya' fool! just calm down an' get on tha' bus! m'kay? _comon homey I just said the word, an' I'm tellin' ya your tears they be absurd, it's just a little bus Narato mah' ho-me, it's just a bus don't be absurd I'll get ya a po-ny, PLEASE NARATO! jus' get on board,"_

_"_I'M SORRY SAKURA! IT WAS JUST A JOKE! PLEASE MOMMY PLEASE MAKE HER STOP! IT HURTS OHMYGOD INO! SASUKE _DO SOMETHING!!!_"

-----Later

Hhhh, p-p-please let it have stopped'ed mommy, please let it have stopped'ed ZOMGOSH NOEZ!

"Narato?"

"GRANDPA!"

"NARATO! DUDE' MAH' HOMEIE WALK AWAY FROM THA' LIGHT!"

I snap out of it after seeing that we're not moveing anymore, we're on a messy street-corner and I smell old people foot-sweat and feel the tears welled up in my eyes, "..... Wha' happend?"

"Uh, We took'ed tha' bus," We- WHAT!?

"We- WHAT!?"

"Shyea man. Why wer'ya all cryin and booin' an- _hue-hue-huein' I tell ya I was this close to lu-lu-losein' buh' then ya got' all quiet and I saw this guy from class, we talked and shalked and you wus all brooked' then I goh' off, buh' membered you wus on, so I ran be-'hine tha bus an' it stopped real un-soft, an' _"

"- Okay! okay.... I have bus-phobia, 'kay?"

"....." He pulls out his notebook out of seemingly nowhere, "Why?"

"...."

---------Later

I told him the whole story, yes, the horrid story that to this day still makes me shudder and Sasuke laugh, Killer Bee wrote down on his notebook for about fifteen minutes after I'd stopped talking,

Now we're in a crummy part of town, gunshots are heard in the distance and I think that's blood in the street, I've watched the news here and everything seems relatively normal.... as in that creepy normal..... perfect happy normal..... _Stepford Wives_ (The original) normal.... "Killer?"

"YES?!" He yells in my face, looking as curious as a five-year-old,

"....Where's, _your_ house?" I asked,

"_Mah' house es the bomb ho-me, even though the lan' lords a bit loo-ney. I live here wit' a few close rel-ah-tives did I mention mah' brotha's in the sen-et_"

......Sen-et?...... M'kay then, but he points to a dirty white-bricked apartment building,

"....Niiiiice,"

"_Now it's time ta' wipe our feet, cusa mah' cousins all nice-n-neat now lets wi-wi-wi-wipe our feet, then she might get us somethin' sweet_!"

--------Later

We walked inside, it was actually less filthy then I thought, like it was supposed to look like I pictured it but someone attempted to clean it up, it was small but the kind of small that some can deal with and other's can have heart-attacks in, Killer smiled as he showed me. The kitchen was dirty but only because there were dishes in the sink, and then there was a kinda-big white living room, that acutally looked decently clean, as in, the whiteness looked like it was still the color it was when it was bought, there was a fireplace that I had no idea how could fit in here, and then three doors,

"Welcome! to mah humble pad!" He said, finally not rapping, I smiled best anyone could for just being dragged out of school on a forced sleep-over with a twenty-somethin' looking teen,

"Kirabi?" A girls voice called, out of one of the door's came a professional-looking girl, she looked a little like Killer-Bee with smaller mucles and red hair, shoveing things into her black-suade purse while holding a briefcase, "There you are, now I don't have to lock the door," She... was..... hot..... More then Miss Kurenai and Yugito together.

"Ah! mah babe!" He ran over and attempted to hug her, but she moved out of his way makeing him trip on the coffee table, and then he got right back up smileing like nothing happened, "Narato! This is my gorgous cousin! I call her MAGNIFICANT!"

"That's not my name Kirabi,"

"It's Killer Bee,"

"Yeah yeah," She said, like she'd heard it a thousand times, "It's nice to meet you Naruto, I'm Karui, and I hope we can get together sometime and properly introduce ourselfs. But I have a meeting I'm late for," She said as she walked past me out the door, "And- 'Killer'?- Please hide the newspaper so you-know-who doesn't have a breakdown again," She shut the door and I heard her heals clack down the steps,

"Who's 'you-know-who'?" I asked,

"Mah' other cousin Omoi, A.K.A. Lookuz, he's a wack case who- 'ova thinks', -as in one time ah' broke mah nose an' mah brotha called him in his office an' he though' it wus causa him puttin' mayo on his tater's...O.... And then I hav' a even GORGOUSER third-cousin-twice-removed next to her," He said pointing to the empty doorway,

Is that a word? popped into my head, but I just replied to myself with 'Believe it' "Soooooo then..... Now what?"

"....... I DUN' KNOW!" He said throwing his arms up and smileing like an idiot.... I'm starting to like this guy,

----------Later again

Me and Killer actually fell asleep on his couch, he told me a buncha storys about him and his family. dateing from yesterday when he told his one cousin Karui he'd be kidnapping me to when he was two, and his brother ate his favorite Barney spork,

I woke up at probably two or three in the morning by the door,

"Well look what the Bee dragged in," A crop-cut bleach blonde lady walked inside wearing a red suit. She was pale with fox-like eyes holding her purse, she put a blanket over Killer Bee as I stretched, "Your probably Naruto, I suppose?" .... Did I mention her boobs put Principal Tsunade to shame?

"Yeah, _yaaaaawn,_ he dragged me over here,"

"He kiddnaps his friends often, I couldn't count the times Yugito's spent the night and when Yagura's been suckered into staying, make yourself at home, it won't be the last time your here I'll assure," She sat down in the chair across from me and held out her hand "I'm Samui, Killer would of reffered to me as Miss, Gorgous," I shook her hand, to distracted by her cold voice, name, and hands to stare at her chest.

"Killer's still not awake?" Karui from earlier came through the kitchen doorway, letting down her hair and un-doing the buttons on her shirt,

"Must you really strip with company?"

Karui sat down in another one of the couches "Naruto do you think I'm hot?"

".... Yeah, but I also don't think your a pedo,"

She smiled, "Don't be fooled, I'm fifteen, but you don't mind do you?" I checked her half-open blouse that just barely showed a black-lace bra that hadn't even caught my attention till I looked, so I nodded my head pointing to Samui,

"These gain more attention," Samui was complaining about Karui when her blouse wouldn't even close, and she had a tight T-shirt under it to covor everything,

"Hey, secretary's get more money when the business men keep coming by for meetings just to see them!" Karui joked, and from the look on Samui's face it was one she used regularly, I laughed thinking about how lucky Killer is, ex di! Gets to sit between two cat-fighting girls all day!

Samui changed the subject, probably wanting Karui to lose a reason to talk, "You can sleep in Omoi's room, he's out,"

"Nah I can stay here on the couch," Hee-hee, I like Karui, and Samui's failed attempt made her flinch and leave the room, "But can I use the phone?"

"Sure tough-guy," Karui (Now my offical older sister in my book) led me to the kitchen phone.

I just dialed Sasuke's number knowing Iruka'd handle Konohamaru's rage and that he was probably the only one still awake anyway, and Anko picked up again

"Ello' mah little pretty stranger! this is the Orochi-Chan morgue! would you like a free finger nail that may or may not contain serial killer DNA?" She gidded, I would have laughed if it wern't for the fact that I was calling from a strange number meaning that I might have been anybody,

"Ank's? it's Naruto,"

"SASU-CHAN'S HUBBIE! Sasu-sasu-sasu-SASUUUU-CHAAAAN! phone fer' ya!" I also would of thought she was drunk if I didn't know this was her regular personality,

"Hello?"

"HEY SASU-CHAN!" I yelled, Karui was laughing cause she already heard Anko's greeting, who was heard in the background faintly chanting 'Sasu-Naru-Sasu-Naru-Uke to the To-Sasu-Naru!'....... hold it, HEY!

"Yes, yes, yes, Naru-Kun, what now?"

"Hi!"

"Hello to you too, now do you have a reason for waking me?"

"You were already awake,"

"And do you _want_ me to not sleep at all?" He said, but of course his voice showed he's planning to, but I still through back at him a big old-

"Better not! I haven't come over with the 2-liter of coke and porn yet!" Karui was offically on the floor laughing her ass off, Samui looked at her weirdly and I could hear Sasuke's grunts of holding-head-in-embarressment-ness,

"_Goodbye,_ Naruto,"..... He hung up on meh! ZOMG he hung up on meh!....eh!

"Are the two of you done?" Samui growled,

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'll go back to bed now!" I walked back over to the couch and Samui grumbled dragging Karui back to their rooms,

------------Next day

"MORNIN' NARATO'S!!!!" Killer Bee woke me up, I don't know why but I have a weird reaction that whenever I'm screeched awake I roll-over..... curiouser and curiouser,

Now I of course rolled-over right off the couch, "...Ow,"

"You kay' Narato?"

"Yeaaaaah.... Can I go HOME now?!"

"Come on buddie! your no fun!"

"Listen, we have school, so _please,_ I wanna change my clothes," And secretly get out of here before Samui wakes up,

"Fine!"

"_AND_ WE'RE WALKING!"

"_Fiiiiine!"_

-----------------Later

"An' finally!" Killer asks his last question he hadn't SHUT UP the whole way home, which was actually a really long walk, "......What's you favorite color?"

I stared at him, realizeing that was the one thing he hadn't asked me this whole time, he made me show him childhood pictures and what my favorite band was but he hadn't asked the most simple, and annoying.... question,

".....Blue?"

"THAT'S IT!" He through the notebook behind him into the trashcan, I started crieing softly in my head, and he rapped, "_YA' FOOL YA' FOOL! if ya' don' know Narato then yar a darned FOOL! he's a buddie who likes ta make people feel the funneh MOOD! Narato like bowls of FOOD and the color BLUE! He's a little kooky sometimes, but hey HE'S AWSOME! Narato mah fool! his personality-an-his-abilitys are- pop-pop-POPPIN!_"

I stared at him, feeling drained, tired, and ever so slightly emo,

"Thanks for the good time Killer Bee, I'm in love with your cousin 'Magnificant', and I hope to shower _you_ with questions someday of how much of Samui is real," I turned and walked up inside Ichiraku and up the steps, Killer cheered and waved goodbye,

So, incredibley, glad, to be HOME! I throw the door open and throw my backpack across the room, I was about to half-sleep-walk to my room till I noticed Jiraiya standing there leaning agenst the wall on the phone, looking strangely normal, "Ey' Pervy, you there?"

"...Yeah he just got home," He smiled and handed me the phone,

-----Jiraiya's POV

Naruto put the phone to his ear and listened to Iruka's voice, he greeted him smileing and chatted for a few moments,

Iruka's joy couldn't hold the news in for long, I saw Naruto's face soon soften into a look of beautiful wonder, his lips moved softly, trying to understand what he just heard,

Yes, Naruto's eyes are good ones, they show every page of life in them, and a new, thrilling page just turned,

Iruka told only me the news of what's gonna become a climax in Naruto's life, but, he with-holds that information now, letting this page in his eyes glimmer brightly as Naruto's tender lips curve up in that smile he inherited from his father,

"I'm going home," He spoke so softly, as this chapter ends, in Naruto's youthful and hopefully happily-never-ending chapter, "I'm going home!"

Yes, 'The Tales of the Gallant Jiraiya' the sequel will be one for the wonders, this one entitled, 'The Tales of the Great Naruto Uzumaki'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally done! XD

took me abot a week or more to finish this chapter

THREE MORE CHAPTERS FRIENDS! yes, I quoted Jiraiya's last words, because I love Jiraiya, and his story will forever be on the best-seller shelf in my heart ^_^

WEEEEE! I had a buncha stuff to say but I don't remember it any more!

I also quoted Naruto Ultimate Ninja Shippuden 4, and kinda the Last Unicorn, but hey, it's Jiraiya HE'S A AUTHOR! his mind narrates like a book!

WE LOVE YOU JIRAIYA!

.... XD I can't stop TALKING ABOUT HIM now.......

WE LOVE YOU JIRAIYA!

XD anyway, oh yes, mothers boyfriend got pulled over, but mister super-nice-cop-man let him go without arrest for driving under suspended license, so we just really have to pay to get the truck towed out of the impound lot and court fines.... And keep walking to the bus...... wha,

But I'll be spending the weekend with my granma! who has a computer that I've probably just posted this chapter on! yay fo Jiraiya, and the never-ending story, of the Great Naruto Uzumaki!


	12. The Greatest Monster

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, or anything else

YAY!

Okay, I joined like' five diffrent Naruto RPG sites, (SAY IN YOUR REVIEW FOR THE LINK TO THE BEST ONE! IT IS THE BEST BUT ONLY NEEDS MORE PEOPLE! GO TO ET! GOOO TOOO EEEET!)

I am, Briko "LoveGunner" Renko (on the best site) Genin, (who, because of lack-o-members, has yet to get a team assigned,) WEEEE! OH YEAH BABY!

Yayz! XD RP rocks, dude, the only problem with it is everyone wants to be emo like Sasuke, (which I tried, but wasn't allowed cause the admins noticed the large number of orphans, XP) I'm gonna ignore all those and just go with the one that I like best, cause, it rocks, dude,

Also, one more thing........ I wanna make one but don't have an IQ big enough for that...... I'll try though, and it will rock, and you could choose to be actual characters, I would be Naruto, because I am awsome bitch..... WHOO-HOOO!

I'm done now, read the chapter,

-----------------------------------------------------Chapter 11: The Greatest Monster

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh Jiraiya!" I jumped up and down, dropping the phone and I heard Iruka's laughing on the other end. I ran around the room and jumped up on Jiraiya kissing his (unbelivevably calm) face,

I'm going home! homehomehome_home_! where everything is! where all my old friends are! where-where-.... ZOMG!

I picked the phone back up and Iruka was still laughing at my cheering, and I could hear the kids in the background cheering and laughing too,

"REALLYREALLYREALLY!?"

"Yes Naruto, you can come back as soon as you can,"

"Jiraiyajiraiyajiraiya! I'm going homehomehomehome!!!" I jumped up and down and cheered some more and sqeeled like a little girl and- YAY! - I started to think clearly after Jiraiya finally broke down laughing too, "So, like' everythings fixed?! nobody's crazy anymore?!"

"Well, they kinda all got caught up in a new scandal at school, so your old news to them," Iruka said like he was quoteing Shino or Konohamaru that was proabably who told him. Zo-mah-gawd, YAY! NO ONE REMEBERS ME AGAIN!

"Ruka' Ruka' Ruka! I'll be there _today,_ I just need to say bye to all my friends kay'?!"

"Are you sure about that Naruto? maybe you should stay just a while longer so you don't abandon everybody,"

"DON'T WORRY! my friend's have E-mail and I'm pretty sure one is telepathic, I'll see you later kay' Ruka?!"

"Okay Naruto bu-"

"Bye Iruka!" I hung up on him, cause I'm mean and don't want to ruin the moment, I hug Jiraiya, "Your the BEEEEST Jiraiya! will you miss me?!"

He thought for a moment, then bending down to sit on air, which I'm actually not surprised he can do, he smiled. "I got E-mail, remember?"

"Ohmygosh I _love_ you Jiraiya!"

"I'll pack your stuff! you run off to school you little spit-fire you!" He smiled and skipped into my room, I grapped by back=pack and ran out, stopping real quick in the Cafe,

"Ayame! Teuchi! I'm gonna go home!"

Ayame smiled big for me but Teuchi got the look knowing that he just lost his best customer, "I'm so happy for you Naruto! oh! wait right here!" She ran in the back and came back with a phone number, "That's my cell phone, call if you ever have girl troubles!"

"Bye Ayame!"

"Good luck Naruto!"

----------School

"Fuu!" For once, I was the one to tackle Fuu, I slamed her to the ground and she reacted with rolling over to on top of me and tickleing the livin' hell outta me,

"Hi Naru-Chan!" She gleed, next to her was a slightly shocked Killer Bee, probably cause he saw me so drowzy and annoyed earlier, and then Utakata and Yagura were in the distance stareing blankly,

"What's hangin' Narato?"

"The sun! weeeeeee!" I jump up and as I pass Yagura's face turns to sheer weirded-outness and all types of 'why do I know you?' - And the last thing I hear from them is- (Which I don't know how I was able to pick this up)

"Think he got laid?" From Utakata

"I think he just dreamed it," From Yagu- HEY!

-------Later

I was hopping up and down in Math, I was the first one there which showed me that the first people to class are always Miss Kurenai and Han. I turned around at Han who was looking at me weirdly, waveing slowly, I kept smileing and stared at him, dareing him to see why,

His eyes got wide and he smiled, he clapped his hands and Kurenai took it as a happy thing, probably aware of her 'special' student's abilitys too. Looking back she smiled at me with a quiet and sweet 'Congratulations,'

--------Later

Fuu had of course constantly picked and prodded the poor back of my head wanting me to tell her what happened, Han gave her a smile which she could only take as a good thing, but her playful personality made her pout and be still for the first time I've ever seen as she tried to figure it out,

Yugito met me in the hall and apparently had talked to Killer Bee, cause she kept asking how I was, now, as I'm sure you know, Yugito is one of the most subtle, smart, and calm members of the RDC, so she tried quietly and gently to work a clue out of me, even leaning down to me enough to make me face-to-face with her chest in her baggy purple tank top, but I wasn't cracking, and when faced with boobs thought about nothing but Jiraiya's butt,

In Gym I jumped around on the bleachers waiting for them to finish the hurdles, (which my excitement helped to perfect) and I poked Gaara constantly, which actually did nothing but annoy his sister Temari, Roshi kept looking at me, dumbfounded that he couldn't come up with anything to yell at me to ruin the mood,

So in lunch, strangely positioned at the end of the day, I ran up behind Gaara and grapped his shoulders, shakeing him with all my might, "Hi Gaar-Chan's!" I squeeled shakeing him rapidly, when I was done, slash, tired, He looked at me with half-crossed eyes mumbleing something about muffins, "How ya' doin'?"

He stared at me tiredly, "You.... just rattled my brain out,"

"Uh-huh!"

".....What's wrong?"

"Ohhh, I'm just thinking about how much I love you all!" I kiss him on the cheek and jump on Kankuro who'd been laughing the whole time, Temari took a few steps back, not wanting the same fate. Me and Kankuro merely jumped up and down like girly-.... girls, even though he had no idea what about, I then ran past them through the cafeteria doors,

Which, after ALL my antics, it of course led to every RDC club member to plop down onto my table, I'd never seen everyone together outside the club meetings, and alot of the students stared because, of course, the members rarely sat with anyone, barely even themselfs with the exception of Yugito with Killer Bee and Utakata with Yagura,

"Okay Naruto, we FREAKING give up," Yugito growled,

"Yeah yeah yeah! we wanna know why your so happy!" Fuu said, practicly hopping out of her seat,

"PLEAAAASE TELL US!" Roshi whined,

"Or else.... I'll.... Do something," Gaara mumbled,

"Like what?" I shot at him,

He looked down at my Ramen cup, which I was already almost half done with, I followed the look down waiting, it was still boilin- wait, how could it be boiling if-

_SPLAT_

The broth zipped up and coated my face, Gaara grapped the cup and gulped down whatever was left,

"You- BASTARD! how dare you mess with my Ramen!" Everybody started laughing (Cept' Yagura who annoyingly was waiting for an answer, and Utakata smiled looking weird,)

"Just tell us," Gaara stated bluntly,

I looked around at everybody, "Okay, I was going to wait for the club meeting but-" I looked around again, even little Yagura looked about to jump up on the table, Fuu was practicly standing on me and Killer looked like he'd die unless I said it within the next five seconds, where as Hand just smiled from across the table, already knowing, "....I'm going home!"

Fuu let out a ear-pierceing scream and Yugito fell backwards laughing, Roshi and Killer jumped up on the table and did a victory dance, Gaara held his head in pain of Fuu's screech, Utakata was doing weird yoga poses on the ground which was probably his form of victory dance, and Yagura banged his head on the table, pissed he'd gotten so worked up,

I jumped up and ran over to the lunch line, jumped over the rope and onto the sneeze guard (which with Anko as server had no meaning) and I was to excited to note it's amazingness, "Anko! guess what!?"

"Hm?" She said, not weirded out at all by my display, unlike poor Tenten whom I had jumped over,

"I'm going home!" Her face slowly went into a huge smile, which I really didn't expect, I figured her happy for personal reasons (like maybe hateing me?) She squeeled and did a dirty-looking victory dance around the kitchen, I back flipped off and waved at Tenten, who gave me a thumbs up with a forgiveness smile,

------------Later

Everyone gave me their congratulations and such, Gaara and his cronies even gave me a ride back to Ichiraku, Sooooo,

"Well, guess I'll see you all around," I said rubbing my head like a idiot, "Umm, this is like the part where we, shake hands or somethin' but, I'm not really good at this stuff so....." I was probably blushing three shades of red, Temari giggled lightly and Kankuro looked about to explode,

Gaara grabbed my hand and shook it lightly, we smiled at eachother for a minute and he got back in the car, I waved after them, and... well..... I'm not even good at discribeing this stuff,

I went upstairs, and... Jiraiya had a heaveing bag almost to the ceiling full of stuff,

".....Is my bed in there too?"

"Hm? this? oh no I was just thinking of going on a hikeing trip," He said looking up at the bag, "I got yours right here!" He pulled out my suitcase and one other one, "Here's all the stuff you came here with- I took the liberty of going through it all extra-closely," He said smileingly handing me my green suitcase, and I was glad I left all embarressing items at Iruka's, "And this one's from things you might want and gifts I have for you!" He handed me the other orange suitcase, it had bumper stickers on it and some little writtings on it, I felt the sides of it for a second- half-distracted by the fact that I was so easily balanceing the other suitcase with ease- and felt the playstation he had thrown in my room! tee-hee, I lub Jiraiya,

I looked up at him and then at the heaping bag behind him filled with 'hikeing' tools, "....You know, I can come back another time," I said slowly,

"Really!? you wanna?" He said surprised by my offer,

"Shyea', I mean I'm supposed to be living here anyway, whadaya say? A week here and a week there?"

Jiraiya looked at me and then smiled his now-famous smile, "Man, and I was hoping I'd get rid of ya!" He roars his matching laugh and starts scooting me out the door, "Come on I have a taxi waitin'. Call me later Naruto!"

I am so coming back next week, "Bye Jiraiya!" He needs a nickname....Pervy-... Author? Dude? Pappy? ah' I'll use my creativity once my brain has a nice rest,

Speaking of my brain, I walk down and the screaming is being surpriseingly quiet, back to it's simple two people screetch. But like they're tired, and are quieting down,

I bid my final byes to Ayame and Teuchi and got in the taxi, waveing goodbye to Jiraiya who sat in the same spot in the window that he was in when I got there,

-----------Home

"NARUTOOOO!!!!" The second I stepped out of the taxi Konohamaru glomped me full-force, Udon and Moegi jumped and cheered behind him, Konohamaru apparently changed from sitting infront of the phone to sitting right on the sidewalk,

Iruka ran down to us and it was my turn to glomp him, "Irukakakakakakaka!"

"Welcome back Naruto,"

"Ohmygoshnarutoyourbackimsohappyletsplaytwisterohletsplaycheckersohnoletsplaymonopolywaitnoclueohmygoshnarutoyourbackhinarutohi!!!!" Konohamaru raddled off unintelligible words as I became incredibley confused, but I got my head clear and leaned past Iruka to the door,

I walk up to Sasuke, he looks back at me looking like the kid who stole from the cookie jar,

I dig into my bag and stick a piece of paper on his head, it unrolls and shows the Womanizer poster he snuck into my bag, "What's this for?" He asks muffled by the paper,

"I forget my reason," I smile and he pulls it off noogieing me,

-----Dinner

"No, way,"

"Yuh-huh! and _then_ she was all like SOMYGOSH STOPPIT! and Kiba fell over laughing and she jumped on him!" Konohamaru succeeded in covoring every single detail of what happened while I was gone, currently he was talking about when Kiba's mom and sister came for him, and I made a mental note that I had to make a batch of my fake vomit to throw at him in school for my big returning deput,

Moegi and Udon were like echoes and back up for Kono, Iruka just laughed at the reunited dinner table, Sasuke sat across from me stabbing his leftovers looking politely over at Kono' like he was actually listening,

Ah yes, I'm back home where I can describe everything so awsomely, we eat all leftovers no matter what they are and no matter how disgusting they are heated up. Good to be back, yayz to the maxi-pads,

Sasuke looked up at Iruka and said something that he didn't have to say out loud, Iruka nodded and he got up from his spot and pushed his plate over too Udon's empty one for him to eat, "I'll be out back," Sasuke said boredly, sticking his hands in his pockets and walking to the back door in the sulking move he does alot, I blocked out everything else Kono' might've said and pushed my entire plate full of food down my throut and got up to follow,

------Backyard

The grass out behind the Orphanage was always weird. The place itself was wedged up between two buildings like in Full House or something, but there was a tiny square backyard out back and the grass was so green it looked like it was painted on. Iruka didn't spend the money to water it and Konohamaru and his friends often had never-ending Tag marathons that should have worn it down ages ago,

Sasuke was laying on the slope that had made Kono' lose his footing and crash into the fence so many times I finally ran out of laughs for it, I carefully walked over and got down next to him,

He looked up, smiled for the first time in months, and I could finally figure out that emotion I couldn't decipher over the phone, his eyes were full of hope. I got down completely and Sasuke just looked at me,

"Now whatcha' stareing at?"

"...Not quite sure," His eyes in this light were bright but had dark bags under em'. He was paler then usual and it looked like he'd been in the same clothes for a few days,

"What's wrong?" I asked,

".... not quite sure," His eyes looked like they changed with each heartbeat, and they led me to his sleaves. I snuck my hand up and he didn't try to stop me. I pulled down the sleave and pushed up his red wristbands I'd never seen before. There were fresh scars that made me lift my head up out of the grass, and some looked like they'd just stopped bleeding. One deep one went from the middle of his hand all the way to past the wristbands covor.

"Sasuke,"

"I'm just tired," He said quietly digging his face deeper into the grass and closer to me, ".....really tired,"

-------Few Days Later

Everything was almost too perfectly back to normal, cept' Sasuke whom I now had a job to watch and keep sane, his search for his brother was getting more and more heated by the day,

I was giving him my computer time to look, anything to keep him content, it worked decently for a while,

It was probably midnight, I dunno, for some reason when I'm with Sasuke I never bother to look at a clock, might of even been three in the morning, all I knew was everyone else was asleep,

I walked quietly up behind Sasuke and leaned over his shoulder, "How ya doin'?"

"It's getting close." He said, "Really, really, really close,"

"Really?"

"....I don't know anymore," He said clicking out of the window he was in, "I've been saying that for a couple weeks," He pushed his hand up and turned off the computer, I waved my hand infront of his face after a few moments of silence and he grabbed it, "I'm going to bed," He got up,

I wasn't sure wether he was just forgetting to let go of my hand or just not wanting too, I didn't bother to wonder anymore,

---------After a Week

Okay, so now that I was all settled back into life at the orphanage, I was planning on going back to Jiraiya, Konohamaru whined but I made a deal that (and this was much to Iruka's likeing) That he would write a essay on what happens when I'm gone and I'll write one for him of what I'm doing (Cuz I'm so smart.... Okay Shino suggested it,)

"Saaaasukeeeeee," I hummed, "Saaaa_aaaaasukeeeeeeee_eee," He looked annoyed up from his notebook that he'd stop writeing in about half an hour ago, "Whatcha doin'?"

"What Naruto-Teme?" I glared at him ever-so-slightly,

"..... Wanna come with me to Jiraiya's?!" I asked giddily, He stared at me like the loon I am,

Honestly I'd been dreading leaveing him in all his emoness, and this little plan was the last-second thing I came up with, I gave him the puppy dog eyes I haven't managed to do since the screaming in my head started, and now since I haven't heard Sue n' Paul in ages, it's back and Sasuke's still stareing in his old, weirded-out glory,

His wide eyes narrowed and he did a are-you-serious-glare, and after a few minutes of me blankly stareing at him he gave up, face softened and he leaned back into the little pole he perched himself under. "Fine, I will,"

I smiled and jumped up doing a little victory dance, he ignored me as he went back to his probably-empty notebook and the neighbors stared at me.... I love home,

After I tired (which took about five minutes and a combination of boredom,) I finally went to sit at the end of the porch steps,

I'm a little tired, think I may doze off, but Sasuke'd kick me, and such, must.... stay..... awake...... muuuuuust,

"Sasuke," Iruka's unmistakable voice ringed behind us from the door, I actaully might've fell asleep but who cares, I'm up now, " guess who's comeing," He said with a weak smile and worried face,

I looked down at Sasuke, at for a flash of a second when he looked back to his notebook with a annoyed expression, it was like he'd never changed, but, how would I have known what was happening next, but right now Sasuke just used his regular tone of voice, "I'm not going, I'll be with Naruto," he said, scribbleing probably nothing in his notebook,

Iruka smiled like he was reliefed, leaning onto the doorframe, crossing his arms and looking down the street. Konohamaru and his friends peeked out of their spot right behind Iruka's leg,

I followed his look and a painfully shiney volvo car pulled up to the walk, I peeked up and looked inside, the windows were tinted, wha, but then a door opened,

Out of the passanger side, mister super creepy thing of all weirdness came out. Some guy with long straight black hair and sickly pale skin wearing fancy pants and turtle neck sweater, inside the car, a cheouffer that looked like Harry Potter after he read his own books sucky epilouge, annoyingly glared out the windsheild waiting for the other guy,

I heard shuffleing behind me and without moving I waited for Sasuke to pass me, I watched as he met the guy half way up the walk, Iruka followed closely behind him,

"Orochimaru-San," Sasuke said, useing the voice he used with a adult he was familiar with, "You made a hasty warning call,"

"Ohh, Sasuke-Kun, I just wanted to surprise you, and then Kabuto wanted to make sure you were prepared and it was too late to argue," He said with a creepy voice that matched his looks, I looked behind me and Konohamaru's little squad were shivering in the doorway, looking back infront Iruka looked equally nervous,

"Orochimaru-San," He started out shakily, and sounding- I couldn't avoid the word anymore- _scared_. "Sasuke actually has plans for this week, I'm afraid you might've come this way for nothing,"

"Oh, it's quite alright, I really just wanted to see his face again," He walked up to Sasuke, I lost the fight with myself to not glare at him when he patted Sasuke's head,

Sasuke looked up at him, I couldn't tell his expression but his voice was full of annoyance, "I'm not comeing," came out bluntly,

"I heard," He whispered, but it also came out with a annoyed tone, Sasuke turned around in his spot and 'Orochimaru' walked up to Iruka, who was ever-so-slightly calmer,

Sasuke mouthed the words to our oath. And his smile could never be so genuine.

Iruka politely chatted briefly with and bid goodbye, smileing at Orochimaru as he left, and Konohamaru and his friends cheered and gleed for some reason. After iruka went up to join him, I was the closest to Sasuke, so of course I was the only one that heard,

Orochimaru leaned down as he past Sasuke. Putting his pale white hand on his cheek and held his face close to his, Sasuke wasn't surprised by it showing he probably did it often, and Orochimaru whispered in his ear, something I know I wouldn't of heard if I was anywhere near normal,

"I know where your brother is,"

Sasuke's face warped, his eyes got wide and he turned almost as white as Orochimaru's hand. Orochimaru walked away and turned one last time when he got his shiney volvos car door open. "Are you sure you don't want to come Sasuke-Kun?" he asked,

Sasuke spun around and ran after him so fast, and the last thing I could hear was Orochimaru's voice saying. ' Buckle up and be safe dear,'

I stared after the car as it drove off. Konohamaru and his friends' crys and Iruka's calming sentances all faded as the screaming in my head woke up from it's nap with a revengeing blood-curdleing screetch,

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emooooooo,

Okay, just one thing to say about this (so far) I don't think Sasuke (in the series) WILLINGLY went to Orochimaru, Sasuke's poor, sensitive brain first cracked when he woke up after he got curse mark, and he slowly went into a spiral killing his sanity, the cursemark was helping of course, (of course it was HELPING! why the hell would Orochimaru have said afterwards 'now that you have that your will begin seeking me out for power'?!?!?)

Sasuke snapped and totally lost it very resently in the series, right after he found out the truth about Itachi to be exact, he lost it TOTALLY and the loss of the cursemarks influence was made up for with brotherly love,

Sasuke is insane, point blank, just totally and completely insane, this is NOT Sasuke, this, is, mister crazy Uchiha man of psychosis,

poor baby, anyway, yea, I stole the plot line for Sasuke Retrieval Arc, but as I'm sure you can guess, Naruto's companions are NOT Shika, Neji, Choji and Kiba,

..... Guess who?

Read the next chapter babe,


	13. Angels and Demons and Both

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or anything else,

The Bonds chapters are over

This is where the action begins

Climax, of Confessions of a Teenage Monster,

Awsomeness to the max,

What will happen next?

Read on baby, Read on,

-----------------------------------Chapter 12 :Angels and Demons and Both

The screaming was numbing my ears, it was non-stop unbelieveable, and not only that, _painful_ for the first time, it was real pain, not only was my head throbbing, but I was nausous along with the flashes of color _along with_ it feeling like I'd just been running through the desert and no matter how much I tried to I couldn't relax or calm down,

Jiraiya always knew how bad I was, the school called him, I even passed out right infront of him, but this seemed to be the only time he was worried about me, standing just outside my door so he couldn't bug me. But what was bugging me was that I could tell exactly where he was, every breath he was taking, and just how much he was worried, cause' I could hear his racing heart too,

Iruka called and told him about Sasuke, how Orochimaru had asked for adoption papers with Sasuke's consent, and how Iruka couldn't find a legal reason not to give them. And I knew this cause I could also hear Iruka's voice on the phone, from my room with a closed door,

I have no idea what's _happening_ to me! but, the madder I get the less everything hurts, but, _I can't get mad, because, cause'..._ cause I feel myself losing control the madder I get,

I noticed it- who knows how long ago, I don't even know how long I've been laying on the bed,- I was actually making myself get madder when I noticed it made the pain slim, but then I realized I was moving on my own, fidgiting and rolling and sitting up, the madder I got the less I had control over my own body, so I had to stay calm, stay in pain, and attempt to stay sane,

I can't take it anymore! I start thinking of anything, to test and see what might help, I tried to imagine these past few months were a dream and I woke up and everything was fine, I imagined walking down the stairs to the kitchen and Konohamaru was talking about some weird dream he had, about the cartoons he watched the night before, and the the smell of Iruka making breakfast cause' we finally ran out of leftovers, Kiba and Shino bickering as quietly as possible so Iruka wouldn't scold them, but then that one moment came when I sat down at the table and it was time for the last piece of the puzzle to walk down those stairs I've fallen down- and up- so many times,

Sasuke walks through the doorway, smacking me upside the head before sitting down right next to me, and I noticed that I noticed, things I didn't know I noticed. I almost stopped myself from nameing things off, but I realized the screaming was quiet and didn't want it to come back,

Every rinkle in his shirt, every piece of his dark black hair that wasn't brushed down yet cause he doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks he looks like, the dark in his eyes that still managed to have so much light, and for a second I actually believed I was there, the bickering and chatting in the background became so much more real and detailed, Iruka moved around more then I could've imagined he would on my own, Sasuke acted too perfect, like I always deny he does, and I couldn't let myself imagine it, that's when I realized that, this was the scene, the scene that happened right before, on a sunday morning right before we ate breakfast, right before Iruka said he was going to the grocery store, right before I put fake vomit in everyones shoes cause they wouldn't come with me and the little kids to the park, the exact moment, just hours before the monster in my mind made itself known,

I sat up in the bed, everything was gone, except the screaming that was just like it was in the beginning, strong enough to be bothered by but not to hurt like it was just seconds before,

I don't know how, why, or if there was even an explaination for the address that popped into my head. I just knew it was where Sasuke was, I decided to calm for a second, make sure everything was real, hold myself from jumping out of bed just yet. I picked up the IPod I had almost completely forgotten about, and that I still wouldn't remember if it wasn't right on my lap- which I'm sure it wasn't before,

I could still tell everything around me, Jiraiya was in his room, not that I could see, but I just had a hunch, and lately I've actually had alot of hunches that turned out to be right, that he was dreaming about something I should listen in on, but all I could really think about was leaveing. I trusted my gut that that was what it was about, turning the IPod to the part where it only just hit the exact tone of the screams,

_My secret side I keep_

_Hid under lock and key_

_I keep it caged but I can't control it_

_cause' if I let him out_

_He'll tear me up-break me down_

_Why won't somebody save me from this_

_make it end?_

_I feel it deep within_

_it's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I-_

_feel like a monster_

_I, I feel like a monster_

_I, I feel like a monster_

_It's hidin' in the dark_

_it's teeth are razor sharp_

_There's no escape for me_

_It wants my soul-it wants my heart_

_no one can hear me scream_

_maybe it's just a dream_

_Or maybe it's inside of me_

_STOP THIS MONSTER_

_I feel it deep within_

_It's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I-_

_**Feel like a monster **_

_I, I feel like a monster!_

Hmpf,

End of the song I was already sneaking through Ichiraku, I touched the handle to make sure there wasn't an alarm, and since nobody would steal cold ramen leftovers there wasn't, I opened the door and darted out,

Going to the right, I passed by the tiny alley way in-between Ichiraku and an apartment next door,

There infront of me, was every member of the Recovoring Demons Club. In the order of Han, Kirabi, Yugito Utakata Fuu and Yagura, all on eachothers shoulders infront of one of the windows. Roshi and Gaara stood lazily on the ground, Gaara looked like he was about to burst out laughing and Roshi was already laughing from the sight of the mini acrobatics show,

"Naruto!"

"How'd you get there?!" Yagura yelled, like even the little genius couldn't guess my IQ was high enough to be able to break out of my own apartment.

".....I, used the door," I said slowly, pointing to the entrance. Yagura growled and Gaara finally let that chuckle burst as they started to wobble and fall down. Yagura hit hard agenst the wall behind them but I knew the regular recovoring time by now. I laughed, reliefing myself of any final stress and picked Fuu up and led her and my parade of runaways to Sasuke's new house,

-------------Three hours later

Do I really need to go into detail about the trip? I could now put it as about one in the morning and I had the entire RDC club following me, everybody was whineing about the cold that didn't really bother them, that they needed to go to the bathroom, and that they all came to me because- to put it simply- The had a feeling I needed them, which, I now had a feeling I really was going too,

"Anyway," Yagura said, almost pouting next to me, he was the only one not rambleing on constantly, slash whining, slash rapping, besides Gaara who stuck close to me on the other side, "why are we coming with you?" Everyone had heard the gossip of what happened with Sasuke, but my split-second choice to go get him wasn't on the radar of course,

"You don't know?"

"Do any of us know?" Gaara said dramaticly calm,

I looked at him, our eyes locked and I figured we were thinking the same, "We just want too,"

"Well, do you have a address in your head?" Yagura said almost nervously,

"What's yours!?" Yugito yelled in the background running up to be along side us,

I don't have to show that everyone named off the same address, 1366 Dawn Apartments, which, I also don't have to say is where Sasuke said a while ago was where he narrowed his brothers where-abouts, a run-down area inbetween Namikaze and Oto,

"So, does this mean?" Yagura was still trying to find a logical explanation,

"It means we're going," I growled at him, still annoyed he couldn't just let it go,

Not that I'm calling us all 'special' or saying we have 'gifts'. That's not my excuse, we all have the same curse, that we need to deal with, and use to our advantage. And, actually, now that I'm really thinking straight, I'm realizeing.... just how extreamly _gay_ I've been sounding the past few days,

Really, ugh, so pathetic, I went completely _girl_ on myself, so ashamed,

But anyway, time for this little group of runaways to kick some serious pedo-butt, looking around at- Yagura, pouting that he's been over-ruled, Gaara smileing oh-so-proudly, and everyone sideing with me-cheering and stomping ahead like the lunatics we all are-... I'm also imagineing that we're all from the Runaways comics... I'm the leader guy!- wait, crap he dies.... Okay I'm the mexican robot guy, yeah, and Gaara can be super-cool Chase with telepathic Fuu-slash-Gert, hee, this is fun,

And whiney little Yagura is the Princess Powerful! haha! I've never loved free comic book day at the library so much!

Okay, we're close- or, here..... yeah we're here, back to serious leader-dude, "Sister Grimm! we must infiltrate!" I say cooly,

"I, am, NOT the korean bisexual emo goth whore!" Okay, not the only one that reads sucky Marvel comics,

"....Lets just go inside," I whine, wha, oh well,

I look up at the building, it's only about- fifteen storys tall, no biggie, okay, maybe ten, but over eight.... or less.... What the hell did I just get myself into?

It's dark gray, slash maybe blueish, can't tell in the moonlight, it really does look like a ordinary run-down apartment building, except that every single light is on. In the front there isn't a visable door, but a open-doorway leading to a small stairwell with a light, another one of my hunches has us all noticeing the person leaning agenst the wall next to the doorway at once,

We rushed up- and it was-

"Super-Scary-Lunch-Lady-Anko!?" Me, and, ironicly Roshi and Yugito all yell at the same time, she still wore that same Lolita Dress looking up at us with her arms crossed and hair down,

"Hellow kitties," She meows playfully,

"Where's Sasuke Anko?!" I yell at her- AWSOMELY!

Her happy expression goes to slight bored annoyance, she puts her head down and points her thumb to the door, "Top floor," She says, almost sounding like she was sad from the erupt stop to fun,

"Your just telling us?" Yagura questioned,

"Not that it matters," She says lifting her head only enough to look me in the eye, "Everyone says it doesn't matter cause' you won't make it. So I have no worrys of getting in trouble,"

"....What do _you_ think?" I ask, even though my head was in hers finding the reason,

".... I've prayed for help," She says, standing straight up, " I've prayed for love, I've prayed for the day to be over and I've prayed for my life to be," She looks almost through me, with tired eyes, "but if any of those will be anwsered, it's _going_ to be my prayer for you to win," She said sternly,

I look back at her, not in the mood for a reassureing smile yet, but manageing a- "...Thanks Anko,"

Her faces goes from the extream emo to extream happy again, like that conversation didn't happen, "Have fun inside! Orochi-Kunny called his old 'buddies' to try and kill you! but you should be fine, half of them are buffoons cause' the partners keep killing eachother and they started recruteing just about any five-star ex-con to join!" She smiled big and waved, we all stared at her for the minute and then slowly walked around her to inside

----------First Floor-Yagura's POV

We pass the crazed lunch lady and walk inside the establishment, the room is bare and square with banisters and polls everywhere, everythings colored in a dull navy blue. Across the room there's a closed-in phone booth, something green-and breathing- is inside it, another person sat infront of it fiddleing with his shoes. he had a orange swirl mask tied on, with raggedy clothes and messed dark brown hair,

"Zetsu-Senpai!" He said in a childish voice, "They're here!" He says, with not fear but joy, I imagined it was cause this retard was happy he got to anounce the enemys where-abouts,

"How many Tobi?" A deep voice from inside the booth asked,

"Uhhh-" He counts us, everyone is too dumb-founded to do anything right now, "All nine!"

"I'll tell the others," The voice inside said, "All nine. One or two shall be stopped here," Echoes of that notice echoed above us, showing he was talking into a speaker and telling everyone else of our arrival,

I pulled out my weapon, the long hook I've had since before I can remember thats design compares to nothing else thought to be made, I suppose it's about time to make up for my miserable defeat earlier, ugh, how pathetic. "Naruto, I'll deal with these goons, you all keep going up," There was another staircase next to the two goons, Naruto nodded, "Utakata, stay here for back up and leave if I need so, alright?"

"Of course,"

I aim the hook towards the little orange guy, looking riduculous as he just allows everyone to pass him and go upstairs, although it may be part of a plan, there's enough floors here for everyone to make it up without assistance.... hopefully,

---------Second Floor-Yugito's POV

Yagura stays downstairs to hold off mister pumpkin head, the second floor is exactly like the last, one single white bulb blareing, lighting the dull room,

So tacky!

Not now two,

I'm three

No I'M three!

If your three who's four?

This one,

Who?

Four,

Right- wait, who am I?

Zero,

Well that sucks,

No that means your the orginal,

Oh, awsome,

Okay ladys, let us allow only one personality to take place here,

Who are you?

Seven,

I thought you were eight? ugh, you two act so much alike,

We do not!

Excuse me?! what's so wrong with me?!

Your BORING!

Well your ANNOYING!

....I'll handle this then- Damn other personalitys, always bickering durning my math class, but this isn't math, this is likely life or death, and we need to deal with all this seriou- OHMYGAWD IT'S THAT JACKASS FROM MISTER HAPPYS!

The really cute con guy?!

The one that kept swearing infront of the little children?

Oh, there you are seventeen,

Hi,

He, is, not, cute, he, is, a, selfless, bastard,

I let the other girls bicker, yeah, it's the man from Mister Happys, that number 6 through out the window, mister no-shirt-no-service, with his gelled back white hair and scarred biceps, a red tattoo of a triangle inside a circle on his chest where his heart would be if he had one,

"Ahh, Kuzu, it's that bitch from that one place," He whines ironicly, his companion geared up in heavy clothes and jackets with a bandana covoring his hair and another over his mouth,

"Well, she's not serveing us and there's no money at stake, do what you wish with her Hidan," He growls in a deep voice,

"Shyea', awsome," He says smileing, he stands up from his spot on a lone crate in the middle of the room, "Wanna dance sweetcheeks?"

"Only if you play nice," I smile, "Naruto, I needn't say that I have this guy,"

"So we'll split up on each level, I got'cha," Naruto smiles with me,

"AHHHHHH!" A scream from below, from that pumpkin head echoes,

"Stupid Tobi," The other guy growls, "I was about to say how I wasn't as easy to get past as him, but I'll let you make it to the next level before you die," He trys to walk calmly past us down the steps but Han stands infront and stops him, "Ugh, your kidding right?"

"Your not just going to walk right past us," Gaara says,

"Run!" Yagura's voice yells followed by a growl, I figure it right away, "Naruto! everyone else just go to the next level!"

"Bu-" Naruto trys, not yet having seen the reason,

"Just trust me!" He takes a last fleeting glance at me before listening and takeing the others with him, Han stays with me, "Han... give me a hand," I say smileing,

-------------Third Floor-Naruto's POV

More yells are downstairs, but I trust Yugito,

Ugh, another identical room, only there's a fishtank agenst the right wall, and this one doesn't seem to have anybody guarding it,

We walk slowly, everybody thinking about what mister biker-guy said about this being the last one we get too, I hunched booby traps or something, oh, and, how right I am,

A big blast at the left, everyone falls onto the ground, smoke clears and I see Gaara's the only one still standing,

One of the polls, crunched up into a shield stopped most of the blast, Gaara had his hand up infront of his face holding it in the air, he put his hand down and the shield stayed up for a second before it fell too,

"You've been practiceing I see," I say, dumb-founded at him,

"Just playing pranks on Kankuro, makeing his puppet collection dance around when he wakes up," He said, oh-so-calmly again, "I've got the coward that stayed in the shadows to set traps, you guys keep going, I have it alone,"

"Coward?! how dare you hng," A growl for some gu-yyyy that looks like a friggin' transvestite, "Just catching you all off guard, wise-ass, hng, and you best not face _us_ on your own," Long blonde hair with a purple jacket over mesh and ripped jeans, this guy is joined by a red-head about half his size in a red sweater and peach dress-pants, crossing his arms. The blonde challanges Gaara with glares,

"I said I had it Naruto, you go find your friend, you deserve that after what you've done," I couldn't stop my smirk, Gaara looked back at me, "I wouldn't be here right now otherwise, now keep going,"

"Roger that captain!" I yell, jumping up and running with the others to the next staircase

"And you cowards really thought we were stupid enough to set only one trap?" The red-headed guy spoke, in the corner of my eye I saw him pull a thread down,

Infront of us the thread sprout up and almost tripped the strangely silent Killer Bee, who must have been planning what was going to happen, He pushed me back into the others to stop from touching it and front-flipped over it,

Despite him pushing me, something moved me forward to almost trip over it myself, but then a big-big-BIIIIG blast from my right blew me to the ground and broke the string (That, when it fell, sliced three rocks)

And- low and behold, Sakura-friggin-Haruno, cutest girl in my old school, "Cha!" She did her little- adorable- battle cry, dressed in her red and white Karate uniform with her long pink hair out of her usual red bow,

"S-Sakura?!" I stared open-mouthed, she had managed to climb up the building and then punch the wall in- not that these walls are at all sturdy-looking,

"Naruto?" She looked at me, surprised,

"What are you doing here?!"

"The kids at school stopped talking about you killing that guy and switched to talking about how Sasuke was getting kidnapped by the pedophile in the old Akatsuki building," ..... HOW DID I MISS THAT?!

".....HOW DID I MISS THAT?!" I yelled,

Behind me, the blonde looked at his partner, "Who's on the next floor Sasori-no-Danna? hnm,"

"No one, yet," Mister midget friggin' got to Sakura so fast he almost dissapeared, "Your comeing with me,"

He wrapped near-invisable strings around Sakura's hands, he then dragged her upstairs-_again_ with the stairs (at least 'up' is where we're heading, otherwise I'd be pissed-to-all-get-out,)

"Um-Okay, I'll- uh," Sakura went up with him to keep from getting her hands cut off,

"Sakura!" I followed up, looking back, Gaara and the kid having a staredown was the last I saw,

Then there was the battle start, "My name is Deidara, one of the greatest artists ever known, hnm, and I'm the last one ever to see you alive, hn,"

The only thing after that were loud booms,

------------First Floor-Yagura's POV

Blasts from upstairs ring out, shakeing the ground and ringing my ears,

Meanwhile, I'm down here chaseing this damned _buffoon_ like I'm some kind of cowboy and he's the damned _cattle,_

"Get back here!"

"Dhyaaaaaa! Zetsu-Senpai!!! Tobi's a goodboy and he doesn't want to die!" He whines, damned fool,

Utakata changed to his destructive personality, but he's holding himself back enough to not rampage like at the game a few weeks ago, he's faceing a older man with his entire body covored that came down here,

At least it _was._ However he hasn't hit him with direct blows, Utakata's managed to rip most of his clotheing off, which has been making effective armor for the few moments, now his body shows how it's riddled with countless scars and still-fresh stitches. His bandana ripped away early on and is right now getting his shoulder-length hair hacked at by Utakata's nails,

I finally just jump infront of this retard and knock him onto the floor, I stand over him as he cowers like a small child,

Utakata manages to throw the man into the wall infront of me. He's about to kill him but I use my hook to grab hold of his neck and drag him over to me, the distraction snaps him out of his warp.

"Are you alright?" I ask

"Oh, yes, quite," He stands up and brushes off, "Shall we finish them then?"

"I don't see why not,"

--------------Second Floor-Yugito's POV

"Ah!" He whips me into the wall and smashes that dreaded three-bladed sythe he pulled out of nowhere out to keep me in place,

"Well then, I guess the little pussy's all tired out now?" He snickers

"B-bastard,"

"Oh, tsk tsk sweetheart, I mean, Kuzu never lets _me_ swear when I'm in here because it always leads to _such_ a racket," He growls pulling off the sythe to mock me.

"The baby always has to listen to his mommy, right?" I mock back and he glares at me, "Well, _sweetheart_, pussys have nine lives," I push the sythe off me and wind-mill kick him three feet away. He falls on his sythe and gets a mayjor slice to his rips where he yells and curses. Han sits in the corner waiting for me to _really_ need him.

--------------Fifth Floor-Naruto's POV

GREAAAAAAAT from the looks of all the GOONS in here we're all gonna get seperated, and not only that but Sakura made us leave her with that friggin' shrimp on the fourth floor.

We get to the top, and this room is finally empty, "You think there's more booby traps?"

"Nah' Narato, there ain't nothin' in here," Killer replys,

"Buh, I think somthin' is comin' " Roshi adds, we look at the staircase at the end of the hall, footsteps clank down, legs apper and my mouth starts hanging open and I stare at the friggin' forgotten cast member of Mean Girls,

Bright red hair, glasses, no boobs what-so-ever, and wearing enough pink to put Ryan from HSM to shame, not to mention the diva vibe and pouty lips,

".... Yes, Sharpay?" I ask,

" Daddy said you'd be here, stupid idiot," She growled, well, not sure I can call that a _growl,_ more like a _fuss_,

"Listen, you can scratch out these guys' eyes with your hundred-dollar nails, but I'm goin' through,"

"Ex-CUSE me?" She-.... I dunno the word for it,

"_Hey ya'll li'l princess wasuor name? wait thats right we ain' playin' no games, listen princess ya'll needa movoutahway, listen princess why dun'chya just ride off on ya'll li'l po-nay,"_

"....What?"

"....Jus'- jus' get outta tha' way please?"

She stares at us for a couple minutes, and I actually stare at us too, "Yeah, Killah', very fierce,"

"Aye' shuddup!"

"Listen, just move will ya?" I beg her,

"Ugh, stupid men, Suigetsu!"

"Whhhaaat??? Karin you ho-bag," I blue-haired kid stomps down the apparently short stairs with a long, thin sword in his hand,

"Get rid of your fellow idiots!" She points to us,

"Do I have to?"

"Yes you _have_ to Suigetsu you numb-skull!"

"But-"

"NO BUTTS!"

"Why not? you got enough ta' spare," I fight a laugh as Killer and Roshi fail,

"Just deal with them!" She yelled,

"Fine fine fine," He points his sword up to us, "Guess you getta' die," And then another giant footstep jumps off the step and lands next to him, holding out a even longer sword, "Kisame-Sensei? shall we slice em'?"

"And dice em' " The blue guy calls.... wait- BLUE?

_BLAST-VRHMMM_

AND blast-vrhmmm? whatta day,

To our left the dust and smoke clears, shiney gears and wheels are the first thing I make out, then it all settles and I see the shiney Harley Davidson that I've only known to be owned by one really lucky kid, "Shikamaru?!"

"Front an' center teach," On the back of his bike Gaara's- right now _lovely_ sister Temari sat in her powder-pink dress... Damn this is a awsomely fast-paced and random day, (These two are lookin' like the friggin stars of Grease for gawdz sake!)

Kankuro awkwardly peeks out from behind the two... Okay, Shikamaru has his hair out of his usual pineapple pony-tail and it's down in greasey shaggs, not to mention his old leather jacket that I just lost the bet that'd he'd never wear, and he has apparently stolen his dads mote- OHMYGAWD HIS NAME'S SHIKAMARU NARA I JUST FIGURED IT OUT OHMYGAWD!

"Hey, listen, Shika-dude? does your family have a park?"

"Nara park, yeah, but, why are you asking?" Did I mention he's smokeing? geez, I wish he was a rebel back when we hung out, I'd be so much cooler.

"...No reason.... Fonzy,"

"Very funny," He flicks the cigerette and moters past us, "We'll be downstairs helping the less-stupid,"..... He always was a ass....

They left, the Suigetsu guy is whineing to the blue guy that _he_ doesn't have a bike. And the 'ho-bag' looks like she just had a orgasm... "Goodluck guys," I run past them up the stares, the girl's still holding her legs together and the two guys are pissed now, so I feel sorry for Killer and Roshi... Having to deal with that Karin and all,

-----------Fourth Floor-Sakura's POV

I hear some motor zoom by below but then it's gone, 'Sasori' holds his hand over my mouth as he holds us onto the ceiling. We drop down finally and I fall to his side, "Now I get to play with you, little lady," He says deviously,

"Y-...you're not getting away with any of this," I growl at him, trying so hard to keep my pride up and fear locked down, but he chuckles,

Footsteps from behind us and I twirl around, A blonde girl just barely older then me tries to throw a punch at him.

He grabs her wrist before it connects "Not so fast"

"No!" But it's too late, she lifted her up and through her into the wall, she falls to the ground with a sickening crunch and I run over to her, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just deal with him," She tells me, I get up with all my energy back,

"I said, you are _not_ getting away with this!"

"Whatever," And I go straight after him,

-------------Third Floor-Kankuro's POV

Gaara still telepathicly throws pipes and drywall and anything he can find at the blonde guy. Shikamaru lets me off the bike, "Can you handle them?"

"I'll try," I say and he kicks the bike back up to go down another level, I wait for them to get close enough to try my plan,

I put out my foot, and trip the blonde guy,

"Ughn!"He falls flat on his face, then pushing himself quickly back up glares at me, "You idiot! my face, you damn idiot I oughtta kill you!"

"Hey, if anything, the scars make you look more manly," I smile mockingly at him,

"Idiotic method Kankuro. Effective, but idiotic,"

"Thank you, I try,"

"This is the last you mettle with Deidara! the-"

"The greatest artist ever lived," Gaara finished for him making him even more mad,

"You damn fool! I am not the _greatest_ I'm ONE of the greatest!" He growls, "Hn, The greatest one is still about four floors above us," He said pouting slightly, glareing at the ceiling like he could actually see through it to his rival.

"Listen, I don't mean to be rude, but, we're gonna kick your ass now,"

But then he smiles, looking down at the wall, "Hnnm, so you think,"

_BLAST_

------------Fourth Floor-Sakura's POV

Spin-kick, over and over and over and cut-

He finally smacked himself agenst the wall, but when I got up to him to see him he through himself up and managed to pick me up and throw me into the wall,

"You scrawny little wench," He growled, stomping closer to me, "You think with a few lessons in Karate you can push over just anyone?" I was seconds away from screaming for my life as he pulled out a knife, untill an explosion from the area right next to me, and Sasori's expression changed incrediblely to one of sheer fear " G- g- g-.... Granma?"

"Sasori!" A elderly lady walked up " There you a-... Oh my lord,"

"What?" I asked, her face matched Sasori's now

"... He hasn't aged a day," She said shakey,

"Wh- when was the last time that you saw him?"

She stared and then her face turned stern, "....Three days ago," .....Wh--_at?_ ".... WHEN HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LEAVEING TO GET MILK!"

"Ugh, you hag," He glared still holding the knife, does he _really_ find her intimadateing? I mean, she's wearing a pink apron for goodness sakes! "You have no business here, go roll over in your grave!"

"Oh Sasori you brute! I'll worry about how my tan's gonna come out when you finally move out!" I look back at him, all fear gone as I just look at him, his already pink cheeks flush tomatoe-red,

"I-I moved out ages ago! I just come back occasionally as to not cause suspision- and because I can only take so much of Deidara's voice," He explained,

"Oh yeah, your _boyfriend,_ I told your mother eating too much Passion fruits and clean-Melons would make you a rebelious queer!" I swear his mind just turned to mud right now. I get up unsteadily,

"Um, what do we do?" I ask her,

"What do we _do?_ dammit I haven't had a spanking partner since my brother went on that weekend fishing trip.... Three months ago," She says, I shrug, well, atleast I'm not going to die _bored_ now,

I'll help you get Sasuke back Naruto, I promise.

------------Sixth Floor-Naruto's POV

"Let me through!" I yelled, some white-haired Harry Potter look-alike blocked my path to the last staircase,

"Now why would I want to do that? I'm not even trieing to _do_ anything. I'm just here to see what it is that _you_ want,"

"I want Sasuke back you idiot bastard!"

"Testy testy, well I guess I shouldn't intervine, but I warn you there's other people that do intend to stop you,"

"Like I care, I made it this far and I'm not turning back now!"

"Naruto," I spun around behind me, Anko walked slowly over, fiddleing the lace of her skirt and for the first time holding a blank expression. "Don't listen to his flat threats, he's nothing but a lackey,"

"Now now Anko dear," He said glareing at us over a sadistic smile, "I'm not a lackey, but a simple child helping protect our master," His cold eyes turned on me, "Sasuke is Orochimaru-Sama's new favorite, and his thirteenth child in the house, not includeing the alliance with Akatsuki and those who've grown up and moved out,"

"That's a lie," Anko growled, "He, is, not, the thirteenth,"

"That hasn't grown up Anko dear," He said, "You've been replaced,"

"I did _not_ grow up," She seethed, "I _will_ not,"

"How does it feel dear? To be thrown away and forgotten like Orochimaru once was?" Heh, I would intervine but Anko might take care of him for me,

"Never," She growls, and I feel a lump in my stomach that told me to move, I walked slowly away from her as pressure started melting off her, "You will not be allowed to take another child,"

"Now, are you _really_ worried about Sasuke? or do you just want him out of the way?" I looked at Anko who for just one instant looked calmer, but then I could see the very moment where she made up her mind,

"I'm jealous," She said quietly, chokeing her words,

"The green-eyed monster finally rears her ugly head then?"

"I am not forgotten, and I will make sure that Orochimaru-no-Danna understands that," Green waves lashed out from under her, and the tattoo on her neck grew and lashed over her body, "I will _NOT,"_

The waves covored her and when they vanished she was completely diffrent, her skin turned pale blue and she had hook-like black marks on her face. A black heart on her chest pulsed and her dress turned darker colors. A purple jewel was ontop of her now flowing white hair and her completely black eyes opened with green slits like a cats eye. Her mouth opened and she had a black mouth with a green tongue, and long sharp fangs shineing as bright as the lights glare on her eyes. She screamed and jumped to Kabuto, but the next thing I saw was her still, and someones hand infront of her head, not touching her but keeping her still, Kabuto laughed, "I told you, I am not the one your going to deal with,"

_"Almighty push,_"

Anko was thrown to my side, her transformation reversed. I got down next to her, "Anko?"

"Naruto.... Go, go get Sasuke alright?" She smiled weakly, and then closed her eyes. And I looked up at the two new goons that did this,

-----------Second Floor-Yugito's POV

Han is completely immobile now. And half my ribs are broken, there's no way we'll make it back up to you Naruto, I'm sorry.

Hidan, the bastard, shuffles up to us lauging like a maniac. "Hey, pussy-baby, don't be so down, you still got some lives left right?"

I stand up, to at least keep him away from Han. He laughes some more. "Little bitch, think you can still stand a fu-" A fist ripps through the shadows sending Hidan to the ground, I look up a- OHMYGOSH HE IS SO CUTE!!!

I KNOW!

Please be eighteen please be eighteen please be eighteen

He looks TWELVE. Thirteen you horn-dog.

Shut up! anyway, this kid just saved _my_ life. He stands up straight, "It isn't polite to curse infront of a lady." He says.... oh.... so.... sexily,

I just had a orgasm.

Me too,

ANYWAY!.... Hidan stands up and glares at the boy, "You bastard, I'll curse you something you damn-

_BLAST_

He's cut off by a explosion upstairs the kid punches him in the gut and then in the head again,

He falls back dazed. "Th-thank you,"

He half-grins as he ties his hair up, "This is such a bloody drag."

--------------Sixth Floor-Naruto's POV

"What do you want?" I ask, mister pin-cushion and his fancy jeweled girlfriend, "Why is Orochimaru going through so much trouble for this?" I say, taking a last glance at Anko before she passes out from the blood loss.

"He has a bit of a insanity for children," The girl says, "But he's doing it for their best,"

"Bull shit!" I was about to go after them but pin-cushion holds his hand up, pushing me enough to that I don't go anywhere.

"I'm sorry, we have a job, and that is to eliminate you," He says,

"Bastard,"

"Have that half right," I cringe, another voice, another unexpected guest, another idiot to deal with.

The guy walking down the steps behind them was the one I saw at Ichiraku. Long black hair, pale, ridges down his nose. But I got him by his red eyes. They felt like they were pierceing my skin.

But my eyes just about popped out of my brain with what pin-cushion said, "Itachi, you have no business, I told you we wouldn't need you,"

"Why? because I'm on his side?" He gestured to me. Itachi, Itachi Uchiha, Sasuke's brother. For a second a corny movie popped into my head, that maybe I should let Sasuke stay here if it means he finally gets the brother he's been searching for all these years. "Pain, I'm not listening to your orders, even if they were to get my Sasuke out of here I wouldn't,"

"What's going on?" I ask, forgetting Anko and the two goons are even here. Itachi looks up at me with hurt in his red eyes.

---------Fifth Floor-Fuu's POV

Yayayayayayayay!!!

"Yay!" I plob mister blue man in the nose and he falls back like his little friend, I also have that mean girl cowering in the corner. Well, that's what they get for hurting Roshi and Killer!

The boys sit behind me, covored with scratches, mainly from mean girls' high-heels. No body noticed that I fell behind, I got distracted by the pretty bug outside! But while I was climbing on the wall I heard Killer screaming, so I had to help.

"Y-you h-h-h-h-hurt m-m-m-my h-h-ha-hair." The girl fusses.

"... Sorry,"

She starts crieing, playing with her bright hair. The blue guy crawls over to the corner. "I shoulda' listened to 'Tachi,"

"I _shouldn'ta_ listen to Karin," The other said,

I look back and Killer and Roshi, "Should we check on the others?"

Roshi nodded hurridly and Killer was still rocking back and forth.

"WE'LL SAVE YOU!!!"

_BAM_

"Oh! Hi Omoi!" I wave to Killer's cousins who just blasted through the window. Karui and Samui are still in their business suits and have apparently been dragged by Omoi who's dressed in his Indiana Jones outfit from last Halloween.

"WE'LL STOP THESE FEINDS FROM RUINING YOUR SI-ing .... voice?" Omoi looked around the room confused.

"Dude! whatterya doin' here?!" Killer yelled,

"What did you expect him to do when you leave a note on the counter saying you have something- quote, 'important to do and it involved kicking peoples asses'?!" Samui yelled at him.

"....Shyea... Probably not the brightest idea of mah' mind now wus it?"

"NO!"

Me and Roshi stood there, waiting for them to stop argueing..... OHMYGOSH ITS A BUG! "Fuu! get down from there!"

-------------Fourth Floor-Sakura's POV

"You bitches," Sasori growled, back when Chiyo hi-fived me she had connected strings to my fingers, and we used them to tie him up, he now stood still growling under his breath,

"I'll have to wash out your mouth later," Chiyo said laughing, "You nasty boy,"

He growled and cursed, I was this close to smileing in victory till he started to chuckle.

Next thing I know, he throws his arms up ripping his sweater, the strings came off and he through the tethered remains of his sweater into the corner, and all that was left were fresh bleeding slice's all over his arm's from the string, he stood up and leaned agenst the wall showing off his lean body and a kanji on his chest that from all my studys, I knew read 'Scorpion'

Behind him there were criss-crossing swords hanging. He drew the one sword, "I'm done playing with you dollies," He growled sadistic, " your not pretty enough for my collection," He paused then throwing the blade at us, it hit the ground infront of Chiyo and then was pulled up when Sasori through his arm down pulling near-invisable strings, Chiyo bent back and avoided it with perfect reflexs

She flipped back to behind me, "Okay girl! he's got his strings extra sharp today! they cut through my slipper!"

"Well that can't mean much. Slipper bottoms are rubber."

"No, lassie, mine are stainless steel," She lifts her foot to show me this. "Cus' I like em' to clack," ..... She's crazy,

"You're all going to die no matter what you do now." He called, "Did you hear that blast earlier? my partners nearing his grand finale. I myself will be lucky if I make it out of it when I'm having to deal with you whores."

"Ooooh crap,"

"What do we do?!" I turned to check on the unconcious girl behind us. I've been feeling tremors after every explosion, and I don't think this old building can take much more.

But Chiyo smiled defiant of our fate, "We go to plan Z,"

"C?"

"No, Plan Z..." I don't even recall a plan 'B'

She pulls out a laptop, he stares, not even him knowing what his grandmother's capable of. "What's that?"

"It's a video his dear-departed parents made,"

"I see! remind him of life before be became a villain!"

"...No.." Then what the hell IS IT?! "....Behold Sasori," He steps back, bringing up his swords like to shield himself. ".... YOUR PARENTS' SEX TAPE!"

She turns on the video and all I hear are moans and grunts. Sasori's face twists to make it look like it got ran over. Chiyo now hands me a frying pan that I don't want to know how she got. I take it and try to walk around to behind Sasori and not catch sight of the video.

I get there and start raiseing it up to wack him over the head. But it stops, getting caught on something. Looking up a earlier set trap of drywall falls down on us.

Sasori snapped out of it, pushing me out of the way. But only so he could wrap his string around my neck. Chiyo looks on, "Say bye-bye to barbie, granny," He says. The string slices my fingers as I try to grab at it and cuts my neck, and I feel the blood trickle down. Chiyo backs away, and Sasori pulls a trap that brings strings up all around her so she can't move.

I came all the way out here, snuck out of my house. To die? I came here to honestly just impress Sasuke. But he's not even here, I can only trust that that idiot Naruto's helping him.

But either way, I'm not letting this goon break me. For reputation, for love, for myself. I'm going to make it out of here.

I grab at the string, it slices my fingers to the bone. I rip it over my head just as he trys to pull it.

I run ahead and face him. Whisps of my hair flutter around him. Going from my waist to above my neck. But at least I still _have_ a neck. "You can laugh all you want, you can beat me to the bone. You can kill everyone around me and _ruin_ my hair. But I'll still come out the victor in this." I glare up at him as he looks back blankly, I assume my fighting stance, "And if you call me _barbie_ one more time I swear to god I'll kill you." He replies to this with lifting one of the sword, twirling it in his fingers and pointing it straight at me. But then I see Chiyo sneak up behind him with the frying pan.

--------------Third Floor-Kankuro's POV

"Ahahahaa!!" He screams at the top of hi lungs. Gaara's practicly passed out and I can barely move. "Okay! okay! maybe I AM the greatest! But we'll let your deaths decide that hmmm?!" He taunts like a maniac.

"You're one crazy fag you know that?" He glares at me. In the corner of my eye I see Gaara lifting himself up alittle,

"Me? ohohoh, you must be mistaken, I'm not crazy, I'M BRILLIANT!" He screams, Gaara's eyes focus on him, like he was when he was useing the telepathy. I search the room for drywall or more pipes moving, but I don't see anything. "Ohhh Itachi will probably be pissed, I've finally won! I've created the greatest art while he's upstairs playing with his fate! I win! and Sasori'll _have_ to say something, I've won and he'll HAVE to _notice my ART!!!_" He keeps screaming. Pacing around and jumping while he yells. Going completely nuts. While I stare at him I notice slithering on the floor. Turning around I see what Gaara was focuseing on. The empty fishtank. He pulled sand out of it. Crazy-blondie doesn't even notice. he just keeps screaming, "I've done it! you will _all, COWER!_ YOU WILL _ALL_,_ CRY IN FEAR! SCREAM FOR YOUR MOTHERS! BECAUSE, MY ART, __**MY ART, IS A BLA**_- umpf!" The sand wraps around his big mouth and ties his hands behind his back. The rest of it covors his body and Gaara starts lifting him in the air.

"Sand Coffin." A sickening crack and the guy falls to the floor. Bloody with who knows how many bones broken.

Gaara lets his head down and trys to rest. I used the energy of cockiness (which right now I have loads of) to get up and try and walk over.

But, yet another explosion. The ceiling implodes and-.... cousin Sasori?! "Oh my gosh! Saso you idiot!" I start laughing. Granma Chiyo hi-fives a exausted looking girl before pulling her down here (landing on Sasori)

"N-no-Danna," The blonde pushes himself up, "....Is it a tie?"

"Now's not the time for competion brat," He groans rolling over. Blondie acts like its a slap to the face at starts hitting his head on the ground chanting 'stupidstupidstupid'

"Is Temari okay?" Gaara asks when we both notice her half-awake in pinkies arms,

"Peachy," She answers for us. Then coughing a little.

----------------Sixth Floor-Naruto's POV

"Sasuke was lured here to see me, but Orochimaru won't even let me into the same room as him. His plan is to get world domination through 'harvesting' and tainting as many children as possible. Basicly, causeing it to turn into a hell." Itachi explained.

I look back at him, "Where's?"

"Sasuke's on the next floor." Itachi says, smileing weakly, "You need to get him."

"He's not getting past us Itachi," Mr. Pain the asshole says.

"Pain, but couldn't we-"

"No, Konan, no coulds, no shoulds, just have, we need the payment," He yelled at the girl, she looked back at me. Walking closer to me, "Konan come back!"

"We can't do this Pain! _I_ can't do this!" She yelled back at him. Turning back at me she lowers down to my level, "Naruto, right?" She smiles with tears in her eyes. "He's just doing this... because..."

"Konan,"

"Because... his friend is sick.... He's doing everything to get money for the surgery but-"

"Konan that's enough!"

"Please forgive him, please."

"Konan don't make me hurt you!" I glare up at him and Konan twirls around,

"Itachi!" She runs over as Itachi grabs him, she holds them them still and turns back to me, "Get through the door Naruto!"

Okay, so what if this is playing out like a suckish soap opera? I run up past them and try the door at the top of the steps. Locked, of course, Itachi had been trieing to get through before me. I can still hear Pain still trieing to get Konan and Itachi off, and I stare at the door trieing to come up with a plan.

Well, lets just say it came to me. "Anko?"

Her almost white arm shoots up and grabs the wooden door, "Kick his ass for me Naru-Chan," He pulls the door off with her nails and kicks me inside, "Orochi-no-Danna... ARRIVEING!!!!"

Okay, that was alittle more then awkward. I stumble up, and Anko goes back to kick _Pain's_ ass. "Tsk, tsk, already?" I hear Orochimaru's slithery voice,

I stare at Orochimaru, Sasuke's eyes seemed blank as he looked at the floor, I had to save him. He doesn't deserve this. He's gone through everything I have, with me, I'm not handing him over t-

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Another blast from my left. Smoke clears to show the hulking figure of-....

"Jiraiya!?" Orochimaru exclaims,

"Orochimaru! Time to right my wrong.... THIS IS FOR STEALING MY GIRLFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL!" He jumps off the bike he rode in on and starts poseing, I take a closer look and stare at him

"Jiraiya..... what are you doing with Shikamaru's bike?" I ask, he looks at me like a stranger asking the time in a room with a clock,

"Oh that? I thought you might regonize it, I tried 'customizeing' it a li'l so you wouldn't notice," He point's to a Kermit the Frog sticker on the gas tank. Whatta loon,

"Stupid Jiraiya, there's nothing you can do now!.... AND FOR THE LAST TIME TSUNADE CAME ON TO ME!" Tsunade!? PRINCIPAL Tsunade!? OH MY GAWD THEY'RE ALL LOON'S!!!

Wait, got to focuse now, now, what would bring Sasuke's attention?

"Itachi," I said quietly, Jiraiya kept whineing about what sounded like a fifth grade field trip. But Sasuke and Orochimaru snapped their heads up and I finally saw some emotion in Sasuke's face. And right on que Itachi walked through the doorway behind me- don't ask how I knew it was him, but I turned and saw that my feeling was right. I trusted the vision I saw in my head when I felt Sasuke rip out of Orochimaru's grasp, Jiraiya finally silences and Orochimaru only groaned knowing how quickly and completely he had been defeated, Sasuke ran over to Itachi.

But I ignored the happy ending, and I turned back and walked slowly up to Orochimaru,

Jiraiya just looked at me, to anyone else it'd of looked like he was just mouthing words, but I could hear his voice. "Focus it into your hand," He said, "make it swirl, and then-"

I dug my hand into Orochimaru, I'm not sure if he had been watching Sasuke leave or me walk up to him but he now looked at me with wonder in his eyes,

"You, your Naruto _Uzumaki,_" He growled, I looked down, it looked like there was a swirling ball of purple air in my hand, it started to make Orochimaru's shirt spin, followed by what felt like his own stomach. He let out a quiet scream and the force took effect and through him twirling agenst the wall. And I let it be over,

"Sasuke" I looked at him, he walked over to me first holding Itachi's hand but then letting go and getting up next to me. He looked like he might break down in guilt, Itachi walked up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

Behind him, other Akatsuki, the RDC club and everybody else that'd come to help finally had made their way up the stairs. I looked them all over, seeing everyone from Konan who looked about to cry, and Sakura holding her side being practicley carried by Fuu,

"I'm so sorry Naruto," Sasuke whispered, and it was the first time since this whole thing started that he actually sounded like himself. Almost like he was about to tease me or change the subject saying he was haveing his brain cells fried. It was almost perfect now, cause Sasuke had his brother and me, the only things that have been keeping himself together this whole time. All I could do was smile, and I know he was trieing so hard not to ruin the moment with calling me a loser again,

Orochimaru pouted with the other Akatuski's all sitting in either shame or boredom, and everyone else ran slash limped over... Did it just take. Like, three minutes to get Sasuke back after finding him? DAMN that's cheap. But I let out a sigh knowing, thinking, hopeing it was all over, and with Sasuke's smile and everyones cheers, I almost thought it was,

But we all know my luck don't we?

"Deidara-Sempai! Tobi scrached'ed his knee!" That goof-ball Yagura had been chaseing skipped over to Mr, Blonde, takeing a look of- not intrest, just impulsive curiosity, - and spotted Sasuke, the glimmer he usually had in his eye faded and he tilted his head, looking dumb-founded and walked slowly over to us,

"Tobi?" The blonde called, but he kept walking like he didn't hear. Half-way over he streched out his arm and reached for Sasuke. And I guess it was just a gut-feeling that made me stand in-between them,

"You got somethin' to say?" I asked, glareing at him although in my mind I was putting it off as him just being a retard. His attention turned on me and he twitched, streching his arm to me now,

"Tobi honey come back over here," Konan said about to walk over to us. The tone of her voice showed that she and nobody else knew what was going on, "Tobi?"

The kid looked at me and then seemed to twitch again, like he just got the chills. He closed his eyes and opened them again and they were bright red. His body shook again like he was scared, and his hand latched onto my neck, and then the other came up and his eyes watered,

Everything surrounding us turned purple, like the wind was turning the color and it all started whirling around us. His grip got tighter and I started to hear the screams- that had been humming mildly in my ears - get louder and louder untill it just stopped,

In the corner of my eye, and through the purple mist I noticed that Yugito collapsed, followed by Gaara, then Yagura, Killer, Utaka' Roshi Han, and Fuu, they all fell to the floor in a pile and small waves of color started to luminate off their bodys and were sucked in by this kid. Mine seemed to do the same with a red color, it smelled rancid and made my body start to feel heavy, and the pressure build, the screaming stopped but by the look of the kids face, he now had it.

His face started to warp, his body grew and hair turned dark and long, he closed his eyes and they re-opened a diffrent shape. The red color remained, and with the final addition of slight age and wrinkle, his face, the face of now a completely diffrent person turned fierce and I started to black out.

---------Sasuke's POV

"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!" I heard the man yelled. The swirling purple mist broke for a second every now and then. And I could see his eyes began glowing red as his brown hair grew long and raven colored, "THIS IS MY POWER! THIS IS THE SOUL! I WILL GET MY REVENGE ON THE KAGES! _AND I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL FIRST!!!!_" The unbelieveable pressure comeing off of his body was getting stronger and harder, so much that it felt like I might be blown away,

I tried to move forward to stop him but the effort only did as I feared and blew me back farther away, then I felt myself run into something warm "Sasuke!" I looked up and Itachi's face was next to mine holding me in place, "Believe in Naruto! if anyone can defeat Madara Uchiha it's him!" Looking over at Naruto, I poured my heart and soul into him,

Madara lifted him up and cletched tightly, but I suddenly felt another pressure, and saw Naruto's body emmiting a red aura, "YOU! YOU HAVE THE SAME POWER! YOURS IS THE SAME AS YOUR FATHERS! YOU ARE NARUTO NAMIKAZE!" He screeched, "I CAN TAKE YOUR POWER! AND THEN I WILL FOREVER HAVE THE ABILITY TO TAKE OVER THE CRUEL MESSED-UP WORLD! AND YOU WILL _DIE_ NARUTO! _DIE!!!!_"

"Itachi," I said, not expecting him to hear me from the whirling wind, but his grip got tighter. I looked around and the Akatsuki were all scattered around the room, their expressions showing that they had no idea these actions would lead to such hell, and Naruto's friends laid in a heap looking powerless and dead, but each one emmiting diffrent lights like Naruto was, and they were all going into Madara like he was absorbing them,

Naruto's red light started to do the same and go into him, but, after only a few seconds Madara's expression changed dramaticly. It looked like he was trying to let go of Naruto's neck, and his face showed a form of fear I've never seen, and the diffrent new pressure comeing off Naruto overlapped Madara's completely, and this one seemed to pull us in, Itachi held onto me and grabbed a pipe to keep us still,

Madara's purple wind was consumed by the red waves blasting around Naruto's body, I looked closer at him and it seemed like Naruto was coated with a red liquid, that smothered his body and formed a tail and ears, another tail grew, and then another as the small part of his face I could make out started to get rougher, the lines on his face spred out and his lips turned black. Then his body started to turn gray, before consumeing him again and turning black with the addition of yet another tail, Naruto's eyes turned white with his mouth that now had fangs, and as another tail grew out a skeleton formed onto his back. Then another tail,

Madara's face was just awe-struck now, " You... You have the Kyubi, the Nine-tailed fox!" His crazy smile returned, " YOU WILL NOT OVER COME ME KYUBI!!!"

Naruto let out a roar and I saw that Madara's arms had become inbedded into him, three more tails grew and Naruto's body grew orange fur, his eyes turned red with black rings, he let out another ear-pierceing roar, "Itachi," I whispered, then I felt him let go,

"Madara's done for Sasuke! now you have to get Naruto back!" the energy easily drew me streight to Naruto, I ripped him off Madara and then the man was consumed by the same blackness that had Naruto, only instead of coating him, it was eating him,

----Naruto's POV

I opened my eye's, everything was still black, but I turned and I seemed to be in a big room, infront of me there was a giant cage hanging open with a broken lock,

"Naruto," I heard a voice call to me, and at my right was... My father?

I've neer seen him, but he looks just like me, like in the pictures Jiraiya has. With rougher blue eyes and a gentler face, "...Dad?"

"Hello son," He smiled,

"Where are we?"

"Inside your heart," He answered,

"Why?"

"Naruto, I don't have much time to spend down here so I have to get to the point," He walked up to me and turned to the cage, "When you were first born, our town was attacked by a creature of dreams,"

"Dreams?"

"Yes, there were nine monsters, made up of the hate in a persons heart," He said, "Of course, the goverment and scientists didn't believe the whole story of these monsters," I looked at him, "So, me and the 'believers' that got the nickname of 'Kages' came together and did a ritual, it would lock each monster in the heart of a person with a pure enough heart to defeat the hatred and inevitably seal the creatures. But of course as you know a side effect was that eventually they would try and break out," He said, smileing at me, "Resulting in?"

"....Temper tantrums?" I said pretty dumbly

"Very good." He laughed, " Now, luckily they have been able to be more effectivly sealed by something else," He turned to me again, but I couldn't think of why, "You Naruto, the purest heart that was able to contain the most fierce beast,"

"Untill now," I said, looking down at my feet,

"Only because Kyubi saw all the pain and hatred in Madara's heart was so easy to latch onto,"

"Why couldn't he just do it before?"

"Because, you've surrounded yourself with such pure and happy people, and now... Well look how tiny you've made him," He pointed over at a small fox, that was walking out of the darkness and back into the cage, "Did you have fun Kyubi?" He mocked the small orange animal,

"Lots, only that damned Madara had something in his core," He spoke in a rasped, evil-sounding voice,

"The boy," I looked at him again, "Madara is hundreds of years old, grew up in war, where he lost his brother and had his heart turn cold," He explained, "Remember the one that Madara emerged from?" I nodded, remembering, "He was the reincarnation of Madara's brother, when Madara's spirit had still not found peace and found his brothers new body, he possesed it,"

"What happened to him then?"

"Kyubi?" He turned to the small fox who used one of its nine tails to re-shut the door,

"He'll be there, Madara-free," He groaned going into the corner of the cage and rolling into a ball of what I _really hoped _was of shame,

"And the others?"

"All holders of the others should be back to normal," It groaned, dad smiled at me again,

"With these things still in them," I stared at Kyubi who looked back at me,

"The animals are changed with the years they spend in the pure hearts... Sooner or later, they'll be chibi-size thinking about nothing but sun-shine and lolipops,"

"Ugh," Kyubi moaned,

"Naruto, I need to ask you something," He said

"What?"

"Naruto, you need to help the world break the circle of hatred it's caught itself in,"

"...By?"

He smiled down at me, "By being yourself," He turned and started walking away to a light in the room, "Goodbye Naruto," There were two other figures in the light, and I heard my mother's voice echo

"Goodbye Naruto,"

"Naruto," My eyes closed, and I was engulfed by cherry blossom petals

.....

"Naruto?... Naruto!"

My eyes opened and Sasuke was hovering over me, his brother was behind him and we were still in the building. After a few seconds I pulled myself up, "Where is everybody?"

"They're all here Naruto, and wakeing up," Itachi assured me, I looked behind them and saw them wakeing up. The Akatsuki were all checking them, I looked at a pile of ash that used to be Madara, Sasuke and Itachi followed my gaze as a white light formed out of the ashes,

"Tobi!?" Deidara ran over to the light, it slowly formed the body of the goof-ball who looked like he was peacefully sleeping. And he picked him up, "Tobi? are you there? speak to us! hn,"

I breathed a sigh when he opend his eyes tiredly and looked up at the members that had run to his side, "Did Tobi mess up again?" He said looking up at them,

"No honey it's fine, you did very, very good," Konan comforted him,

I looked over and Kankuro and Temari were helping Gaara over to me "Are you alright Naruto?"

".....Peachy," They all smiled, and then it started to register that I've broken a couple ribs, "I think we need a doctor," I said quietly, falling back onto my back, hitting my head on the floor, and letting out a whiney girl scream as I rolled around on the ground,

Rumbles.... booms.... not agaaaAAAIN!

I see Sasuke look over to the Akatsuki's little huddle in the middle of the room,

"Deidara," Shrimpy-mc-stringy (where'd I get that from?) looked at mister-miss blonde, "Brat... How many bombs exactly did you set off?"

"I dunno!... ughn, un," He started counting, ".... Somewhere around... twenty," He smiled weakly at his fingers.

The place started shakeing again, crap, "Now what? I don't think any of us can fly.... Can we?"

"Nope," Itachi said,

"....Well then... We are in deep Kiba-crap Sasuke my man," I say acting like we got caught pulling a prank at school, he stares at me like I'm a loon.... which I am,

He stares at his brother, the now moving floor, and then me, "... No shit Sherlock." One of the girls screamed and we all made a very comical run for the door at the same time.

-----------Outside

The place crumbled immidiantly, everytime we got to a lower floor the one above us collapsed. Call it the awsome power of luck but I'm feelin' pretty epic right now!

"Naruto?"

"SOMYGOSHIDIDNTDOITKIBADID!" I yelled immdiantly on hearing that voice, but the I opened my eyes, "Iruka!"

I ran over to him and pretty-much tackled him, Konohamaru's squad was here too. They jumped on me screaming like lunatics. They even ran for Sasuke but he used his signature to get them to turn right on around and go after me again.

Behind me, Choji, who I used to share a bunk with untill he was adopted by Shikamaru's family. Was stareing at the building, (Alotta police are here by now) that was burning. He looked at Shikamaru who had Temari on his shoulder, "DUDE! I know you said you were gonna kick some ass with Naruto but I didn't think THIS much ass!"

"He was talking to you Choji, so he ment alot," Temari poked his stomach,

The Akatsuki sat (well_, fought_ for a seat on a bench) Being questioned by the police, so far they only seemed mildly pissed. But Itachi, son of their former police cheif was the one talking to them (Wait, how did I KNOW that?!)

Jiraiya approched us, the sight of his hulking figure easily sent Konohamaru and his lot hiding behind Iruka's leg. "Naruto.... you.... Are the seeker,"

"I also have a sneaking suspision I might be the key to Tom Hanks' Angels and Demons sequel, but what's your point?"

"You are all special,"

"Yeah, my daddy's ghost appered and told me the story, dreams, NiGHTS refferences, Freddy K, I got it dude,"

"WHAT!? Dammit Minnie KNEW I wanted to tell you!" He pouted, "Oh, wait, but he didn't do THIS!"

He handed me a blue sweatband with a little red symbol on it,

"....Your giving me a sweatband with the Time Warner Cable logo on it?"

"D'NO! It's the little symbolly thingy for the Kage org," he explained, trying really hard to be professional and failing at it miserably,

"Besides, he made it himself so you shouldn't be surprised." I leaned sideways to look past Jiraiya at- TSUNADE?! (Why is everyone I've ever met in my whole life arriveing here?) ".......Why? you? here?"

"Cause, I, is," She replies,

"Now, why'd the hell you date Jiraiya?"

"I never dated Jiraiya!" She growls glareing at him,

"But you kissed Orochimaru," Jiraiya whines sulking,

"I kissed him on the cheek cause he won the science fair!"

"Nerd,"

"Jiraiya are you high?! what have you been telling this boy!?"

"..... And you turned down my marriage proposal," Dude, I'm being Punk'd right? (ZOMG AM I GUNNA MEAT ASHTON!?)

"Because you _made _it two weeks after my fiancee died!" She yells at him,

".... I thought it'd be romantic,"

"Oh you idiot," She growls, turning back to me, "Anyway," She turns serious, "Naruto, do you really know the magnitude of this? Your lucky Itachi Uchiha is the one talking to the police. Otherwise we'd _all_ be in big trouble."

"And?"

"Are you not listening?!"

".... But, what do you want me to do about it," She stared at me with her eyes wide. Oh, my, gawd, I just pissed off AND won a fight with PRINCIPAL TSUNADE! WOOHOO!

"...Stop making those faces," Crap, "Are you, not hearing-"

"Ow! not till you reminded me!" The scream started, but it was quiet, But REALLY Tsunnie!

"Well Naruto, if you understand what you now have to deal with, do your friends?"

"Excuse me Ms. Senju," Tsunade turned around to Yagura who looked like a messy rag doll, "We've been standing right here the whole time, and yes, we've been aware of our diagnosis for quite some time, and I believe that we can infact 'deal' with it." He is SO pissed that it all turned out to be supernatural! oh my gosh his pissy-face is AWSOME!

Tsunade looked at all of them, "Are you sure? I don't need to go into detail?"

"Mister-Tachi-Kun already told us," Fuu pointed behind them at Itachi who was finished with the police.

"I guess I should have expected," She said,

"Wait, how come Itachi knows so much?" Itachi walked up next to Tsunade on que, Sasuke was now clutching his sleave like a little kid,

"So _your_ Sasuke is Sasuke Uchiha?" She mumbled, "Naruto, your father Minato Namikaze and theirs Fugaku Uchiha knew eachother. However he was never a member of the Kage Organization. Minato allowed Fugaku's decendants to be the guardians of whoever happened to hold the monsters."

This apparently joyed Sasuke, "Dude, I _own_ you,"

"Shut up," We wacked eachother in the head.

"See Itachi's eyes? they're Sharingan, they calm the Biju's."

"Why doesn't Sasuke have it?"

"He might not've awakened them yet," Itachi said looking down at his brother. He smiled as he got an idea, "Naruto, you Sasuke and your friends go walk into the moonlight."

"Why?"

"Oh right, the full moon strengthens their powers." Tsunade muttered to Itachi. I grabbed Sasuke's hand and gestured the RDC to follow us.

The fire was dying down and the only thing showing any light was the gigantic moon. We left a trees shadow and all got in the light.

Okay so lets see. Sasuke's eyes are the predicted red. With a little black loop and commas. Gaara's were black with yellow pupils. Yugito's were black with green pupil and blue fire. Yagura's were black with _glowing_ red. Roshi had glowing orange. Han had bright white with weirdly shaped blue pupils. Utakata and Fuu both had white with dilated pupils, hers orange and his black. And Killer Bee took off his goggles and had bright white eyes.... Spoooky,

"Oh oh hey! Whater' mine!" I waited for someone to say,

"You look... like a demented cat," Sasuke finished.

"Agreed," Gaara said about to laugh.

"YAY!" Everybody laughed again, ain't I so special? We looked up at the partially cloudy sky. And, well, it kinda started snowing, "Snow in-.... what month is it?"

"Naruto, it was New Years just a couple weeks ago, you don't remember?"

No, I don't remember cause we didn't DO anything. "... Wait, so I missed New Years AND Chrismas!?"

"Yeaaaah, I was to emo to send you anything, and I guess no one else cares." Sasuke replied,

I turned around, "WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL MY PRESENTS?!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ENNNNNNNNND

Yes, I finally looked up Konohamaru's birthday, (chapter three or four) and it was just like' a week before Chrismas. So I realized I- NARUTO completely forgot about Chrisymas.

Okay, it was storming when I wrote this. So I had to keep saving it incase the power went out XD

It took me WEEKS to finish (as you can tell) And that was with half the thing finished already! (Most of Sakura & Chiyo VS Sasori I had already written, and the the entire ending)

Now, the Epilouge. (And don't forget that I'll be makeing a sequel too)


	14. Happily Ever After

----------------------Happily Ever After

And so that's how it happened, I seem to have suceeded in finally going over that whole time in one day-dream. Sasuke sits next to me on Iruka's porch. What? When I said 'you probably don't care what I'm doing now' you didn't think it'd end with me as some old business guy with a wife and two kids right?

No, that all happened aboooout.... Three months ago I think? anyway. I'm still pissed about no presents from my rich godfather.

I still do the usual, a week or two with Jiraiya. And same here. NOW everything's back to normal, and annoyingly happy too!

The RDC club is more like a hangout, everybodys doing better with their tempers and stuff. Itachi (who is the coolest brother in this whole entire world) has a apartment next door to Iruka's, and practicly _shares_ the Uchiha fortune with Iruka. It is so awsome. I'm like' RICH.... DOUBLE RICH!

AND Sakura pays more attention to me! AND I DON'T THINK IT'S CAUSE I LIKE' HAVE SASUKE PERMINATELY GLUED TO MY HIP!

Yeah, we almost never seperate, and comes with me to Jiraiya's pretty much every week. He hates my room, but that's peachy with me! EX DI!

Shikamaru was in town because his family moved back. So I got HIM to deal with too, I think the super-cool lady-killing rebel from that night was a one-time thing. Cause his head is back to lookin' like a pineapple.

Kiba lives in the area... I, am, DOOMED!

Turns out the 'Akatsuki' people got off on really strict parole. Even Orochimaru, (however he's on house arrest) And Sasuke seems... I dunno, _sorry_ for him or somethin'! He still drags me over to that creepy-arse HOUSE! in which I spend most of the time bugging crazy-lunch-lady Anko. Whom is back to crazy-self.... I never got the guts to ask what the hell happened.

But anyway, yeah, everythings details are still sketchy, but I could care less. My life is AWSOME!

Konan's awsome too, turns out all her friend Pain (AKA Yahiko the crazy) just needed a NICE, LARGE dose of Anti-Depressants. And, they're useing money they get from volenteer work to help their friend Nagato in the hospital. Whose got something straight outta' Diagnosis UNKNOWN

And those Akatsuki loons come over (and STAY over) often with Itachi. I'm telling ya'. I am THIS CLOSE to shoveing something of Sasori's in Deidara's mouth just to SHUT, HIM, UP,

Did I mention that Konan's hot? I didn't notice when we were enemys but she has- like' Tsunade cup boobs.

In Namikaze Town, Jiraiya has changed- NOT AT ALL, he's still the loon I love. And RDC club is like' awsome, and, everything is, awsome, and, my life right now? awsome,

And right now, as I sit up after dreaming for who-knows-how-long, I have Sasuke on my right, writeing in his notebook of mystery. And looking to the left, The Akatsuki seem to be helping Itachi move a couch.

Well, most of them. Tobi's asleep on the couch. Pain's 'taking a break' and Konan's waving at me -HI KONAN!-

"You.... bastard... Uchiha..... I have.... half a mind to.... kick... your.... Ungh," Deidara whined.

"YOU ------- ------- UCHIHA! WHAT THE LIVING ---- DID I DO TO YOU!?!?" Hidan yelled- I wonder why people are honking so much?

They finally got the couch inside. I fiddled with my iPod that got Sasuke curious and I put the other earphone in his ear.

_And I lay, my, head, back, down, to sleep_

_and I pray, that you will hold me dear,_

_As I lay my head back down to sleep_

_I pray, to be only yours I-_

_pray, to be only yours now_

_I, pray, to be only yours_

_I know now, your my only hope_

We run up to Itachi whose nibbleing a Pixy Stick (another awsome thing about Itachi? He seems to know where to get all the awsome candy you only find on Halloween.)

"Yes boys?"

"Why do you have so many gay songs on this?" I wave it around in his face

He smiles, "To be exact- as I do recall, Sasuke opted for Mandy Moore," I started laughing non-stop and Sasuke decided it was time to turn around and pretend he didn't know us. So, that's my que to chase him around the block like a lunatic.

_So what if you could see_

_the darkest side of me_

_somebody help me tame this _

_Animal I have Become_

_and we believe_

_it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this_

_Animal._

-----------------------------------The End


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